|
|
Forum: The Other Side
Thread (Discussion): Prison - I was on remand..
Message 136632
Prison Life for a Pedophile
Posted by JakeLF
on Jun 27, 2004 08:28 PM | Also by JakeLF
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Prison for me was a really scarey place to be. I looked back on what maybe my victims may have felt when they were with me sexually and I understood what I did was very bad. I betrayed childrens trust by acting out sexually with them. I had always heard rumors about how sex offenders are treated in prison. I got to witness it up front. Each group of inmates had there own groups, murders, drug pushers and users and all that, gangs and etc. Sex Offenders really didn't hang out together and there weren't any groups I hung out in. I tried to keep my reason for being there very low key. I ended up making something up for the first few weeks I was there just so I wouldn't get harrassed from other inmates.
Then after awhile somehow it got leaked that I was up there for molesting children and that was it. I was the scum on the floor in the prison. I would walk around and guys would run into me on purpose and say watch your back chester and things like that. My cell roomate ended up raping me the first night that it was discovered that I was a pedophile. I was in extreme pain after that happen and all he said was that now I knew how those kids felt. In a way I knew that I really couldn't be angry because more or less I was scum, I had been sent to this place for doing something sexual against young children that cannot give verbal consent to sexual acts. I thought about all the children that I molested over the years and I felt so bad, my gut would hurt when I thought about it.
I was stabbed, beaten a few times and raped so many times that I can't even count the times. Just to get a break from it for awhile I ended up getting into this fight with this pretty femmy guy that was in there just to go to solitare to be protected for a few months. Once I got out it was pretty much the same, inmates don't forget anything. Guards treated me badly as well as the inmates. If I tried to tell anyone I would have made it worse, so I kept quiet. I sat back and thought I deserved everything that happend to me.
I remember my parents visiting me on my 5th year in, the first time in 5 years. They asked me why I did what I did with my niece, I explained that I wanted to have control over her and a part of me found her very attractive. My dad pretty much was disgusted with me and asked how the heck I could find a 7yo girl to be attractive sexually, I just basically responded by saying that I did, which was true. My parents left disgusted and only came back a few months later to tell me that they didn't want anything to do with me ever again, so when I would get out they would give me the key to the storage shack where all my stuff was, but that I would no longer be wanted in the family. It was real hard to take that all in. My parents were telling me this in the visitor center and my mind was elsewhere. I was sitting at the table and another inmate with his wife and two young daughters were visiting. Not even realizing what I was doing I was starring at the guys 5yo daughter and he say that and he came over to me and he started to hit me and started calling me names associated with child molesters. I didn't even realize I was looking at her until I started feeling the pain from his punches.
I am not trying to have anyone feel sorry for me by being in prison and having these things happen to me. In a way I am glad that those things did happen to me, I was let off really easy. I always wished I would of been stabbed in the right place then I would have never worried about anything ever again. I hurt children and there is no forgiving for that, I will always be a bad person for doing that. Nobody wants to forgive a man who has intercourse with a child, its just a really sick act, but yet I did it all the time to children.
I am glad that I was caught, it prevented future children from being molested by me. In the end prison was the best thing that ever happen to me.
PS - Please do not ask what prison I was in, because i am not going to disclose that, thanks
Forum Home
| Top of Thread
Message 136641 (In Reply to Message 136632)
Jake
Posted by dp1
on Jun 27, 2004 11:13 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I just can't imagine disowning a child no matter what crimes were committed. I am saddened by your parent's actions. I hope one day they find it in their hearts to forgive or at least accept and love you for who you are. Unfortunately, you'll never experience the power of unconditional love because of this. Hopefully, you'll learn how to give unconditional love despite their bad example.
There is no excuse for the rapes and beatings you endured while incarcerated. Great, so now the bad behavior continued while you were serving time for the same behavior. It doesn't sound like any rehab was going on there. Know what I mean?
Forum Home
| Top of Thread | Jump To Parent (136632)
Message 136665 (In Reply to Message 136641)
Rape
Posted by Silverthorne
on Jun 28, 2004 06:16 AM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Well as a rape victim yourself (alot more violent then what you did) you are also a victim (lest no one should forget that).
Now that you are out have you considered charging these men who assaulted you? Or sueing the state for failing to protect you in prison? There are many lawsuits like this going on (I've started seeing them crop up) and I'd like to see you do it.
Silverthorne
Forum Home
| Top of Thread | Jump To Parent (136641)
Message 136678 (In Reply to Message 136632)
I Fought Back
Posted by acts2413
on Jun 28, 2004 03:20 PM | Also by acts2413
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: District of Columbia,
Country: United States |
Jake, I was saddened by your prison experience. I was locked up in Ohio. I did not commit the crime I was accused of, but I did the time as if I had and I understand what happened to you.
I on the other hand would not tolerate anyone in the same joint to speak down to me, harass me, or anything else. My twist: the prison I was in got all of the regional newspapers- so as my case worked it's way thru appeals- well- my story was often in the paper. Denying guilt of an offense was tough as well because the general sentiment (a fallacy, nevertheless) is that people dont lie about sex abuse. Well, my counter was that everyone on that side of the fence understood just how the police and prosecutors lie and corrupt the process. Most understood that since judges are elected in Ohio that it is not good politically for any judge/prosecutor to let anyone accused of a sex crime escape; innocent or guilty! All accepted that innocent people were convicted, BUT, somehow they had a hard time accepting that I was one of them because of the nature of the crime. Well, upon closer inquiry, I always found that my biggest critics- although they acknowledged all I've said- had REALLY been guilty of what they were convicted even though they denied it- so because they were truly guilty- then in their minds- everyone else had to be too. I made it clear that I alone was the expert of my case and knew exactly what happened and what didn't and noone in the joint could say for sure what happened. Anyone interested, I shared what really happened and showed the paperwork and proof. Others who just wanted to make trouble- I challenged and them and had to fight. Won most, lost a few. Gained respect. After the first few months, I didn't have any more trouble- at all. In fatc, as the case continued (still on appeal believe it or not), many watched how the story changed in the papers as the prosecutors/police kept spinning the facts. One final thing that worked for me- was as my brothers (anyone convicted is my brother) got to know me and staff saw me work, my lifestyle was different from the story in the papers.
I was accused of abusing two 14y/o boys. Ohio prisons have kids locked up as young as 12. They kept those under 18 in the same housing area, but they were out in population sharing the gym, rec yard, weight rooms, etc. Some had "sugar daddies". The point is I could have easily "continued" the same conduct that I was accused of right there had I been guilty. Yep, prisoners forget little. So, in my 3 years, I never was involved in any "inside scandals". This alone was a testimony against the allegations.
All that said- I fought back. I stood up for myself. The point was noone on that side of the fence was in any better position to harass me (regardless of my innocence) and I didn't stand for it in the first instance. Why didn't you fight back?
Forum Home
| Top of Thread | Jump To Parent (136632)
Message 136687 (In Reply to Message 136678)
Posted by fallenone
on Jun 28, 2004 07:19 PM | Also by fallenone
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Ohio,
Country: United States |
I agree with acts here. Your indiscretions do not nullify nor justify indescretions done to you. I hid the facts at first myself but eventually it had to come out. But in my 3 years of time I had little trouble. I would not let people run me over. ironically you have taken a victim stance typical of someone who has been abused. You are still human despite what the establishment says and don't forget it. Whatever you do, don't let people continue to oppress you or you might break weak and go back to the old way and we both don't want that to happen, right?
F1
Forum Home
| Top of Thread | Jump To Parent (136678)
Message 137033 (In Reply to Message 136687)
Prison is a stupid place
Posted by tryingtosurvive
on Jul 07, 2004 01:20 PM | Also by tryingtosurvive
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Australia |
When I was in prison the other inmates were just idiots .. every individual was a fool ...they had all seen too many Hollywood movies and saw them selves as cred "crims" and tried that supid shit on me ...where by they refused to let me sit at thier table .. They were tottal idiots ..and they ran some idiotic thing that placed me in some ridiculous pecking order. I was quite capable of bringing in a hammer ..make these kiddies piss thier pants but I saw no need to ...I am an innocent man and prison isnt the place where I get my best work done ....
Forum Home
| Top of Thread | Jump To Parent (136687)
Message 137038 (In Reply to Message 137033)
TTS
Posted by dp1
on Jul 07, 2004 02:49 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I am sorry I forgot why you went to prison. Was it a similar situation to what you are experiencing now or something totally different? Can you tell us what the offense was?
Forum Home
| Top of Thread | Jump To Parent (137033)
Message 137126 (In Reply to Message 137038)
I was on remand..
Posted by tryingtosurvive
on Jul 09, 2004 12:58 PM | Also by tryingtosurvive
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Australia |
I was on remand over this wierd rape charge. From the brief the DPP got I was a tottaly gone guy who was under strenous objection to be released on bail. I had gone into this freindless and blind and the arresting detective told me he "just wanted a chat" before I was interviewed charged and taken to prison. I had no lawyer and I trusted the cops, genericaly to interview me, because many of my freinds are ex cops. My then ex girlfriend - now my wife - saw my mug shots in the Sunday Dreadfulls and got my friends and family in tow - my parents paid for a lawer who got my sorry ass bailed. This inspite of the DPP insisting that I should remain in jail.
You DP1, of all people, should be alive to the dynamics here - I was released on 20 K surety and reporting to the local cop shop 3 times a week. That is heavy in this country.
A variation on the bail conditions was agreed between the DPP and my lawyer (quite cheerfully I am told) , I now I report 3 times a week IF I am in town, on my days off, but when I am at work I come and go as I please with no reporting requirements. I can travell anywhere in Australia. The person who decides if I am on company bussiness or not is me and the DPP have forbbiden the coppers to contact my employer. The seargent at the cop shop freaked when he heard this and wanted verification. I had to find the phone number of the DPP for him - I guess I dont fit well on the production line. He has never had to do this before.
So you ask me what was the offence ? I was falsely acussed of rape and a detective that was none too bright,decided to make me a topic of conversation with his colleages and the Sunday Papers at beeroclock on a Friday. This same detective is now posted in the boondocks guarding a hole in the ground .... If my matter goes to trial I relish the prospect of getting him in the dock.
Just since you would get a better picture of the kind of person I am - my Dad is an Honorary Justice .. my brother is a constiutional lawyer - I am an electronic technician who is now doing all sorts of Geophysics stuff. But my bolster against cowboy detectives isnt my articulate nature or the people that happen to be my family. It is the fact that I am tottally innocent and have been the victim of an attack by a nutcase feminist.
Regards
TTS
Forum Home
| Top of Thread | Jump To Parent (137038)
Thread
136632, JakeLF, Jun 27, 2004 08:28 PM [Prison Life for a Pedophile]
136641, dp1, Jun 27, 2004 11:13 PM [Jake]
136665, Silverthorne, Jun 28, 2004 06:16 AM [Rape]
136678, acts2413, Jun 28, 2004 03:20 PM [I Fought Back]
136687, fallenone, Jun 28, 2004 07:19 PM
137033, tryingtosurvive, Jul 07, 2004 01:20 PM [Prison is a stupid place]
137038, dp1, Jul 07, 2004 02:49 PM [TTS]
137126, tryingtosurvive, Jul 09, 2004 12:58 PM [I was on remand..]
Forum Home
| Top of Thread
|
|
|
