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Forum: The Other Side
Thread (Discussion): Prison
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Message 136632
Prison Life for a Pedophile
Posted by JakeLF
on Jun 27, 2004 08:28 PM | Also by JakeLF
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Prison for me was a really scarey place to be. I looked back on what maybe my victims may have felt when they were with me sexually and I understood what I did was very bad. I betrayed childrens trust by acting out sexually with them. I had always heard rumors about how sex offenders are treated in prison. I got to witness it up front. Each group of inmates had there own groups, murders, drug pushers and users and all that, gangs and etc. Sex Offenders really didn't hang out together and there weren't any groups I hung out in. I tried to keep my reason for being there very low key. I ended up making something up for the first few weeks I was there just so I wouldn't get harrassed from other inmates.
Then after awhile somehow it got leaked that I was up there for molesting children and that was it. I was the scum on the floor in the prison. I would walk around and guys would run into me on purpose and say watch your back chester and things like that. My cell roomate ended up raping me the first night that it was discovered that I was a pedophile. I was in extreme pain after that happen and all he said was that now I knew how those kids felt. In a way I knew that I really couldn't be angry because more or less I was scum, I had been sent to this place for doing something sexual against young children that cannot give verbal consent to sexual acts. I thought about all the children that I molested over the years and I felt so bad, my gut would hurt when I thought about it.
I was stabbed, beaten a few times and raped so many times that I can't even count the times. Just to get a break from it for awhile I ended up getting into this fight with this pretty femmy guy that was in there just to go to solitare to be protected for a few months. Once I got out it was pretty much the same, inmates don't forget anything. Guards treated me badly as well as the inmates. If I tried to tell anyone I would have made it worse, so I kept quiet. I sat back and thought I deserved everything that happend to me.
I remember my parents visiting me on my 5th year in, the first time in 5 years. They asked me why I did what I did with my niece, I explained that I wanted to have control over her and a part of me found her very attractive. My dad pretty much was disgusted with me and asked how the heck I could find a 7yo girl to be attractive sexually, I just basically responded by saying that I did, which was true. My parents left disgusted and only came back a few months later to tell me that they didn't want anything to do with me ever again, so when I would get out they would give me the key to the storage shack where all my stuff was, but that I would no longer be wanted in the family. It was real hard to take that all in. My parents were telling me this in the visitor center and my mind was elsewhere. I was sitting at the table and another inmate with his wife and two young daughters were visiting. Not even realizing what I was doing I was starring at the guys 5yo daughter and he say that and he came over to me and he started to hit me and started calling me names associated with child molesters. I didn't even realize I was looking at her until I started feeling the pain from his punches.
I am not trying to have anyone feel sorry for me by being in prison and having these things happen to me. In a way I am glad that those things did happen to me, I was let off really easy. I always wished I would of been stabbed in the right place then I would have never worried about anything ever again. I hurt children and there is no forgiving for that, I will always be a bad person for doing that. Nobody wants to forgive a man who has intercourse with a child, its just a really sick act, but yet I did it all the time to children.
I am glad that I was caught, it prevented future children from being molested by me. In the end prison was the best thing that ever happen to me.
PS - Please do not ask what prison I was in, because i am not going to disclose that, thanks
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Thread
136632, JakeLF, Jun 27, 2004 08:28 PM [Prison Life for a Pedophile]
136641, dp1, Jun 27, 2004 11:13 PM [Jake]
136665, Silverthorne, Jun 28, 2004 06:16 AM [Rape]
136678, acts2413, Jun 28, 2004 03:20 PM [I Fought Back]
136687, fallenone, Jun 28, 2004 07:19 PM
137033, tryingtosurvive, Jul 07, 2004 01:20 PM [Prison is a stupid place]
137038, dp1, Jul 07, 2004 02:49 PM [TTS]
137126, tryingtosurvive, Jul 09, 2004 12:58 PM [I was on remand..]
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