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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Education... - anti
Message 167677
Education and knowledge
Posted by anti
on Nov 20, 2005 06:19 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I find in the states I have taught in, that what is most needed is education, parents and teachers really do need a education, you would not think so, but they do.
some parents do not have a clue as to what their children do online, or off line for that matter.
I gave a speach a few weeks ago, and you would be totally amazed at how many parents/teachers were shocked to even learn a fraction of what I began to tell them, I always at the end, try to do a question/answer period, and bring the students back in, it was also quite amazing to the parents/teachers what they kids said.
If we educate our children of the world, and the teachers and parents, we stand a much much better chance of lowering the amount of children that will be enticed online, and molested.
and I really have never seen a group of children that I felt was to young to teach.
just wanted to share this w/ you all.
anti
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Message 167679 (In Reply to Message 167677)
Posted by steve
on Nov 20, 2005 07:24 PM | Also by steve
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Virginia,
Country: United States |
I agree that parents and educators need to be educated about sex crimes and related risks so they can teach children.
I gave a speach a few weeks ago, and you would be totally amazed at how many parents/teachers were shocked to even learn a fraction of what I began to tell them..
No doubt not all readers here are fully educated so it would be beneficial if you were able to share some of the things you cover in your speeches, especially the things parents and teachers are shocked to learn.
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Message 167682 (In Reply to Message 167679)
Well thank you Steve...
Posted by anti
on Nov 20, 2005 08:12 PM | Also by anti
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Well thank you Steve, and yes I keep a list of all things I actually try to cover, sometimes we go over our time limit, but hey its ok..... as long as I am helping someone I do not care.
we were touching on recently how for children to make up their free e mail accts, as in their yahoo profiles.....
it was interesting as actually some of the younger kids knew and exhibited more net safety, then say the older ones, who seemed not to care, we also do a test, which is quite unique....
thank you Steve.
Anti.
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Message 167683 (In Reply to Message 167679)
Steve...
Posted by anti
on Nov 20, 2005 08:20 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
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State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Ooops, were you asking me to post here, to tell your readers what I cover in my speaches? sorry, it looks as though maybe I misunderstood you? If that is what you are asking me to do, let me know, by either a pm here, or a reply post back, and I will have no problem in doing so.
thank you, again.
anti
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Message 167740 (In Reply to Message 167683)
Posted by steve
on Nov 21, 2005 03:25 PM | Also by steve
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Virginia,
Country: United States |
Ooops, were you asking me to post here, to tell your readers what I cover in my speaches?
Yes, exactly. I thought readers would benefit by you sharing some of the information you share in your speeches, especially the types of things that some of the parents and teachers in your audiences aren't aware of.
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Message 167742 (In Reply to Message 167740)
what is talked about in speaches:
Posted by anti
on Nov 21, 2005 04:10 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
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State: N/A,
Country: United States |
thank you Steve, and sorry that I did not understand you, ok here I will talk a bit of what exactly it is I do, and esp at your request, what the teachers and parents talk of, and what they are not knowledgeable on:
I give speaches to ages k- 12....
actually had a few offers to go to a few colleges also, I do kindergarten of homeschoolers, public and prvt schools, I say kind. because so very many kind kids are actually online.
I teach them some basic net safety rules, and I use a form letter in which they and their parents are to both sign, a letter of sorts, where they are saying they will follow the safety rules as talked about in the speach, and if they do so, they get tickets, I give a roll of tickets to the parents and if each child obeys the net safety rules, they get x # of stickers, and x # of total stickers allows their parent(s) to give them whatever treat is agreed on by that parent( I do not get involved there).
the reason for the speaches being done with and w/out the children in the room, esp. for the younger kids, is the graphic nature of what I talk of, e mails chats I read out loud, etc.
say for a example out of 475 parents , there are usually approx. 300 that allow their children to be online in their own room un supervised.
in the question answer part, I have literally had parents tell me that they feel people like "that" ( rso, so, pedophiles, etc) really do not exist online.....
the sad part for those parents is when the kids are called back into the room, and asked if they have ever had a un wanted e mail, or if they ever were e mailed cp( child porn), they answered yes, right in front of those parents.
we also touch base on what kind of free e mail accts are out there, and how not to make a pro, example:
lonelygirl13
bad, obvious idea....
if you have any further questions for me Steve, or anyone here, please let me know, I am sure I will be glad to reply.
there is much much more I do, just dont know how far to go here, w/ no one really questioning me yet.
I thank you Steve though, for your interest.
anti
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Message 167796 (In Reply to Message 167742)
Posted by rebel51
on Nov 22, 2005 08:52 AM | Also by rebel51
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: California,
Country: United States |
Pretend like we are a group of 10 year olds and give us the short version of one of your classes....if possible. :-)
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Message 167821 (In Reply to Message 167796)
rebel, sure no problem.....
Posted by anti
on Nov 22, 2005 05:14 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
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State: N/A,
Country: United States |
( as long as I am not being set up here, lol seriously, fortunatly I do not think I know you well at all, so I will speak my mind and hope for the best), also, let me make it first known to you, and all that I do not ever ever charge for any of this, if a donation is offered at times I accept it, other times I do not....
as I never do it for the money, never.....
simply just to try my best to protect, save and educate as many children as possible.
ok, for a group of 10 yr old, and I assume you are talking public school? approx grade 5-6th ?
actually you chose a good age/grade, as that is actually a group I really work hard with, as at that age they are almost like teens, they think they know it all.
1 pm , a class of 100 10 yr olds.
I first tell them a bit of me , I pass around my flyers, brochures, whatever I have that day or feel comfy having them keep, as dont forget this all goes home to them, in one of my "packets"... and I do ask them to show and share it to their parents.
we , I touch base on basic net safety, I normally start out by asking for a show of hands as how many have been on a computer, then how many have access to one at home, or do they need to go to the library for it....
I then ask what they use it for, homework, researching, games, online chatting, what?
most kids that age tell me this:
homework, neopets, and e mail.
I ask them on papers I have already passed around to write down their e mail acct name, or chat id, etc....
I make sure I tell them only I will see it, and after the speach, all will be discared( and I do that)....
out of approx 100 children rebel, normally of a class that size I only get about 10 that have "safe" accounts.
most of their accounts are as follows:
sweet10yrold
amy11
etc etc, just to give you an idea.
I then ask where the pc is located, most say in their room, w/ internet connection.
I tell them how easy it is for a predator to locate them by their e mail accts, going by their age, sex etc.
I know alot re neopets, as my own daughter many times was e mailed there by online predators, so I do teach how to be net smart even in places as neo pets.
I teach basic security too, as do not ever open any e mail that you do not know the sender....
for reason of viruses, and also so not to open any porn or cp pics.
I ask how many children were ever gotten e mails, pms etc by a stranger who they thought was not their age, approx say out of 100 children, 80 have.
most have not told their parents.
It really angers me , to know and to see how many parents are not educated, and seem not to care.
one girl told me she was going to e mail me becuase this man keeps sending her nude pics of himself, age approx in his 40's, she is too scared to tell her mom.
in situations as these, I do contact the parent(s).
I have to , during school hrs keep the speach for less then 1 hour.
Please, I just dont want to bore you here, if you have any questions I have not touched on, feel free to post to me again and I will reply, or pm me.
I have np revealing what I do.
I do appreciate your interest.
thank you for asking me about this.
anti
ps even w/ this age group, they also do a "test" or me , on online and offline safety, and also, have a agrrement that they sign w/ me and have their parents sign.
a letter from me , to their parents also goes home, explaining what we talked about and a way for the parents to reach me.
anti
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Message 167824 (In Reply to Message 167796)
my kids education with computers
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Nov 22, 2005 05:50 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
i would like to say my children are educated on what sites not to go on, but because i am not rich, and they cant have a pc in their rooms, we have only one pc in the house and that is in one main room. they can't get into it without me unlocking it. and even if they did have their own accounts, which they don't their is a modern devise on most things now. That is called parental settings. I like.. and use if not at home. and there is also the history button, that tells me where everyone who has used my pc has been. So i am confident on where my kids are when online. Because. i am in the same room with them and there is only one account.
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Message 167838 (In Reply to Message 167824)
Mom...
Posted by anti
on Nov 22, 2005 07:31 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
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State: N/A,
Country: United States |
actually, you dont have to be rich to own more then 1 pc, we have a few here, of course I have more then 1 for my online work, and I have 2 others also, but I am surely not rich...
what I meant by starting this thread in "education" was to try to inform the members here of how I go about educating the public, and the children.....
as why Steve, replyed, asking me to give some details, which I gladly have.
It is of course, nonetheless, very good in what you do in your family, as 1 pc, do you mean for all to use? how many in your family?
and going to ck history is not the answer... most kids, by early teen age, know how to get around that.
there are many good programs out there now to use also.
It is good, as I said that you keep your pc in a good location, I take it living area?
my daughter at even age 16, does however have her own pc in her room, but it is not hooked up to my cable(internet), even though I use a router( for other pc's to be hooked up, and for security), she does not have the luxuary of being online in her own room.
glad to see you are being saf ein your childrens pc use.
anti
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Message 167854 (In Reply to Message 167838)
anti
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Nov 22, 2005 08:31 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
well, i must really be poor, because i don't have the money to have but one, thankfully. and i have a 17, 16 and 14 yr old and they know chat rooms are off limits. if you want to educate them about computers, you tell them not to go to chat rooms, and you don't let them have their own accounts and if you do, you set up parental controls, then you don't have to worry about it, but just keep an eye on things.
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Message 167876 (In Reply to Message 167854)
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 22, 2005 11:05 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Anti- from one person to another ...thank you very much for your efforts, your time, your interest in keeping our kids safe...I am sure I can speak for all of us and say thank you from the bottom of our hearts...Val
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Message 167911 (In Reply to Message 167821)
Posted by rebel51
on Nov 23, 2005 09:00 AM | Also by rebel51
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: California,
Country: United States |
That is totally cool! I am glad that you are doing stuff like this. I think that our kids need all the help that they can get and it sounds to me like your program is one of the good ones. I like the fact that you check out thier email names too. That was one that I bet alot of parents did not think of. The one that my grandson chose was so bazarr, but it gave no info and he uses it on everything so I am happy with it...good luck to you and I wish you all success in your lectures.
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Message 167912 (In Reply to Message 167854)
Posted by rebel51
on Nov 23, 2005 09:14 AM | Also by rebel51
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: California,
Country: United States |
my grandson's computer is in his room but my computer is only about 5 feet from his and all I have to do is turn around to see what he is doing on his. He is not allowed to go on ANY site that I have not been on first or his father has first been on. He does go onto a site called "everquest"..he does not understand why he can only go on the site between certain hours and he has to only hang out with certain people and now he calls them his "friends". He will probably feel very betrayed by me when he finds out that his "friends" are actually my brothers and my 2 sons, if he ever finds out. BUT he is happy with the deal of "I will let you play on this site and at this time BUT ONLY on this site and at this time, or NONE at all, so which is it??" He gladly went for it...lol Other people join thier group but they are quickly told that there is an 11 year old in the group so if they cant behave to go find another group...as a whole people respect the fact that there are children, and behave accordingly.
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Message 167954 (In Reply to Message 167911)
ahh, rebel, thank you..
Posted by anti
on Nov 24, 2005 05:15 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
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State: N/A,
Country: United States |
what a sweet post, (reply), I think maybe only nice one I ever got here? lol, seriously, its ok though, I am not here to get brownie points, but again, ty.....
feel free to pm me whenever you would like.
thank you.
anti
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Message 168065 (In Reply to Message 167954)
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 26, 2005 01:35 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
You know what I think would be interesting, is middle and high school seminars that included sex offenders, police, therapist, PO's. Sex crimes the people who commit them, the people who pursue them, the people who treat them. Most kids that age only know what age they have to be in their particular state to be served a drink, I think they should be taught what personal boundaries are and the repercussions for not respecting those and what to do when approached by anyone who would violate them. Just a thought?
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Message 168078 (In Reply to Message 168065)
valerie...
Posted by anti
on Nov 27, 2005 12:46 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
yes, good point, but I am a step ahead of you here, loll (joking), seriously now, so have not to my knowing been here, but po have, etc....... normally when I scheadule something, I try to have more then just myself there.......
but there are many a times it is just me , and believe me time goes fast.........
also as I said I do a questionaire, and it is prvt, and alot of the kids that fill it out will do so anonymonously( did I misspell it? lol)......
and they do report that they have been molested........
sad....
anti
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Message 168080 (In Reply to Message 168065)
ps val.......
Posted by anti
on Nov 27, 2005 12:54 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
believe it or not, the average rso will not want to come to a school or any other place, unless he/she has a reason to, maybe less time in prison? or he /she is doing life and has nothing much left to lose.... other problem is most of them are actually not sorry.......
girl/boy lovers actually feel the child gets hurt when le gets involved, sickos.
anti
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Message 168109 (In Reply to Message 168080)
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 27, 2005 03:24 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
while we are on the topic of educating I found this terriffic site ...I will post some excerpts from there..perhaps they may be of help to some...here is one...
Intrafamilial offenders tend to control their victims more through their
private access and family authority. Acquaintance child molesters, although sometimes
violent, tend to control their victims through the grooming or seduction
process. This process not only gains the victim’s initial cooperation, but also
decreases the likelihood of disclosure and increases the likelihood of ongoing,
repeated access. Acquaintance offenders with a preference for younger victims,
younger than 12, are more likely to also have to spend time seducing the
potential victim’s parents or caretakers to gain their trust and confidence. An
acquaintance molester who uses violence is more likely to be quickly reported to
law enforcement. An acquaintance molester who seduces his victims can sometimes
go unreported for 30 years or more.
http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/publications/NC70.pdf
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Message 168113 (In Reply to Message 168080)
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 27, 2005 03:42 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
another excerpt:
Denial
Usually the first reaction of a child molester to discovery is complete denial. The
offender may act shocked, surprised, or even indignant about an allegation of
sexual activity with children. He may claim to know nothing about it or that he
does not remember. He might admit to an act, but deny the intent was sexual
gratification saying, “Is it a crime to hug a child?” He may imply that his actions
were misunderstood, and a mistake has been made. Relatives, friends, neighbors,
and coworkers may aid his denial. These associates may be uncooperative and
even hinder investigation of the offender. In any case the investigator should
anticipate and not be thrown off by strong initial denial by a suspect.
http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/publications/NC70.pdf
from same link:
Minimization
If the evidence against him rules out total denial, the offender may attempt to
minimize what he has done both in quantity and quality. He might claim that it
happened on one or two isolated occasions or he only touched or caressed the
victim. He may be knowledgeable about the law and admit to acts that he knows
are lesser offenses or misdemeanors. Some molesters minimize their activity by
emphasizing the older age of their victims. Such victims might be referred to as
“teens” rather than children. It is important to recognize that even seemingly
cooperative victims may also minimize the quantity and quality of acts. If a certain
sexual act was performed 30 times, the victim might claim it happened only
5 times, and the offender might claim it happened only once or twice.
and one more from same link:
Justification
Many child molesters, especially preferential molesters, spend their lives attempting
to convince themselves that they are not immoral, sexual deviants, or
criminals. They prefer to believe that they are high-minded, loving individuals
whose behavior is misunderstood or politically incorrect at this time in history.
They refer to themselves as “boy lovers” not child molesters. Plugging into this
justification system is the key to interviewing such offenders.
Rationalization usually involves trying to convince himself or others that the
sexual activity with children was not harmful. Validation usually involves trying
to convince himself or others that the sexual activity with children was beneficial.
Child molesters frequently attempt to justify their behavior to law enforcement.
They might claim that they care for children more than the children’s parents do
and what he does is beneficial to the child. They love to talk about starving, abused
children in third-world countries.
Oh and couldnt leave this out...how many of these can we relate to post on this site ....
Fabrication
Some of the more clever child molesters come up with ingenious stories to
explain their behavior. Many incest offenders claim to be providing sex education
for their children. One father claimed he was teaching his daughter the
difference between a “good touch” and “bad touch.”
These stories work even better for an acquaintance molester who is a professional
such as a clergy member, teacher, doctor, or therapist. One offender, a
doctor, claimed he was conducting research on male-youth prostitution. A
professor claimed he was conducting research on pedophilia and collecting and
distributing child pornography for scientific research. A teacher said that his students
had such a desperate need for attention and affection that they practically
threw themselves at him and misunderstood his affection and response as sexual
advances. A minister claimed he was doing research on adolescent growth. In
another case a nursery-school operator, who had taken and collected thousands
of photographs of young, nude or seminude children in his care, claimed they
were not for sexual purposes; he simply admired the anatomy of children.
Another offender claimed his sadomasochistic photographs of children were part
of a child-discipline program. One offender claimed the children made a sexually
explicit videotape without his knowledge and that he had kept it only to show
their parents. Another offender claimed he was merely keeping the child warm in
his bed on a cold night. A lawyer claimed his child-pornography collection was
part of his legal research. Several offenders have recently claimed they are artists
victimized by censorship and their collections are works of art protected by the
First Amendment. Another offender claimed unwanted child pornography was
sent to his computer, and he kept it because he is a compulsive pack rat. One
offender claimed he had child pornography not because of a sexual interest, but
because he liked to collect “forbidden material.” Investigators and prosecutors
must be prepared to confront such stories and attempt to disprove them. Finding
child pornography, child erotica, and other collateral evidence in the possession
of the offender and determining the context in which it was produced, obtained,
maintained, and used are the most effective ways to do this.
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Message 168147 (In Reply to Message 168113)
yes val..
Posted by anti
on Nov 28, 2005 08:35 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I do so fully agree with you here on this.. so very true
anti
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Message 168193 (In Reply to Message 168109)
ahh
Posted by anti
on Nov 29, 2005 12:25 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
yes, as I have argued this point till blue in the face with soo many others, soo many pedos will claim that all or most all of abuse comes from a immediate family member, not true, look at fla, how many kids were abducted and killed, yes val, missingkids, ncmec.........
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Message 168256 (In Reply to Message 168078)
Posted by dp1
on Nov 30, 2005 12:26 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
and they do report that they have been molested........
Do you encourage the children to report the crimes?
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Message 168274 (In Reply to Message 167824)
momhelping
Posted by myoung
on Nov 30, 2005 07:55 AM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
just don't forget to check cookies when your kids erase the history on you and you don't see anything listed anymore. It's a good thing to lock the settings so they can't erase cookies and history if you have that capability. You can always do a deeper harddrive search if you need to though. I've done that just to check...hehe I'm the "evil" parent who stays ahead of them in terms of their pc smarts. They often know more than we so you have to stay ahead of the game and learn how to dig deep into your harddrvie to find ghost files, recent logins, etc. You can erase a history easily but there is always a trace of it somewhere.
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Message 168275 (In Reply to Message 167912)
pc anywhere
Posted by myoung
on Nov 30, 2005 07:59 AM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
you can always network your in home pc's as well. Then, you can use pc anywhere and actually see what the other person is doing on their computer. It's a similar setup to what most corporations have to monitor pc use among employees. It's cheap and easy to use. I networked my daughters computer to my pc but I denied her internet access anyway....again...I'm just the evil one. She's 17 and I don't allow her internet access. Nothing good ever comes of it when they have too much access
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Message 168316 (In Reply to Message 168256)
To dp:
Posted by anti
on Nov 30, 2005 09:21 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
omg yes, for sure, I fully encourage it!! for them to reprt anything/everything.... if it be someone online sending them unwanted materials, or someone actually molesting, fondeling etc them......
they leave with a list from me , my contact info, and many others.......
anti
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Message 168343 (In Reply to Message 168256)
Posted by PVulcan
on Dec 01, 2005 02:37 AM | Also by PVulcan
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Anti, are the disclosures coming on anonymous evaluations only? Or person to person also? And , are you a mandated reported? I'm sure you would make the report based on your morals, but are you legally bound also?
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Message 168372 (In Reply to Message 168113)
valerie
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 01, 2005 03:15 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
There are also members of the offendres family that will feel the same feelings, ie. the offenders spouse. my mother is very upset with me.. its like she knows without a shadow of a doubt that he did what he did, he admitted to it, but at the same time, she turned her back on her favorite grandchild and sided with him. thus also betraying me when she asked me in court if i was ok, while she sat beside the offender. i am sincerely glad that my best friend got tied up upstairs in another court room with her nephew's guardianship, and my other friend was at the hospital with her mother for her mother's surgery, because they would have jumped over me, and got to my mom. It made them so mad. But i am used to this. And her vindictiveness. It is time for me to order senior invitations for my daughter. I don't even know if i should send her and my brother's and niece one. i don't epect them to come and neither does she. So im trying to decide on that at the moment
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Message 168373 (In Reply to Message 168274)
myyoung
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 01, 2005 03:21 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
i am way ahead of you. LOL!!!!
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Message 168385 (In Reply to Message 168316)
Posted by dp1
on Dec 01, 2005 04:29 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Thanks Anti. I also talk at schools once in a while, but I don't have the experience you do. I'd love to hear more about your lectures when you get some time. It's also a great topic to post about; hopefully it will help motivate others to volunteer their services at their local schools.
Have you thought about teaming up with self defense classes in your area? My karate instructor is always looking for better ways to present self defense techniques....just a thought.
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Message 168388 (In Reply to Message 167677)
Posted by dp1
on Dec 01, 2005 05:08 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
If we educate our children of the world, and the teachers and parents, we stand a much much better chance of lowering the amount of children that will be enticed online, and molested.
True. However, I'm thinking more adults need to be educated and learn effective ways to protect their children. RSOs are out there dating women. What should these women do to protect their children? What should a young women do if she finds herself falling in love with a RSO and gets pregnant? This is real life stuff going on and how reoffenses can occur. How can these very serious issues be addressed?
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Message 168404 (In Reply to Message 168275)
Posted by rebel51
on Dec 01, 2005 06:25 PM | Also by rebel51
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: California,
Country: United States |
That would be great..I think that I will have my son network my grandson's and my computer..that would be so much better than me standing behind him quietly trying to be sneaky to see what he is up too. lol...I trust him but I also have to keep checking just in case I am wrong.
That is a great idea.
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Message 168429 (In Reply to Message 168385)
dp
Posted by anti
on Dec 02, 2005 03:10 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
thank you, and yes that has been my thought here, but I am actually moving, and when I do, I will do that, as I used to, ( re the karate/self defense deal), and ty, I always will make time for you to talk re this, np there......
its good to know you do the same, really.....
bad thing is we dont want people doing this w/out exp.......
anti
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Message 168430 (In Reply to Message 168343)
re...
Posted by anti
on Dec 02, 2005 03:12 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
some are anonymous , but most actually are not......
and yes I can do this, legaly.......
and I do not work on any of these reports myself though, this is totally seperate from the actual work I do, I send anything I feel, to proper authorities.........
anti
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Message 168431 (In Reply to Message 168388)
dp, soo correct:
Posted by anti
on Dec 02, 2005 03:14 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
you are right, and I touch on this alot, esp w/ the older kids.
and yes re parents and teachers too......
itis very complex and believe me I dont take any of my speaches lightly.
It takes me hrs and days sometimes just to prepare for 1 speach.
anti
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Message 168434 (In Reply to Message 168431)
my 2 cents
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 02, 2005 04:22 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
it seems to me that to many parents rely on the teachers to teach their children not only school matters, but personal matters as well. that is why parents aren't stepping up to the plate and dealing with such matters theirselves. I for one, would be much more comfortable, knowing that i have talked to my children, than rely on a teacher to discuss this. They have their plates full as it is. Here in ky. the parents have to sign permission slips for their children to even be able to get on a computer at school, but it also says that it is not possible for the teachers to keep an eye on them, as they are still teaching classes and there are only a certain amount of computers that each child can use. So educating teachers won't exactly help, seeing how they aren't even in the same room as the children.
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Message 168461 (In Reply to Message 168434)
yes, but......
Posted by anti
on Dec 02, 2005 10:05 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I of course would agree w/ you, in a ideal world, which we are unfortunatly not living in a perfect world, and not all teachers (if any?) are exp in what I am.........
just as other prof. come to schools to give speaches and lectures, I do.....
yes as I said I do agree w/ you, as it is a parents place, but its not always so..... and I have the knowledge, and its why I am here, just 1 of the reasons..........
anti
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Message 168552 (In Reply to Message 168461)
just a question
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 04, 2005 01:32 AM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
do you have a parents permission to talk to their children about this? i know here in my childrens school, they have to have permission to have any kind of assembly, wheather it be a person who talks about animals, a preacher, etc. Just curious. Maybe the parent may like to attend, is the reason i ask.
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Message 168590 (In Reply to Message 168552)
Posted by PVulcan
on Dec 04, 2005 09:20 PM | Also by PVulcan
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Schools in the usa have particular cirriculams that cover a multitude of things besides abc's. For example, every school(middel, jr, and high school) that recieves government funding is mandated by law to discuss Sexual Harassment and include it in the student handbook. Every school district has a Title IX coordinator. In Wa state we also have an Anti-Bully law which is included in the sexual harassment trainings. Permission slips do not go home in my area for these discussions. I have seen notices that let parents know of the upcoming discussions in some school districts, but they are not permission slips. If a parent doesnt want their child hearing about this, they can choose to have them taken out of the class. It's good information for kids to have, and it's a great lead in for when they get into highschool to talk about boundaries, personal safety and such.
In High schools part of the learning agenda is dating violence, personal safety, healthy relationships, std's and life skill type things. Any parent is welcomed to sit in on any class at any time on any subject.
In my County we have a Protocol that addresses 'child disclosures' and is quite entailed. People that do this type of work in schools are mandated reporters and must adhere to the protocol in place, such as: once the disclosure has been made, no more questions! That is left to child interviewers and specialist to deal directly with kids and abuse of any sort!
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Message 168603 (In Reply to Message 168552)
np w/ you asking...
Posted by anti
on Dec 05, 2005 02:11 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
and also, pv thank you for adding....
no the school does not have to send a slip home, what they do to , for me though, is sometimes, when I am requesting that parents of course do come, they send home my papers, and the parents are notified that I will be doing a speach, and they can attend.
pta meetings are different, I do all sorts of meetings.
all are w/in school guidelines.
except when I do hs( homeschoolers) or another org, as girl scouts, etc.
ty, anti
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Message 168651 (In Reply to Message 168603)
anti
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 05, 2005 04:07 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
i guess schools are different. here you have to have the school board permission, as well as the parents permission. i am not saying that what you are doing is wrong, i just think that maybe parents should be aware that you are doing this before you actually do it.
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Message 168700 (In Reply to Message 168651)
you do seem against it....
Posted by anti
on Dec 07, 2005 03:01 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
humm, sorry, but odd....
parents are advised of it, sometimes......
I am NOT teaching sex ed, where it some schools parents have the right to say no, or yes...
I am teaching online and off line safety, as dare for drugs etc, why would any parent not want their child to be educated??
anti.
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Message 168740 (In Reply to Message 168700)
anti
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 07, 2005 03:00 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
i am not saying a parent doesn't want their child to be educated. but maybe they would like to know about it. some parents think that outsiders that they don't know may teach them the wrong stuff and would like to be advised of it, that way they have the knowledge of it and can attend. Is that a problem?
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Message 168828 (In Reply to Message 168740)
mom...
Posted by anti
on Dec 07, 2005 11:27 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
re your reply to me:
first off, parents do not attend all school meetings, when I speak at nights, at the pto ones, yes they do........
I have a set plan just for them and sometimes I dont even let kids in, period...
but for things that are only in school, the school more so then me, would find it quite disturbing to have parents around during school hrs.....
very distracting...
and the lesson plans I go on then, are normally just for the kids.
sometimes letters do go home, w/ all my info, sometimes not at all.........
the area in which I actually live all knows me well enough, and even in some other states and nearby areas.
parents frequent my site, and call me etc, what I am trying to say, is I am known as a big child advocate here.
if you have any other questions for me , please feel free.
anti
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Message 168844 (In Reply to Message 167677)
Posted by Quest
on Dec 08, 2005 01:24 AM | Also by Quest
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Minnesota,
Country: United States |
There is so much to do so much to say.
On NPR this morning and later at the Univ. of MN Professor Owen Jones talked about the possibility that biology and an understanding of psychology through the recent scientific breakthroughs in evolution and genetics could help to prevent crimes and could change the way we write laws.
Scaring kids out of their shoes about perverts is one way but another is to educate them about what they are up against as they enter the world of human sexuality. Let me give you an example.
The most probable predator for a 14 year old girl is the 14 year old boy sitting next to her. Both girl and predator could do well with a little education about the differences in genders in areas of sexuality. Males seduce. But they dont's know why and can choose not to. Girls resist, but they don't know why they should. Understanding the mating strategies of the human male and female can lead to better decisions. Less presure from the boys. Girls that don't give in to peer presure.
For internet predators it would be helpful to young people to know that they are not disimilar to the teen predator professing love in the back seat of his Chevy. It might help them to understand that predators on the net may be as convincing as the boy they are dating. why? Because they aren't all that abnormal. They aren't all that uncommon.
Now the teen predator is not really an unthinking, unfeeling predator. He is a human being doing what those things do. If he doesn't succeed in seducing her he may well fall in love with her and start acting 'human'.
The internet predator? Not the unthinking, unfeeling beast we imagine. Maybe a little lost and confused but he won't be foaming at the mouth. He won't be without charm. This will only make it easier for him to victimize. However he is as clueless as the 14 year old boy.
Do you see how these things are related? Do you see the possibilities in education?
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Message 168845 (In Reply to Message 168740)
Posted by PVulcan
on Dec 08, 2005 01:41 AM | Also by PVulcan
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I can't remember the ages of your children, but, Safeco Insurance puts out a free video on Cyber Safety and some interactive type brochures. They're great for younger kids say between 6-12.
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Message 168854 (In Reply to Message 168828)
anti
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Dec 08, 2005 02:16 AM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
then i pity those schools, because the schools here welcome the parents, and we are allowed to go in, so long as we sign in and have a id on. and we aren't concidered in the way, as a matter of fact it is concidered Responsible parenting and being involved with our kids
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Thread
167677, anti, Nov 20, 2005 06:19 PM [Education and knowledge]
167679, steve, Nov 20, 2005 07:24 PM
167682, anti, Nov 20, 2005 08:12 PM [Well thank you Steve...]
167896, Rejected
167683, anti, Nov 20, 2005 08:20 PM [Steve...]
167740, steve, Nov 21, 2005 03:25 PM
167742, anti, Nov 21, 2005 04:10 PM [what is talked about in speaches:]
167796, rebel51, Nov 22, 2005 08:52 AM
167821, anti, Nov 22, 2005 05:14 PM [rebel, sure no problem.....]
167911, rebel51, Nov 23, 2005 09:00 AM
167954, anti, Nov 24, 2005 05:15 AM [ahh, rebel, thank you..]
168065, Valerie, Nov 26, 2005 01:35 PM
168078, anti, Nov 27, 2005 12:46 AM [valerie...]
168256, dp1, Nov 30, 2005 12:26 AM
168316, anti, Nov 30, 2005 09:21 PM [To dp:]
168385, dp1, Dec 01, 2005 04:29 PM
168429, anti, Dec 02, 2005 03:10 PM [dp]
168343, PVulcan, Dec 01, 2005 02:37 AM
168430, anti, Dec 02, 2005 03:12 PM [re...]
168080, anti, Nov 27, 2005 12:54 AM [ps val.......]
168109, Valerie, Nov 27, 2005 03:24 PM
168193, anti, Nov 29, 2005 12:25 PM [ahh]
168113, Valerie, Nov 27, 2005 03:42 PM
168147, anti, Nov 28, 2005 08:35 PM [yes val..]
168372, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 01, 2005 03:15 PM [valeri...]
167824, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 22, 2005 05:50 PM [my kids education ...]
167838, anti, Nov 22, 2005 07:31 PM [Mom...]
167854, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 22, 2005 08:31 PM [anti]
167876, Valerie, Nov 22, 2005 11:05 PM
167955, Rejected
167912, rebel51, Nov 23, 2005 09:14 AM
168275, myoung, Nov 30, 2005 07:59 AM [pc anywhere]
168404, rebel51, Dec 01, 2005 06:25 PM
168274, myoung, Nov 30, 2005 07:55 AM [momhelping]
168373, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 01, 2005 03:21 PM [myyoung]
167898, Rejected
168388, dp1, Dec 01, 2005 05:08 PM
168431, anti, Dec 02, 2005 03:14 PM [dp, soo correct:]
168434, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 02, 2005 04:22 PM [my 2 cents]
168461, anti, Dec 02, 2005 10:05 PM [yes, but......]
168552, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 04, 2005 01:32 AM [just a question]
168590, PVulcan, Dec 04, 2005 09:20 PM
168603, anti, Dec 05, 2005 02:11 AM [np w/ you asking...]
168651, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 05, 2005 04:07 PM [anti]
168700, anti, Dec 07, 2005 03:01 AM [you do seem against it....]
168740, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 07, 2005 03:00 PM [anti]
168828, anti, Dec 07, 2005 11:27 PM [mom...]
168854, momhelpingbyherself, Dec 08, 2005 02:16 AM [anti]
168845, PVulcan, Dec 08, 2005 01:41 AM
168701, Rejected
168844, Quest, Dec 08, 2005 01:24 AM
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