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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Struggling Part 2

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Message 137288 (In Reply to Message 137264)


Posted by WalkingTheLine on Jul 11, 2004 11:45 PM | Also by WalkingTheLine
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Florida, Country: United States
I understand what you are saying. My example was simply a fantasy of mine from a heterosexual point of view. My point being, if a pedophile or sex offender loved kids as much as I love men and I have the strength to say no then they could too. Alternatives other than breaking the law should be looked at first IMO.


Having met other sex offenders in prison and in therapy, there are many who seem to suffer from a sexual impulse control problem - almost like a starving man on an island who suddenly sees a hamburger, their libido gets so worked up over time that their sense of reason can literally be overriden by their cravings. That's what makes aversive therapy and learning to find a legal, healthy outlet so important in those cases, so that things never get pushed to that point for them. Left unchecked, I think some of them do get to the point where they "can't" say no.

I don't fit into that mold, as I don't have an impulse control problem. Thus, I most certainly /could/ say no. But then the question becomes /should/ I? Before I actually experienced the legal process, my answer was no, and I really don't have any regrets about the choice. I believe very strongly in childrens' equality - not just in sexual matters, but in voting, driving, labor, and every other area of society. If approached by a boy who has feelings for me, whom I have feelings for, the question becomes whether or not we are both willing to risk the consequences of the act. We discussed it at length, decided it was worth it, and proceeded.

Now that I've been /through/ the legal process, of course, I have less rose-colored glasses on about whether or not it's worth it. My family and my partner's family all went through hell on our account, and the effect it would have on them was something we hadn't considered when we made our decision. Now that I truly appreciate the weight of all of that, I can't balance it against even the most intimite bond of sexual contact.

Just because I'm not willing to pay the price anymore, though, doesn't mean that the act is morally or ethically wrong. I don't believe it is, and I believe that the law prohibiting it is as unjust and discriminatory as every other law relegating minors to the status of second-class citizens.

I guess in this case, I agree with you that breaking the law is ineffective and counterproductive. There are other circumstances that would be different - civil disobedience is still the best form of protest, IMO. But forbidden, covert relationships don't fit the profile of civil disobedience because the whole point is to make your voice heard.

Sorry, this is a really long rant and kinda strayed away from the bounds of just responding to your comment. ;) I guess the main thing that I'm trying to convey is that it's hard to "just say no" when the people most involved, you and the child, believe "no" is the wrong answer.

If I were told today that I suffered from diabetes and if I continued to eat sugar I would go blind then guess what? Me and those little pink packets called Sweet N Low would be best buddies all of a sudden, catch my drift?


Doesn't that stuff cause cancer? :)

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Message 137264
WTL


Posted by dp1 on Jul 11, 2004 04:03 AM | Also by dp1
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States

Thread


136765, JakeLF, Jul 01, 2004 12:42 AM [Seeking Help...]
      136768, dp1, Jul 01, 2004 04:00 AM [Jake]
            136828, Silverthorne, Jul 02, 2004 06:08 AM [Thanks DP1- Jake]
            137236, WalkingTheLine, Jul 10, 2004 11:19 PM
                  137264, dp1, Jul 11, 2004 04:03 AM [WTL]
                        137288, WalkingTheLine, Jul 11, 2004 11:45 PM
      136776, myoung, Jul 01, 2004 01:06 PM [Jake jake jake]
      136782, fallenone, Jul 01, 2004 03:34 PM
      137237, WalkingTheLine, Jul 10, 2004 11:37 PM
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