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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Fanally Justice?

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Message 173266 (In Reply to Message 172573)
what strength you have

Posted by cass117 on Feb 14, 2006 03:44 PM | Also by cass117

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 21 - 29, State: North Carolina, Country: United States

i would just like to add a little something here that has bothered me for years.first i want to commend you rabow for what you are doing .i know first hand the demons that plague an incest victim.i think we all know by now that the majority of s.o's are actually people we know well or are family members.this was my case i was brutally raped for the first time at 9yrs old and that continued for 3 long years probably once every 2mths by my older brother. the statute is up on me now but to tell you the truth this is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with .it is so easy for people to say they did the crime make them do the time plus more,wear an ankle bracelet,register ,and keep our kids awayfrom them,please try and understand the dynamics of what it is really like .this is a family member ,i spent so much time wondering why he did it to me and the other time praying he could be NORMAL and you know what sometimes he was .he could be sorry,he could be a brat he could be the loving ,i will stick up for you brother i always wanted.when i heard the antis on this forum i felt sick incest is so complicated and even though i was the victim i still wouldnt want anyone speaking about my brother like he was an animal,please try to understand where i am coming from .i have minimal contact with him but remember with incest you do have good and bad times it is not cut and dry like a stranger raping you .i had guilt ,i lov my brother ,i am angry with my brother but i dont wish for him what would happen if i reported it.these laws i will tell you are not going to make incest victims come forward if anything you will see a decline in these crimes because people are not going to want to ruin the family or see a member of their family go through all this .i firmly believe and i was a member of an incest group that rabow is special .this is not the norm nor will it ever be .the goal should be to keep families together with therapy and possibly some incarciration but not this lifetime sentence we now impose .again i am not trying to argue with anyone i just wanted to tell rabow i am very proud of her and to give another perspective.thankyou all for listening.

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Message 172573

Posted by rabow on Feb 03, 2006 02:17 PM | Also by rabow

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Vermont, Country: United States

I have not been to this site in quite a while.  I have been just trying to live my life and not think about what I have been through.  It hasn't worked.  When I posted my first thread I got such great advice about fighting for justice.  I wasn't sure how to go about doing so.  I recently contacted a women and childrens advocacy agency and she did some leg work for me.  She found out that my father was never charged with molesting me.  He was charged and plead out on molesting my sister.  He got distributing to the delinquency of a minor and served one night in jail and one year probation.  She said with the statute of limitaions laws it might be difficult for me to do anything about it now.  After more research she found that if I was ten or younger in July of 1984 than I can still press charges.  I had just turned ten that year so I fianally have the opportunity to see justice.  She arranged for me to go the the police station today to give my statement and hopefully within a day or so my father will be arrested.  I also found out that my father did not only molest my sister and myself but he also molested three of his sisters while growing up.  This is a definite pattern and I suspect there has been others throughout the years.  My main goal is to get my father on the sex offenders list and to have him admit to what he has done to me.  He did admit to my brother that he did molest me so I have some evidence in case he tries to deny it now.  Part of me feels bad about the thought of putting my father in prison.  He was my father and we were raised to love and respect our parents.  It was very hard for me disown them and to go against the family.  The other part of me says he deserves everything he gets for what he has done to me.  I am 31 years old and I still do not sleep though the night.  My nightmares haunt me both in my sleep and while awake.  I get flashbacks often and find it hard to live a normal life.  My hope is just sticking up for myself and letting him know that it is not ok with me what he has done, will help me sleep better at night.  I'm just not sure how the get over the guilt for putting him in prison.   Wish me luck for I think this is about to become a long bumpy road.

Thread

172573, rabow, Feb 03, 2006 02:17 PM
      172603, Quest, Feb 04, 2006 12:53 AM
            172630, rabow, Feb 04, 2006 03:38 PM
                  172657, dp1, Feb 04, 2006 08:36 PM
                  172869, rebel51, Feb 08, 2006 07:50 AM
                  172909, Quest, Feb 08, 2006 11:37 PM
                        172926, Valerie, Feb 09, 2006 03:26 AM
                              173001, Quest, Feb 10, 2006 03:44 AM [Thank you.]
      172617, dp1, Feb 04, 2006 01:22 PM [Rabow]
      172631, Valerie, Feb 04, 2006 03:40 PM
      173266, cass117, Feb 14, 2006 03:44 PM [what strength you have]
            173619, meli, Feb 22, 2006 10:57 PM
                  174021, cass117, Mar 01, 2006 02:04 AM [i agree]
                        174101, meli, Mar 02, 2006 02:43 AM
                              174158, cass117, Mar 02, 2006 03:05 PM
            173790, mawmaw, Feb 25, 2006 09:15 PM
                  173798, amiallison, Feb 26, 2006 03:16 AM
                        173946, mawmaw, Feb 27, 2006 05:38 PM
                              173971, Valerie, Feb 28, 2006 02:33 AM
                                    174008, amiallison, Feb 28, 2006 11:12 PM
                              174180, mawmaw, Mar 03, 2006 03:00 AM

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Fanally Justice?

Message 173266 (In Reply to Message 172573)what strength you have

Message 172573

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Fanally Justice?

Message 173266 (In Reply to Message 172573)
what strength you have