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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Struggling

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Message 136740 (In Reply to Message 136739)

Posted by steve on Jun 29, 2004 09:16 PM | Also by steve

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Virginia, Country: United States

I don't think steve has the type of career that brings him face to face with people who are SO's or RSO's.

Correct, myoung. For those not familiar with my background, I started this site in 1998 because there wasn't a central source of online sex offender registries and I thought some would find such a resource useful, not because I had relevant professional experience. Though I am fairly knowledgeable about sex offenders and sex crimes 6 years later, I don't work with sex offenders or in a field related to sex crimes.

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Message 136739
F1

Posted by myoung on Jun 29, 2004 08:41 PM | Also by myoung

Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Pennsylvania, Country: United States

I don't think steve has the type of career that brings him face to face with people who are SO's or RSO's.  but, kp1 does and has more first hand knowledge about these things.  Reading and understanding what is going on around you is very different than living it and dealing with it on a daily basis.  It's the difference between a theoretical chemist and one who actually works in the lab.  Theoretical chemists read books and calculate the outcomes of experiments on paper based on the thermodynamics they have learned in theory.  Information always works on paper but now try to have it work in the real world like the lab.  Everything sounds nice, in theory.  I'm sure it gets a little sickening after a while when you see the same types of crimes and the same people committing them day after day.  Especially when, on paper, statistics show that this shouldn't be or whatever....DP1 has every right to feel that you are in the wrong here and I find it interesting that she upsets you so.  You don't have a very positive outlook about professional help and it gives the general impression that you have that defeatist, negative, anitestablishment/antiauthority type attitude.  That is nothing but trouble waiting to happen.  It is much easier to talk to another SO and make yourselves feel better by justifying and empathizing with each other.  That is all very comforting I'm sure and always much nicer to hear the things you want to hear vs. what a therapist may need to tell you.  But remember, your mind is your own.  You are in control of it.  You have the ability to get out there and make an effort not to feel isolated.  you have the power not to give up.  Therapy gives you the tools to learn how to not give up and to find methods that work.  The way you are talking is indicative of someone who feels the path of least resistance will get you out of it.  You can't just go to your therapist and vent at each session (that isn't therapy).  You have to learn and work and apply what they teach while you are in their office as well as when you leave.  You are sadly misguided in your understanding of therapy.  There is a cost to everything good that comes.  You put the energy in you will get good product out.  Entropy vs. Enthalpy.  It rules the universe and everything in it.  Simple laws of thermodynamics.  They apply to everything.  If you owned a house do you think you could live in it for your whole life without maintenancing it??  NO.  Do you think you can live in your body without maintenancing it??  Absolutely no.  Without expending some energy (making an effort) things breakdown.  Conceptually it can be applied to anything and everything.  (anyone who has bad judgement, etc).  If you put the energy in (make the effort) to use restraint, derail poor thinking etc. you will get good results instead of a breakdown in your world.  Right now you sound like a justifier, an excuser, a sympathizer.  Comforting and being comforted by other SO's isn't the answer

Thread

136445, JakeLF, Jun 23, 2004 06:40 AM [Its really hard]
      136466, deadmomwalking, Jun 23, 2004 07:29 PM
            136477, myoung, Jun 24, 2004 01:36 AM [it saddens me]
            136528, JakeLF, Jun 25, 2004 04:29 AM [Thanks for the response]
                  136551, myoung, Jun 25, 2004 04:10 PM [Jake]
                  136558, dp1, Jun 25, 2004 11:22 PM [Jake]
      136508, dp1, Jun 24, 2004 01:31 PM
            136688, fallenone, Jun 28, 2004 07:34 PM [Therapy doesn't cut it.]
                  136701, dp1, Jun 29, 2004 02:52 AM [Listen to What you're Saying]
                        136703, steve, Jun 29, 2004 03:17 AM
                              136722, fallenone, Jun 29, 2004 05:10 PM [An unDePendable assessment]
                                    136725, dp1, Jun 29, 2004 06:29 PM [Beautiful]
                                          136728, dp1, Jun 29, 2004 06:49 PM [Friendly Suggestion]
                                                136781, fallenone, Jul 01, 2004 03:21 PM [Get over yourself]
                                          136792, fallenone, Jul 01, 2004 06:27 PM
                                                136854, dp1, Jul 03, 2004 11:17 AM [F1]
                                                      136873, fallenone, Jul 03, 2004 07:45 PM [You're trying too hard]
                                                            136887, dp1, Jul 04, 2004 04:31 AM [F1]
                                                                  137004, fallenone, Jul 06, 2004 11:42 PM [reforming the...]
                                    136739, myoung, Jun 29, 2004 08:41 PM [F1]
                                          136740, steve, Jun 29, 2004 09:16 PM
                                          136742, dp1, Jun 29, 2004 11:49 PM [MYoung]
                                                136747, myoung, Jun 30, 2004 03:53 AM [absolutely dp1]
                                                      136751, dp1, Jun 30, 2004 04:57 AM [MYoung]
                                                            136775, myoung, Jul 01, 2004 12:53 PM [uh huh]
                                          136783, fallenone, Jul 01, 2004 03:54 PM [Et tu, brute?]
      136576, tryingtosurvive, Jun 26, 2004 01:25 PM [Cheer up Mate]
            136581, deadmomwalking, Jun 26, 2004 05:28 PM [JAKE]
                  136620, tryingtosurvive, Jun 27, 2004 01:10 PM [Amen to DMW with some reservations.]
                        136634, dp1, Jun 27, 2004 09:36 PM [TTS]
      136817, nolongerhomocidal, Jul 02, 2004 04:04 AM [what about just talking to your PO]
            136831, dp1, Jul 02, 2004 02:00 PM [NLH]

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Forum: The Other SideThread (Discussion): Struggling

Message 136740 (In Reply to Message 136739)

Message 136739F1

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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Struggling

Message 136739
F1