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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Update

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Message 139381


Posted by JakeLF on Sep 03, 2004 09:09 PM | Also by JakeLF
Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States
Hello everyone, this is JakeLF as you can see. I am doing good, therapy is going well and I feel like I am once again normal like the rest of the people out there except for the fact that I am a SO and pedophile. Though being those two things really doesn't bother me that much at all. Yeah I am attracted to children but I am not going to let that drive my life. I used to think that when I met people that I had to tell them of my past, but I have realized that I really don't have to. That is what I used to be and I am not that way anymore, so why tell people how I use to be when they are trying to know me for who I am and not the past.

Yes the feelings for children do surface when I am in a public place but they dont stay around as long. I have found that when I am aroused in public by a child to escape to the bathroom and take care of that problem then the rest of the day I am okay. Yeah that may sound perverted but it sure does help me out big time with my non stop emotions and feelings for children. Group therapy is going very well and I am learning alot about myself and other people. Heck in a few months I will be a pro at this. I am starting to accept the bad things that I have done in the past and not feeling like I have to give myself so much crap for it. I screwed up and I will live with that for the rest of my living life. Anyway just wanted to say that I am still alive and that I am not in prison or anything like that. Take care everyone.

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Message 139388 (In Reply to Message 139381)
Jake


Posted by TGoodman on Sep 03, 2004 11:29 PM | Also by TGoodman
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Kansas, Country: United States
Good for you. I am glad to hear that therapy is going well for you. I hope that you continue on this road....it is not a quick fix...it takes time...as I am sure that you already know. I wish you well for the future.

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Message 139393 (In Reply to Message 139381)


Posted by dp1 on Sep 03, 2004 11:53 PM | Also by dp1
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States
Glad things are going well for you.

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Message 139422 (In Reply to Message 139381)


Posted by Silverthorne on Sep 04, 2004 06:53 PM | Also by Silverthorne
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Arizona, Country: United States
Glad to hear your feeling better Jake. Its good to get some outside support like a group so you know your not alone.

Do you feel things as far as attractions are "better" because of some change or because your feeling better? I'm asking because in my experience with life is going great my problem isn't much of a problem. But when other things start to get me down the problem seems to "show up" as well (thus magnifying everything).

Silverthorne

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Message 139431 (In Reply to Message 139422)


Posted by JakeLF on Sep 05, 2004 02:01 AM | Also by JakeLF
Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States
In general I am attracted to children and am a pedophile and the feelings are pretty much there no matter if I am happy or if I am sad or going through stress. Its just that now I refrain from acting on those feelings that I had in the past that so called made me go out and molest children. I now know the impacts of what I have done to my victims and I don't want that to continue on at all. The attraction will alawys be there, the fantasies will always be there, but the desire to act on those desires is not there. So in the end the feelings are always there no matter my stress levels.

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Message 139544 (In Reply to Message 139381)
amonia capsules


Posted by poetsdreamscape on Sep 09, 2004 12:33 AM | Also by poetsdreamscape
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States
Yes the feelings for children do surface when I am in a public place but they dont stay around as long. I have found that when I am aroused in public by a child to escape to the bathroom and take care of that problem then the rest of the day I am okay.

Masturbating in a public place is not the answer. Masturbation in itself will not cure your ill's. You should talk to your therapist about amonia capsules and even more so you shouldnt be in a mall or anywhere children congegate.I am glad you are starting to feel better about yourself but to be hinest you have along way to go. If you havent told your therapist about the mastubating part you need to do so right away. Mastubation continues your fantasy and isn't the answer but its better then molesting a child. What will happen if you dont have a place to masturbate?You need to work on the stop thought process and amonia capsules will help you with that and you cant be arrested for use those as you can for masturbating in a public place.

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Message 139594 (In Reply to Message 139544)


Posted by Silverthorne on Sep 09, 2004 11:34 PM | Also by Silverthorne
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Arizona, Country: United States
I have posted in the past that I've had alot of success with the Ammonia and MAC work and do advocate it. Try it Jake see what happens. You seem to really want to control your thoughts you'd be a good candidate for MAC work.

Silverthorne

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Message 139646 (In Reply to Message 139594)


Posted by swla on Sep 11, 2004 07:33 AM | Also by swla
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Missouri, Country: United States
I don't care if you take a sledgehammer to the side of your skull to reinforce pain with those bad thoughts. You have to take the bad fantasies and replace them with healthy fantasies. Age appropiate, non-objectifying, consenting fantasy. If that is not what turns you on, then no fantasies at all. Reconnecting bad thoughts with pain instead of good feelings is ok in the short term to, should I say, "wake you up." I have much more tolerance for pain as I grow older. But if you were to fight thoughts with thoughs, doesn't that make more sense? Before I learned what a Thought Stopper was, I would take the most horrible image I knew of and think of that instead. My image was that of those in the Nazi death camps, and the horrible conditions they were forced to live in. And knowing that all of the ones who were killed and... Get my point? Next time you have a bad thought, pop that rubberband, every time you feel that sting, think of somewhere you wouldn't want to be, and everything else associated with being there. Prison is even a good example. Hope this helps. Lemme/us know.

swla

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Message 139650 (In Reply to Message 139381)


Posted by swla on Sep 11, 2004 08:39 AM | Also by swla
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Missouri, Country: United States
Oh, and one more question.

What is normal?

Do you mean just those out there that don't have to register? Those who keep secrets about whatever in their lives and torment themselves daily over it? And whatever else that people daily put themselves through because of the stress, small problems that they put too much time into, and whatever else you can think of. If that is normal, then I personally don't want any part of it. I would rather be abnormal, and safe in the fact of what I have learned to better enrich my life, than to be normal. I learn something new each day about myself now. Where I see fault, I try to improve and change my ways. Unlike a lot of normal people. I am able to ask another when I can't answer it myself. I am more humble now than I ever was, if I ever was humble. I used to know everything, and had to have people see it my way as well. If not, I would hold a grudge against that person and that person didn't even know I was. My life was/still is screwy in certain ways. But now, I am more willing than ever to try and change who I was to better myself, for myself, and reap the rewards that come with that change. I used to be normal. Look where it took me. I just love so much more being abnormal now.

swla

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Thread


139381, JakeLF, Sep 03, 2004 09:09 PM
      139388, TGoodman, Sep 03, 2004 11:29 PM [Jake]
      139393, dp1, Sep 03, 2004 11:53 PM
      139422, Silverthorne, Sep 04, 2004 06:53 PM
            139431, JakeLF, Sep 05, 2004 02:01 AM
      139544, poetsdreamscape, Sep 09, 2004 12:33 AM [amonia capsules]
            139594, Silverthorne, Sep 09, 2004 11:34 PM
                  139646, swla, Sep 11, 2004 07:33 AM
      139650, swla, Sep 11, 2004 08:39 AM
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