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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Dealing with Pedophilia

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Message 137298 (In Reply to Message 137242)
Well put

Posted by assumption18 on Jul 12, 2004 01:21 AM | Also by assumption18

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 21 - 29, State: District of Columbia, Country: United States

in many ways.

I do believe however, that in general, Children and Adults do have sexuality, but there are differences.

I do believe a Child's sexuality is vastly different from an adults sexuality.

Breaking of will (bondage), threats (fear), Physical violence (fear/pain), and social / environmental reactions (stress/trauma/fear of rejection) are what cause the damage.

See an abbreviation or acronym, but don't know what it stands for? Consult the Glossary.

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Message 137242

Posted by WalkingTheLine on Jul 11, 2004 12:36 AM | Also by WalkingTheLine

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Florida, Country: United States

<blockquote>I have done alot of research on this - and why Men like you are attracted to children and not Women within your age group. </blockquote>

Okay, I realize that you've had some hard experiences in your past, so I'm going to try to be as gentle as possible in addressing some of what you've said. I hope you don't take what I say as offensive to you, because it's not meant to be at all.

That said:

<blockquote>You have been somehow - Taught/shown/had Exhibitionisim - showing to you - as a child growing up - that you have No Worth [etc.]</blockquote>

I have? I'd have to say that's a fairly false assessment of my history. I had a loving, affectionate mother, and a father that was somewhat inefficient at expressing love, but I never doubted that he loved me, in his own way. Neither instilled a lack of worth in me - quite the contrary, they constantly praised my achievements and told me I could do anything. They had me sent to a college for gifted kids because I exhibited brightness. They supported me through everything I ever did. They even helped me with everything surrounding my sex offense. They weren't perfect, but I never felt worthless or sexually dominated.

<blockquote>Children are not Sexual Beings - yes they have sex organs - but they are far from Sexual</blockquote>

I had sexual thoughts and feelings, about other children and about adults, from the age of nine. Without getting into the graphics of it, I made "self-discoveries" by the age of ten and was able to enjoy them fully. I first had sex with another human being at the age of eleven, and I initiated it. I had one sexual experience with an adult when I was fifteen, and it remains a very pleasurable and happy memory for me, filled with no remorse, regret, or feeling of damage or abuse. Now, of course, you could say that I am a sex offender, and thus could be skewed here - but I have spoken with many, many people of all ages who are not sex offenders, and I can assure you that children /do/ have sexuality.

<blockquote>and your attractions to them -are of Power and release of your own frustrations of not being able to be with society of a Adult male.</blockquote>

This may be true of those sex offenders who use force, but I doubt it fits with the typical child sex offender, and nothing could be farther from the truth for me. Again, trying to keep things to as little graphic detail as possible, my fantasies with boys tend to involve them exercising power over /me/ in some way. Perhaps it's because kids are so disenfranchised in our society, analogous to 19th century slave populations, but something about giving adult authority and a very adult relationship to a young boy is incredibly appealing to me. This is so strong a core of my attraction that it's very possible that, if children were granted equal rights tomorrow, my attraction to them could instantly dissipate.

And for the record, I happen to fit in very well with adult male society.

<blockquote>You can NOT take a Child as a Sexual Being - they have nothing to offer you - but organs - and you destroy every part of their being and soul - as a human - when you take advantage of them. </blockquote>

I would have to strongly disagree with this assertion as well, particularly the idea that children have nothing to offer. I've learned more from a child's counsel than many adults could ever teach me, and that's just in /platonic/ friendships with them, let alone the intimite relationship of a lover. As for "destroying" them, my past victims would not agree with that assessment. At least, the two out of three who are now over eighteen and can associate with me have stated a number of times that our time is among /their/ happiest memories. The third... well, he and I got caught, so I don't suppose it's the fondest memory in the world for him. And it's knowing that I bear the responsibility for what he went through after our discovery that keeps me from entering a new relationship with a boy... "reoffending", as you might call it. While it's illegal, the /potential/ for damage is just too great.

<blockquote>They are your Road Kill - just as if you were to drive your car down a road - and hit an innocent animal on purpose - they have no justice - they just die - after you meet them.</blockquote>

I'm sorry for whatever past experiences have brought this analogy into your heart. But please do some more research, because this is, quite simply, not only the case. If you won't take my word as a sex offender, take my word as a "victim" - the damage doesn't come from the fact that you were a child, it comes from the fact that you were violated.

Thread

135981, JakeLF, Jun 13, 2004 07:37 PM
      136002, dp1, Jun 14, 2004 01:46 AM [Jake]
            136386, JakeLF, Jun 22, 2004 03:17 AM [Coping with Pedophilia]
                  136666, Silverthorne, Jun 28, 2004 06:22 AM [Jake]
      136062, Silverthorne, Jun 15, 2004 07:28 AM
            136091, fallenone, Jun 15, 2004 09:02 PM
      137199, FrustratedMi, Jul 10, 2004 08:04 AM [from a SO's Ex]
            137242, WalkingTheLine, Jul 11, 2004 12:36 AM
                  137298, assumption18, Jul 12, 2004 01:21 AM [Well put]

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Forum: The Other SideThread (Discussion): Dealing with Pedophilia

Message 137298 (In Reply to Message 137242)Well put

Message 137242

Thread

Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Dealing with Pedophilia

Message 137298 (In Reply to Message 137242)
Well put