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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Unknown about the future

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Message 173466 (In Reply to Message 173458)
More food for thought...


Posted by june5 on Feb 20, 2006 02:52 AM | Also by june5
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States
When I first posted here because my husband had been convicted of a sex crime, I was asking for advice just like you. Another wife of an SO sent me a PM. She said that her husband committed a misdemeanor sex crime while they were married. She told me that there is always more that you don't know about. She told me not to be surprised if my husband was also cheating on me regularly or seeing prostitutes. When I first read it, I thought that there was no way. Then I realized that I also used to think there was no way my husband would ever be covicted of any crime, let alone a sex crime. Just the thought of it made me sick. I threw up.

I did find out later that my husband had cheated on me many times, by his own admission. Doesn't make him a criminal, doesn't make him a good husband or citizen, either. I believe he has changed. Doesn't mean your boyfriend won't change either. But why take a chance? What don't you know?

Think about it: maybe his crime wasn't that serious, but did you honestly think he was the kind of person who would do whatever he did do? I bet you didn't, or you wouldn't have been with him in the first place!

You seem to have alot of concern and love for your boyfriend. But the honest truth is that he wasn't thinking about your best interest when he committed this crime, even if it's not that serious. Someone committing a crime and moving on with their life is one thing. Someone committing a crime while in a relationship with you is something totally different.

It is a tremendous strain to be married to an SO. Life is not going to be normal for you, ever, until and if the current SO laws are struck down. The worst part is going to be the enormous resentment you are going to feel toward him when somehow your life is affected because of it, and you realize that it is completely his fault. Not only that, but he was with you at the time, and he didn't care enough about your well-being to not do it. I couldn't imagine starting a marriage with that kind of baggage. Please think about it.

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Message 173458
all help/comments invited


Posted by katiebird on Feb 20, 2006 12:32 AM | Also by katiebird
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

Thread


173458, katiebird, Feb 20, 2006 12:32 AM [all help/comments invited]
      173461, june5, Feb 20, 2006 02:12 AM [Hi Katie]
      173462, Renunciation, Feb 20, 2006 02:27 AM
            173475, katiebird, Feb 20, 2006 04:46 AM
                  173481, june5, Feb 20, 2006 05:49 AM [Kids]
                        173521, rodsmith, Feb 20, 2006 10:35 PM [june5]
                  173498, texaslady92778, Feb 20, 2006 04:27 PM [life with an RSO]
                  173547, Renunciation, Feb 21, 2006 05:00 AM
                        173552, june5, Feb 21, 2006 08:48 AM [Renny]
                        173560, texaslady92778, Feb 21, 2006 01:55 PM [renny]
                              173586, june5, Feb 21, 2006 07:39 PM [texaslady]
                              173601, Renunciation, Feb 22, 2006 03:15 AM
                              173611, dp1, Feb 22, 2006 04:32 PM
                                    173639, june5, Feb 23, 2006 08:16 AM [dp1]
                                          173658, rodsmith, Feb 23, 2006 06:38 PM [june5]
                                    173665, Renunciation, Feb 23, 2006 06:56 PM [DP1]
                                          173695, june5, Feb 24, 2006 08:00 AM [Renny]
            173772, sidmanv8, Feb 25, 2006 05:03 PM
      173463, june5, Feb 20, 2006 02:29 AM [Katie]
            173478, katiebird, Feb 20, 2006 04:59 AM
                  173486, amberleaf, Feb 20, 2006 07:50 AM [Katie]
                  173487, dp1, Feb 20, 2006 11:30 AM
      173466, june5, Feb 20, 2006 02:52 AM [More food for thought...]
      173500, fireflybabe, Feb 20, 2006 04:51 PM [I too married a Sex Offender]
            173599, amberleaf, Feb 22, 2006 02:27 AM [fireflybabe]
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