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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Family Disease

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Message 139661 (In Reply to Message 138786)

Posted by swla on Sep 11, 2004 07:36 PM | Also by swla

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Missouri, Country: United States

This brings up an interesting subject about boundaries within the family structure. I know the boundaries allowed in my family were not the greatest. I know how I can guide the boundaries in my future family. What about in my brothers' families? A friends family? How could I hope to let others around me know what they can do to possibly stop any sexual conduct occuring in their home? Or their bad boundaries spreading to a childs friends home? How could we all as a whole, help others out there by what we have learned?

One way I think is that if I am friends with someone where I have an intimate relationship(non-sexual of course) with that family and I have told them of my offensive. And in that relationship, I discuss sometimes my offending behavior, including the bad boundaries I once practiced. This is just some food for thought. As is most of my writings.

Jake, what did your grandmother expect you to gain from that trunk? What do you think you can expect to gain from the contents? Do you think anything in there can really change your attitude/situation as you are in now? If you are just dying to know what is in there, maybe expect some kiddie porn or what not, try having another family member open it first to see if anything in there can of will affect your life. I doubt it, unless he has MicroSoft stock from 1972 stashed away in there.

I don't know how to take this or how to view it

Take it as it is. You know you are not the only one in the world that this has happened to. Why would you expect it not to happen inside your own family? My own family as well. I doubt anyone who has offended, caught or not, has not thought if someone in their own family ever did/thought of the same thing. I know I have before and after. Have in fact. Two of my cousins, who I have been abused by. It's hard to think about someone older because of the different eras they were brought up in. But why is my aunt a spinster? Why did she never marry? Why is she the one that seems seperated from her other brothers and sisters? How she lives her life sounds WAY to familar. It is sad to think about it. We can only move on from the here and now, sharing what we learn for the benefit of others.

swla
copyright 2004

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Message 138786
My Grandafthers Brother

Posted by JakeLF on Aug 15, 2004 09:31 PM | Also by JakeLF

Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

I just learned this morning that my grandfathers brother was a pedophile and was busted on child sex abuse charges. He molested several young children over a time period of 10 years before getting caught with a young boy. It's scarey because that pretty much describes what happend to me and how my life was before I ended up being caught. My grandmother and I sat down this moring for cofee and she told me all about him and said that I have the right to know.

I am in no way making an excuse for what I have done to all the children that I have molested, it just suprises me that someone years and years ago in my family was also a pedophile and attracted to children. I don't know how to take this or how to view it. My grandmother also brought with her in her van, a trunk of things that belonged to him. It has a old lock on it and she said that it was in there attic for years until she had some movers bring it down to give to her. I was suprised that she just didn't throw it away and leave it at that. Now its sitting in my garage and I haven't opened it at all. I am scared to death to open it. I don't know if there is child porn or anything like that in it..

Just when I feel like my life is getting a little bit better something like this hits me and I feel so outta place. I really don't know what to do with the trunk, I am very curious into knowing what is in it. He died when I was in prison so I don't know if he knew that I was also a pedophile too. I am just in a state of shock right now, sorry for ramblin on about this.

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138786, JakeLF, Aug 15, 2004 09:31 PM [My Grandafthers Brother]
139661, swla, Sep 11, 2004 07:36 PM

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Forum: The Other SideThread (Discussion): Family Disease

Message 139661 (In Reply to Message 138786)

Message 138786My Grandafthers Brother

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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Family Disease

Message 138786
My Grandafthers Brother