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Forum: Site Goals and Ideas
Thread (Discussion): Minors on the site - planned changes
Message 139017
Posted by steve
on Aug 22, 2004 11:15 PM | Also by steve
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Virginia,
Country: United States |
Due to a number of factors affecting some users of the site and factors which affect me as administrator of the site, I have decided to make some changes that will affect minors' access to parts of SexCriminals.com.
I am in the process of doing the following:
1. Requiring minors be at least 13 years old to register as a user.
2. Removing the ability for minors to post in any capacity to the site's discussion forums.
3. Removing the ability for minors to send or receive Private Messages from anyone other that site administrators
Since user registration was implemented in October 2003, I only recall a handful of forum participants who supplied date fo births indicating they were under 18 so I don't think this will affect many potential posters, but I still want a way minors looking for information can ask appropriate questions. To that end, I am considering adding a question and answer section to the site, which will allow minors 13 and older to ask questions. The types of questions I am referring to are things like "Is it illegal for me to date a guy who is 18?", "My friend told me his coach is molesting him. Who do I report that to?", "How do I find out if my piano teacher is a sex offender?", etc. I may open this section to adults as well and may make user registration optional to submit a question to it.
I've considered a number of other ideas - too many to post here right now. I would appreciate feedback, comments and suggestions about the plan I am considering above, including the changes that I am currently working on. If there is a hole in the plan, it will have a negative impact on you, it would still cause you problems, you have questions about it, you have a different suggestion, etc. I want to hear about it here.
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Message 139025 (In Reply to Message 139017)
Posted by dp1
on Aug 23, 2004 02:02 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
How would you manage the replies to the minor's questions?
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Message 139037 (In Reply to Message 139025)
Posted by steve
on Aug 23, 2004 04:27 AM | Also by steve
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Virginia,
Country: United States |
The only person able to post answers would be me or another administrator if I decide to allow one to do so. The process I envision would be as follows:
1. Question submitted.
2. Administrator optionally makes question visible to users.
3. Users submit reponses to administrator.
4. Administrator posts reply to question, taking into account user responses (if any), editing as appropriate.
Not all submitted questions would necessarilly be replied to or appear in the Q&A section.
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Message 139043 (In Reply to Message 139017)
Posted by Silverthorne
on Aug 23, 2004 07:24 AM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
I'd be in favor of these changes. In the Q&A section it would be nice to have fully moderated replies so they're ONLY helpful and not opinionated.
Silverthorne
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Message 139048 (In Reply to Message 139043)
Steve
Posted by Rachel
on Aug 23, 2004 10:07 AM | Also by Rachel
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Australia |
By administrator, do you mean yourself only ? Or are you talking about those people who are also moderators being able to reply to questions ?
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Message 139057 (In Reply to Message 139043)
Posted by dp1
on Aug 23, 2004 01:45 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I like those sections on websites that have the Frequently asked Questions and answers section. Maybe with Steve's new idea it could develop into that once we get a feel for what type of questions are normally asked. You've been around a while Silver, have you seen the same questions over and over or are they sporatic?
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Message 139176 (In Reply to Message 139017)
Good ideas
Posted by Lorelei
on Aug 27, 2004 01:47 AM | Also by Lorelei
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Texas,
Country: United States |
I think those are all valid ideas, and I will think about it some more and let you know if I think of anything else. I haven't posted long, but my background is such that I may be able to help with questions, and I would be glad to do so.
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Message 139181 (In Reply to Message 139176)
Posted by dp1
on Aug 27, 2004 03:22 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Thanks. Great idea!
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Message 141636 (In Reply to Message 139017)
Steve
Posted by dp1
on Nov 29, 2004 03:33 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I'd like to inquire on your status regarding changes in reference to minors posting to the forums.Somehow it just doesn't sit with me well, and I find deviant discussions among minors and adults disturbing and clearly not appropriate. Also, allowing minors to have PM capability with sexual deviants and vice versa is beyond the scope of helping and supporting victims.
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Message 141644 (In Reply to Message 141636)
Posted by orolan
on Nov 30, 2004 12:12 AM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
...I find deviant discussions among minors and adults disturbing and clearly not appropriate.
Damn. Did I miss some deviant discussing????? That's what I get for taking a couple months off:-(
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Message 141690 (In Reply to Message 141636)
Posted by steve
on Dec 02, 2004 04:49 AM | Also by steve
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Virginia,
Country: United States |
A user must be 13 to register as a user, 18 for unrestricted access. Minors cannot send private messages to anyone, but admin users and cannot receive private messages from anyone but admin users. Minors also cannot create new threads or reply to messages in any forum except the Victims and Survivors Corner. Since posts to that forum are more heavily scrutinized, convicted offenders and deviants are discouraged from posting there and inappropriate posts are blocked, it should be relatively safe for minors to post to.
I also recently added some additional text to the registration process to warn potential users that the types of people and views expressed in some of the forums might make them uncomfortable and encouraged them to review posts in a forum before chosing to post I also added to the previously existing warning about chosing a username, to discourage people to use certain types of identifying information such as their age and real first name (last name was explicitly mentioned before).
If an inappropriate reply is or has been made, let me know. Also, if there's a bug anywhere on the site that prevents it from working as described above or something that I didn't consider, just let me know.
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Message 141724 (In Reply to Message 141690)
My response to Message 141665 in Victim & Survivor by Valerie
Posted by orolan
on Dec 02, 2004 06:09 PM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I have posted here as I do not post in V&S. But I do read there, as a tool to further increase my empathy for victims.
If an inappropriate reply is or has been made, let me know.
Valerie's response to this individual seeking help and support is quite disturbing. Not only does she incorrectly claim that us sex offenders frequent the V&S Forum and thus it is not a good place to be, but she also sends a message to any other readers of that forum who may have been considering finally posting their troubles and have now been scared off.
Incidentally, no anonymous forum is truly "safe". Even a closely moderated forum such as the one DP1 suggested can be infiltrated by any person with a modicum of intelligence.
My responses to various aspects of Valerie's post:
you will not find the peace and answers you are looking for here
How sad. Supposedly the people who post in the V&S Forum are there to offer help and support. Are you saying they don't give any?
in fact you will get a distorted view from sex offenders
I don't see any sex offenders posting in V&S. I myself may have posted in there a grand total of two times, and I challenge you to show me where those posts were not appropriate to the discussion.
lets look at the facts
Now THAT would be a new, novel approach for you. Glad to see you turning over a new leaf.
a person convicted of a sex offense obviously wasnt making valid, rational decisions in judgement
Assuming of course that the conviction is "real", instead of a detective making up evidence, right;-)
dont expect to get healthy feedback
What? You non-offenders who are the "support staff" of V&S don't provide healthy feedback? Perhaps us sex offenders do need to step in and catch your slack;)
if you insist on interacting with sex offenders
I don't see any interaction between this person and any sex offenders. Nor do I see her "insisting" that us sex offenders respond to her. So what's the beef?
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Message 141743 (In Reply to Message 141690)
Steve
Posted by dp1
on Dec 03, 2004 03:29 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Thanks for clarifying the boundaries with minors. Your changes and hard work is appreciated.
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Message 141768 (In Reply to Message 141724)
Orolan
Posted by dp1
on Dec 03, 2004 02:32 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I have posted here as I do not post in V&S. But I do read there, as a tool to further increase my empathy for victims.
And I admire your efforts Orolan. Can we take this empathy thing just one step further? Imagine being a victim of sexual abuse and finally getting the courage to post about the abuse. Would you not be scared, lonely, angry and pissed off at every single RSO in the world and want to kill them all? Be honest. I am not saying every RSO needs to die. I am simply trying to ask you to walk in victim's shoes for a few minutes. Can we have fun role playing temporarily?
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Message 141804 (In Reply to Message 141768)
Posted by orolan
on Dec 04, 2004 03:18 PM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Assuming I have none of the knowledge I do have about repressed-memory therapy, false accusations, circumstantial and situational offenses, etc, then yes, I'd probaly be one pretty pissed off victim. Especially if I had some guy telling me I was full of crap and shouldn't have made myself so available to my perpetrator, etc.
Your turn. If you were a convicted sex offender and on the registry because your neighbor's 12 year-old son saw you sunbathing topless in your back yard, wouldn't you be pretty pissed off about the whole sex offense / registry hysteria?
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Message 141806 (In Reply to Message 141804)
Posted by dp1
on Dec 04, 2004 03:43 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
If you were a convicted sex offender and on the registry because your neighbor's 12 year-old son saw you sunbathing topless in your back yard, wouldn't you be pretty pissed off about the whole sex offense / registry hysteria?
I'd be so pissed off at myself for using such poor judgement I doubt I'd even think rationally enough after kicking myself in the ass for being so stupid to even think that far ahead.
Orolan, I can very easily see how all of us use poor judgement at times. What I can't empathize with is blaming my poor judgement on anything or anybody but myself. I'm as guilty as anyone else for having brain farts or lapses in judgement. But, I don't know of any other way to correct that situation other than take personal responsibility for my actions.
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Message 141853 (In Reply to Message 141743)
infighting
Posted by 1dadof5
on Dec 05, 2004 07:25 AM | Also by 1dadof5
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Indiana,
Country: United States |
What a great comment about running people off the site who may have needed the advice myoung or mom2 could provide. Who seem to be the only ones who do offer up positive insight and valid arguments because they either have had abuse themselves or are dealing with children who have. who better to understand it from a victim and a parents perspective than these two. And Valerie ran some of these who may have been on the verge of making a post on something they really could have used some advise for, and now they are gone!
I think we need to collectively look at ourselves, me too, and think about if we are acting as supportive people for those who come here on both sides of the fence seeking answers or do we further deepen the rift between both sides. We are not acting with the intent that I’m sure Steve had when he started this site.
I have been, over the last few months, downloading all the resources Steve has posted on this site and reading them along with other materials from internet and books because I really do want to get to the core issues, find real solutions, Offer valid resources for all to benefit from. When it comes to offering more help from this site, We need to look at our individual states and find the best victims and offender resources
Available, job availabilities, housing for offenders, and victims. Where Womens health centers and such are located, victim support groups. Do you guys follow me here. We collect the info, someone verifies it, and steve posts it.
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Message 141868 (In Reply to Message 141853)
Posted by dp1
on Dec 05, 2004 03:41 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I agree 100%. My position has been from the very beginning to observe safe and healthy boundaries on both sides. Steve has helped with that over the past year by dividing the forums. That has helped tremendously. I see more meaningful discussions as a result. The victim's never had the support they have now thanks to the many supportive victim's and moms that contribute to that forum.
Personally, I'd like to see the other side forum start to shape up. Less focus on minors posting and more focus on dealing with real life stress. I think the victims can add a great deal to the discussions because of the unique point of view and common victim issues.
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Thread
139017, steve, Aug 22, 2004 11:15 PM
139025, dp1, Aug 23, 2004 02:02 AM
139037, steve, Aug 23, 2004 04:27 AM
139043, Silverthorne, Aug 23, 2004 07:24 AM
139048, Rachel, Aug 23, 2004 10:07 AM [Steve]
139057, dp1, Aug 23, 2004 01:45 PM
139176, Lorelei, Aug 27, 2004 01:47 AM [Good ideas]
139181, dp1, Aug 27, 2004 03:22 AM
141636, dp1, Nov 29, 2004 03:33 PM [Steve]
141644, orolan, Nov 30, 2004 12:12 AM
141690, steve, Dec 02, 2004 04:49 AM
141724, orolan, Dec 02, 2004 06:09 PM [My response to Message 141665 in Victim &...]
141768, dp1, Dec 03, 2004 02:32 PM [Orolan]
141804, orolan, Dec 04, 2004 03:18 PM
141806, dp1, Dec 04, 2004 03:43 PM
141743, dp1, Dec 03, 2004 03:29 AM [Steve]
141853, 1dadof5, Dec 05, 2004 07:25 AM [infighting]
141868, dp1, Dec 05, 2004 03:41 PM
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