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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Struggling Part 2

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Message 137237 (In Reply to Message 136765)

Posted by WalkingTheLine on Jul 10, 2004 11:37 PM | Also by WalkingTheLine

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Florida, Country: United States

Even though I am attracted to children I have kept my feelings for children at bay and in fantasies and not reality.

My therapist would say that you're rewarding your deviant sexual thoughts with a sexual climax by continuing these fantasies, and that such rewards make it more likely for you to reoffend in the future.

While I'm not so sure I agree on that statement as a unilateral truth, I'm reminded of a great quote from Harry Potter, where Dumbledore says, "It does not do to dwell on dreams... and forget to live." Simply put, if you want to take every step possible to minimize the chance that you ever have sex with a child again, you have to find another sexual outlet. It may not be your preference, but sex is sex - it's going to be pleasurable one way or the other. You might try to find a girl who is willing to do everything possible to make herself appear younger for you, if you do whatever you need to do to make yourself more attractive for her. It's not a perfect solution, but with things the way they are, there really isn't one, and at least it keeps you as a free human being and helps prevent you from doing permanent damage over an impulse control failure.

At the very least, all the time you spend trying to make it work is time that you're too busy to notice the local kids.

I don't have any violent thoughts about children, I have more violent thoughts about what I would do to myself if I ever acted out sexual with a child again.

As kind of a final postscript, I just feel the need to say this - if, God forbid, you do mess up, and you do hurt another child, please don't hurt yourself as well. A life in prison may suck, but at least it's a /life/, and there are ways to be a good, decent and productive human being who makes a difference while you're behind bars. Who knows, maybe you can even talk to another inmate and prevent a future sex offense from occuring, just by being a good example. Once you've relapsed, the damage is already done, and hurting yourself is not going to make your victim's pain any less real - it could potentially even make it worse.

God bless and good luck.

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Message 136765
Seeking Help...

Posted by JakeLF on Jul 01, 2004 12:42 AM | Also by JakeLF

Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

As I said in my prior struggling post I have been struggling with my desires and feelings towards children. I am not like most SO where I don't have an attraction to women or even men, my whole life I have always been drawn to children. I am a pedophile 100%, no ifs or ands about it. In the past I made the fact that I was a pedophile a green light for me to molest children. I don't want that to be the green light anymore and it hasn't been for some time. Even though I am attracted to children I have kept my feelings for children at bay and in fantasies and not reality.

I have met with my therapist almost daily and have told him there are times where I come close but do not do it because I know how it would hurt a child and it would hurt me by relapsing into my old pattern of abuse and I do not want to go there. Yes its extremely hard to go places where children are but I cope and overcome by trying to think of something else or leave when I start thinking about children.

I don't have any violent thoughts about children, I have more violent thoughts about what I would do to myself if I ever acted out sexual with a child again. I want to prevent that and by coming here and getting support and people accepting me even though what I did to my niece is great, its great to have people that can steer me clear from relapsing into the behavior I was once involved in.

I appreciate the few people that said that I should go to a religious place and find sanction there, I really don't see that happening anytime soon. God must think people like me are disgusting and trash. I have violated children's trust and violated them sexually, I don't think god has any room for a sinner like me. Also its nice going to a therapist to discuss my problems, but he says that I am not an exclusive pedophile which I really don't agree with. I think that you can be a pedophile and never act out your desires, am I wrong in this thinking?

Thread

136765, JakeLF, Jul 01, 2004 12:42 AM [Seeking Help...]
      136768, dp1, Jul 01, 2004 04:00 AM [Jake]
            136828, Silverthorne, Jul 02, 2004 06:08 AM [Thanks DP1- Jake]
            137236, WalkingTheLine, Jul 10, 2004 11:19 PM
                  137264, dp1, Jul 11, 2004 04:03 AM [WTL]
                        137288, WalkingTheLine, Jul 11, 2004 11:45 PM
      136776, myoung, Jul 01, 2004 01:06 PM [Jake jake jake]
      136782, fallenone, Jul 01, 2004 03:34 PM
      137237, WalkingTheLine, Jul 10, 2004 11:37 PM

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: The Other SideThread (Discussion): Struggling Part 2

Message 137237 (In Reply to Message 136765)

Message 136765Seeking Help...

Thread

Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Struggling Part 2

Message 136765
Seeking Help...