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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Where's the Victims?

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Message 174249 (In Reply to Message 174161)

Posted by meli on Mar 04, 2006 02:21 AM | Also by meli

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Tennessee, Country: United States

Personally, I have not seen many victims on this site in any of the forums(atleast not currently active). Most of the posts I have read by posters self-identifying as "victims", are sex offenders and the significant others of sex offenders. Many sexual abuse survivors look for gentle communties where even spoilers (example: abu*e) must be used when using trigger words; where the title of the post must clearly state that a post may be triggering to some. I would think this forum would be really hard if not traumatic on a survivor, unless they were in the latter stages of healing. I am thirty years old and have been in therapy on and off since 13 and still a lot of the minimizing and victim blaming on this forum even gets under my skin.
I think Steve's concept of having Survivors and Offenders on the same forum is brillant. I think it is the lack of survivors vs the over abundance of offenders that creates the abrasive atmosphere; coupled with so many of the offenders clearly still exhibiting lack of empathy and distorted thinking.

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Message 174161
To Valerie

Posted by dp1 on Mar 02, 2006 03:26 PM | Also by dp1

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States

I didn't realize until you brought it to my attention how the tension got so high in the forums all of a sudden. I know for me I naturally began ignoring more and more threads and posts by certain posters as fewer and fewer victims participated. But, what I ignored is that there doesn't seems to be any victims participating anymore. Am I wrong in thinking we have no victims in the general forums anymore? I looked at the list of recent posters and the latest posts and was shocked.

I can tell you from experience that flame wars aren't productive. I also know when the attacks become so vicious I can't tolerate it anymore and I retaliate that usually sends a strong message, but it's not always in the best interests of the victims either. Sitting back taking personal attacks isn't an option. I am at loss as to how to better balance the forums. And before anyone jumps on me in this forum, I have taken personal responsibility for being too RSO supportive. I believe I can improve in that area. We are obviously far too top heavy with RSOs and their supporters. The last thing I need to do is to add to the existing problem. Where do we go from here? Is there anyone else left on this side? Let's face it Val, if the only non-pedo types left participating in the forums is a vigilanti and POs with swat attire and night sticks there's bigger issues going on here that need to be addressed.

Thread

174161, dp1, Mar 02, 2006 03:26 PM [To Valerie]
      174202, Rejected
      174213, mawmaw, Mar 03, 2006 08:22 PM
      174249, meli, Mar 04, 2006 02:21 AM
            174357, Pending Further Review
            174396, Pending Further Review
      174253, LockEmUp, Mar 04, 2006 03:35 AM
            174358, Pending Further Review
      174287, Valerie, Mar 04, 2006 02:53 PM
            174295, Valerie, Mar 04, 2006 04:16 PM
                  174336, Pending Further Review
      174296, cass117, Mar 04, 2006 04:49 PM [perhaps how you respond]
            174384, Pending Further Review
      174302, mawmaw, Mar 04, 2006 07:37 PM
            174342, Pending Further Review
      174393, Pending Further Review
      174431, Pending Further Review
      174441, Pending Further Review

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Where's the Victims?

Message 174249 (In Reply to Message 174161)

Message 174161To Valerie

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Where's the Victims?

Message 174161
To Valerie