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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): those of us who don't know our offenders - sisterseekinghelp
Message 167724
Posted by sisterseekinghelp
on Nov 21, 2005 08:57 AM | Also by sisterseekinghelp
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 21 - 29,
State: Ohio,
Country: United States |
My sister is 37 years old, and she just revealed to the family 2 years ago that she was molested by her kindergarten teacher in 1974. the family is devestated. my sister is physically disabled, and in the 1970s the school districts did not what to do with handicapped children. as a result, she was placed in a class with autistic children who did nothing but lay on mats all day. my sister is and was fully competent, and she remembers everything the teacher did to her and the others. it is sad, because almost all of the children abused either cannot remember what happened to them, could not see the teacher because they were blind, are mentally incompetent, or even dead.
I need help finding this man. I am sure that he is retired by now. I can not get any information from the school districts because of the privacy act. how do you find an offender? my sister is sick, and she has already lived beyond her life expectancy. she is such a special person and she deserves justice!
can anyone give me any advice whatsoever? please!
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Message 167781 (In Reply to Message 167724)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on Nov 22, 2005 02:33 AM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
Welcome to the Forum. I feel for you. It will be hard to get justice after all this time, and rarely do things turn out as we would like. I can't help you with information about tracking this man down but I can recommend that you do some reading so that you understand better what it feels like from her point of view. Sometimes family members are more angry and determined to see justice done than the victim. Make sure that whatever you do it is what she wants. At this point the important thing is her piece of mind and her needs. She knows that you love her and believe her. That is the most important thing.
When I was a young teacher, one of my severely handicapped students was molested by one of the people who ran a group home. He molested most of the children in his care and was involved in a pedophile ring, and so brought friends to abuse them as well. Most of these children had severe disabilities - many, including my student, were unable to speak. He said he figured he wasn't doing any harm because they rarely complained! It is hard not to want to inflict grievous bodily harm on someone like that.
I hope that your sister is able to find peace, whatever happens. I'm sure she is a very special person.
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Message 167795 (In Reply to Message 167724)
Posted by rebel51
on Nov 22, 2005 08:44 AM | Also by rebel51
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: California,
Country: United States |
Hello and welcome to the forum.
I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your sister. It is a sad state of affairs when you are not safe even at school.
I would start by going to your local police and telling them what happened. However I bet that it has been too long now and that there is not anything that can be done as far as getting the molester. You can still help your sister though..just be there for her to talk to when she needs to talk. If you feel that she is very disturbed by what happened still then maybe a little therapy is in order. It is amazing how things can still bother you after years and years. Sometimes you just need someone to say that it is "ok" to feel this way or that it is "ok" to react that way, and a trained therapist would know some of the things that your sister needs to hear. I guess that the main thing is just to stay strong for her.
Good luck and God Bless.
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Message 167878 (In Reply to Message 167724)
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 22, 2005 11:15 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I responded in another thread also, but I was thinking, Dateline, Fox, alot of those shows would love to sink their teeth in this...formulate a letter with any and all information you have, bombard every show you can think of..one might hit and they will carry this thru to fruition hopefully, but if he isnt dead, isnt retired, he's still molesting, and the justice you will gain wont be just for your sister...Good luck..
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Message 168972 (In Reply to Message 167878)
exactly val...
Posted by anti
on Dec 08, 2005 06:50 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
but we dont want him to run either.....
what I suggest is finding his location, what he is up to etc, then, go for it, w/ le involved.
anti
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Message 169044 (In Reply to Message 167781)
sisterseekinghelp
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 09, 2005 04:41 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
Welcome to the forum. I want to let you know that i feel for you and your family and the difficulty that you all must be going through right now. Right now your sister is going to need all your love and understanding. And most of all respect on what ever decision she decides to make. What ever you do, don't make her feel like it was her fault. And don't let anyone make her feel like it was her fault either. People who are raped try to block this abuse out for many reasons, they feel it was their fault, they feel threatned because its an authority figure, they feel dirty, there are just so many reasons. The best thing you can do now, is just take a breath, and be there for her and let her go through all the stages that she will go through. ANd help her. If she decideds to pursue a legal issue, if she can, then let that be her decision. I know as a family member, you are probably ready to go after the person with both barrells open, but step back, and think of your sister first. This is just my 2 cents. I hope and pray that your family heals.
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Thread
167724, sisterseekinghelp, Nov 21, 2005 08:57 AM
167781, deadmomwalking, Nov 22, 2005 02:33 AM
169044, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 09, 2005 04:41 PM [sisterseekinghelp]
167795, rebel51, Nov 22, 2005 08:44 AM
167878, Valerie, Nov 22, 2005 11:15 PM
168972, anti, Dec 08, 2005 06:50 PM [exactly val...]
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