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Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Dealing with Pedophilia

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Message 136666 (In Reply to Message 136386)
Jake

Posted by Silverthorne on Jun 28, 2004 06:22 AM | Also by Silverthorne

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Arizona, Country: United States

Jake,

I can relate to being a pedophile and having strict attractions to minors (boys in my case). While I've had some gay encounters with adults they aren't at all what I "want" or desire.

I've had years of the therapy your going to enter ( although as a volunteer patient as Ive never acted out ). It can be intensive but I believe it helps.

As a "fixated pedophile" they really focus on the triggers. They know your not going to change so they need to set you up to not fall into the "trap" of a trigger. Since your always going to be attracted to kids they need to equip you with the tools to protect yourself from the temptations.

How far along in therapy are you? I've done some things for myself just to lesson the problems with accidental encounters. Like you said its a 24/7 problem.

1) I throw out the ads in the Sunday paper. The pictures of kids were always tempting.

2) I've mapped the schools in my area and make a point of NOT driving by them. I try to avoid driving at all during the 3-4pm hours when kids are walking home from school.

3) I've quit coaching any sports or visiting friends who have kids.

4) I've used Ammonia capsules for over two years now (aversion MAC work) and have had success with them. It's one of those things that you have to WANT to work for it to be effective.

Those are just a couple quick things to protect myself. While I dont have the strong urges I once had its still with me. Ideally you'll get to the point I'm at where you see an attractive kid, say to yourself "he/she's cute" and move on. The thought of the kid won't linger in your mind.

Silverthorne

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Message 136386
Coping with Pedophilia

Posted by JakeLF on Jun 22, 2004 03:17 AM | Also by JakeLF

Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

It is really hard for me to try and control my sexual urges towards children since they are a pretty much 24/7 feeling that really never goes away. I cope by seeing a therapist and talking about my desires and feelings towards children. I recently came out to my therapist and told him that I have an exclusive attraction towards children and that I have no feelings for adults at all sexually. He has told me that we will work on that but I honestly feel that its really not going away.

I don't look at children as sexual objects as I did years ago when I was molesting children. Molesting my niece and being caught with her was the first time being caught, not the first time being with a child. I yearn to have a closeness with children, mostly on a relationship basis more than anything else, though it would be extremely hard to hold back the sexual feelings I have for children.

As with not going out and molesting again I look at that I am most likely being watched more than I was before. I was around a friend that has given me a 2nd chance and her 3yo daughter was running around nude after getting away from my friends lover, I was in a state of shock because I found myself being aroused by this 3yo girl. I basically got up and told my friend that I had to leave because feelings were overcoming me, she respected that and so I left.

My self control is alot better than in the past where I would find anyway possible to molest that child. For most people in society they would probably think that I should never have been released since I still have feelings for children. People really don't realize that as a pedophile its not something that goes away, they don't try and deal with child molesters in prison, they just lock you up and thats it.. I am trying to deal with it as much as I can with my therapist but that is a slow process.

Its hard for me to offer any advice when I am still struggling with my attraction towards children.

Thread

135981, JakeLF, Jun 13, 2004 07:37 PM
      136002, dp1, Jun 14, 2004 01:46 AM [Jake]
            136386, JakeLF, Jun 22, 2004 03:17 AM [Coping with Pedophilia]
                  136666, Silverthorne, Jun 28, 2004 06:22 AM [Jake]
      136062, Silverthorne, Jun 15, 2004 07:28 AM
            136091, fallenone, Jun 15, 2004 09:02 PM
      137199, FrustratedMi, Jul 10, 2004 08:04 AM [from a SO's Ex]
            137242, WalkingTheLine, Jul 11, 2004 12:36 AM
                  137298, assumption18, Jul 12, 2004 01:21 AM [Well put]

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Forum: The Other SideThread (Discussion): Dealing with Pedophilia

Message 136666 (In Reply to Message 136386)Jake

Message 136386Coping with Pedophilia

Thread

Forum: The Other Side

Thread (Discussion): Dealing with Pedophilia

Message 136666 (In Reply to Message 136386)
Jake

Message 136386
Coping with Pedophilia