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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Are you in contact with your abuser?
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Message 167420 (In Reply to Message 167386)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on Nov 16, 2005 02:26 PM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 50 - 59,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
It would take me pages to tell you how badly abused by "the system" we were. It was as bad or worse than my daughter's abuse. When my daughter first disclosed in hospital the psychiatrist there said it would be better if she disclose the name of the perp to us rather than hospital staff and let the family decide what steps to take, as they would be required to report it to police and that experience could be as or more damaging than the actual abuse. Boy was she right!
In comparison to the nightmare therapists and psychiatrists and lesbian-feminist-incest sisterhood at the shelter she was released to,from the hospital, (because they couldn't keep her safe and there were no long term psychiatric facilities in which to put her) inflicted on her and us, the abuse at the hands of our neighbour fades. It would have been nice to see him go to jail but I think my daughter just tries not to think about it. For myself, I'd campaign first to get the shelter she stayed in shut down and her therapist's license removed. He would come third. Now that she is away from that therapist, is off the pills and no longer in contact with people from the shelter my daughter is doing much better. Still battling her eating disorder but otherwise is finally making sense and moving forward. She has a new therapist who is focussing on the present and future instead of the past and listens to my daughter when she tells her she isn't interested in talking about or trying to remember details of the abuse any more. She is trying to mend relationships with family and friends. She is doing some part-time work and volunteering at a food bank. She is almost back to the girl I used to know. I've missed that girl so much.
If I had to do it all again I would have called upon my brothers (or maybe you Val) and confronted the perp without going to police. Then I would have taken her somewhere where the perp, the police, the therapists, the psychiatrists and "peer counsellors" couldn't get at her and loved and taken care of her without their "help" and tried to help her start a new life.
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Message 167386
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 16, 2005 01:26 AM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 50 - 59,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Thread
166798, Valerie, Nov 07, 2005 06:34 PM
166828, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 07, 2005 08:50 PM [valerie]
166844, Valerie, Nov 08, 2005 12:51 AM
166901, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 08, 2005 01:39 PM [valerie]
166904, joy1234, Nov 08, 2005 01:47 PM
167016, deadmomwalking, Nov 09, 2005 08:21 PM
167063, joy1234, Nov 10, 2005 01:51 PM
167113, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 10, 2005 08:24 PM [joy and deadmomwalking]
167723, sisterseekinghelp, Nov 21, 2005 08:44 AM [he silently disappeared]
167877, Valerie, Nov 22, 2005 11:11 PM
166921, Valerie, Nov 08, 2005 05:20 PM
166982, rebel51, Nov 09, 2005 09:36 AM
167015, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 09, 2005 08:11 PM [valerie]
166960, joy1234, Nov 08, 2005 10:22 PM
167078, PVulcan, Nov 10, 2005 04:36 PM
167264, jenclink, Nov 14, 2005 10:44 AM
167324, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 02:52 PM [jenclink]
167337, steve, Nov 15, 2005 03:43 PM
167386, Valerie, Nov 16, 2005 01:26 AM
167413, rebel51, Nov 16, 2005 10:14 AM
167420, deadmomwalking, Nov 16, 2005 02:26 PM
167421, Rejected
167131, Valerie, Nov 11, 2005 12:46 PM
167247, joy1234, Nov 13, 2005 01:03 PM
167289, deadmomwalking, Nov 15, 2005 03:23 AM
167326, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 02:57 PM [deadmomwalking]
167325, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 02:54 PM [joy]
167244, mawmaw, Nov 13, 2005 07:54 AM
167327, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 03:00 PM [mawmaw]
167510, mawmaw, Nov 17, 2005 09:11 PM
167529, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 18, 2005 02:19 AM [mawmaw]
167617, Valerie, Nov 19, 2005 03:26 PM
170302, FIREFLYBABE, Dec 30, 2005 11:59 PM [Yes, I'm married to him!]
170307, anti, Dec 31, 2005 01:43 AM [re you being the victim?]
170371, Quest, Jan 01, 2006 01:26 AM
170399, dp1, Jan 01, 2006 06:31 PM [Quest]
170420, Quest, Jan 02, 2006 03:22 AM
170427, dp1, Jan 02, 2006 09:01 AM
170460, Quest, Jan 02, 2006 08:24 PM
170713, momhelpingbyherself, Jan 06, 2006 03:09 PM
170442, anti, Jan 02, 2006 05:09 PM [exellent dp, really........]
170461, Quest, Jan 02, 2006 08:30 PM
170488, dp1, Jan 03, 2006 01:51 AM
170505, Quest, Jan 03, 2006 05:25 AM
170711, momhelpingbyherself, Jan 06, 2006 03:05 PM [dp1]
170336, dp1, Dec 31, 2005 01:55 PM
170362, anti, Dec 31, 2005 07:44 PM [dp]
170714, momhelpingbyherself, Jan 06, 2006 03:13 PM
170747, forgive, Jan 06, 2006 10:23 PM
170757, anti, Jan 07, 2006 04:35 AM [to forgive..]
170773, Valerie, Jan 07, 2006 01:52 PM
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