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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Privacy, victrims, and risk. Help. Switch to Flat View
Message 173202 (In Reply to Message 173177)
Posted by june5
on Feb 13, 2006 03:17 AM | Also by june5
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Wow, this is a difficult and charged set of questions. Everybody has their own opinion and I'm not sure there is really a right or wrong set of answers. I can only answer on my own experience as a rape victim.
Tell me about the humiliation part of being a victim and tell me about secrets. Are they good for the victim or bad or somewhere in the middle?
I felt humiliated because it is such a personal violation for someone else to be actually inside your body without your consent. It made me feel almost non-human. I felt humilated because at first I felt like it was somehow my fault, like I must be an idiot for this to happen to me. I didn't keep it secret, I went to the police. I don't know if it is good for someone to keep it a secret. It wasn't for me--I felt empowered by prosecuting him. But everyone is different.
Why does a victim seem unapproachable do they now distrust everyone?
I was unapproachable for some time because yes, I did distrust everyone. That went away to a large degree over time. I think I am still more distrustful then most people because I was raped.
How are we obligated to protect his next victim from walking blindly into his trap? How do we balance that with the choices of the current victim?
It is natural to want to stop this guy before he hurts someone else. That is what "tipped the scales" for me in coming forward. I didn't want anyone else to go through what I was going through. I would really abide by the wishes of the victim. The victim probably feels very scared, guily, and distrustful of the world. If the victim is trusting this "secret" with you and doesn't wish for LE to be notified, I would imagine she would be horrified and feel betrayed by maybe one of the few people she feels she can still trust. She was the one who was victimized, I think she is the one to make the decision.
I know some people will not agree with some of the things I say; this is just based on my own experience, I am not trying to debate anyone.
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Message 173177
Posted by Quest
on Feb 12, 2006 09:09 PM | Also by Quest
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Minnesota,
Country: United States |
Thread 173177, Quest, Feb 12, 2006 09:09 PM 173202, june5, Feb 13, 2006 03:17 AM 173281, Quest, Feb 15, 2006 01:15 AM 173282, Quest, Feb 15, 2006 01:23 AM 173338, cass117, Feb 18, 2006 02:54 AM [i will take it on] 173346, june5, Feb 18, 2006 03:36 AM [Quest] 173360, Valerie, Feb 18, 2006 06:05 PM 173226, cass117, Feb 13, 2006 09:21 PM 173348, Quest, Feb 18, 2006 05:07 AM 173390, june5, Feb 19, 2006 02:40 AM [Quest] 173583, Quest, Feb 21, 2006 07:02 PM 173392, cass117, Feb 19, 2006 02:42 AM [thankyou for the response] 173493, rebel51, Feb 20, 2006 01:39 PM 173585, Quest, Feb 21, 2006 07:32 PM 173630, june5, Feb 23, 2006 05:05 AM [Sigh] 173653, meli, Feb 23, 2006 06:18 PM 173713, Quest, Feb 24, 2006 04:21 PM 173679, Quest, Feb 23, 2006 10:48 PM
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