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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Are you in contact with your abuser?
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Message 167289 (In Reply to Message 167247)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on Nov 15, 2005 03:23 AM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 50 - 59,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
Joy
I think this is actually a good topic and one everyone can have something to contribute to from different perspectives. A lot depends on who the abuser is. If it is a family member sometimes it is almost impossible to avoid them, especially if you haven't disclosed the abuse to police. When I was a teenager a cousin's husband (who was like 30 years older) kissed and groped me on my birthday - in front of everyone. He thought it was a big joke but it was really creepy because he had also made suggestive remarks to me when he caught me on my own. It wasn't like I was scarred for life or anything but I really hated him after that and made sure I had something else to do whenever he was invited for dinner. When I was inviting people to my wedding I refused to invite him and my dad and I had a big fight about it. I lost but I pointedly ignored him all evening.
I occasionally run into my daughter's abuser by accident. He lives just around the block. He usually goes red-faced and scuttles away, or if he can manage it he puffs out his chest and cheeks and strides past. Once when he was driving past me he put up a newspaper in front of his face so I couldn't look at him. Another time he almost drove into the ditch when he realized he was alongside me on the highway. I look at him with as much disgust as I can muster. It has been very traumatic for my daughter and she no longer lives in the same town as us. His daughter was one of her best friends, but very vindictive so she has spread a number of lies about my daughter and our family. For example, she told people it was my husband rather than her father who was arrested. Fortunately for us, his daughter is not a very popular girl (my daughter was one of her few friends) and has a reputation for telling stories so it hasn't damaged us very much among people who know us. His wife was my best friend. We haven't spoken since the day he was arrested and ignore each other if we should happen to meet. I can hardly wait until we move. I kept hoping they would but I guess they are going to brazen it out.
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Message 167247
Posted by joy1234
on Nov 13, 2005 01:03 PM | Also by joy1234
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 40 - 49,
State: New York,
Country: United States |
Thread
166798, Valerie, Nov 07, 2005 06:34 PM
166828, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 07, 2005 08:50 PM [valerie]
166844, Valerie, Nov 08, 2005 12:51 AM
166901, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 08, 2005 01:39 PM [valerie]
166904, joy1234, Nov 08, 2005 01:47 PM
167016, deadmomwalking, Nov 09, 2005 08:21 PM
167063, joy1234, Nov 10, 2005 01:51 PM
167113, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 10, 2005 08:24 PM [joy and deadmomwalking]
167723, sisterseekinghelp, Nov 21, 2005 08:44 AM [he silently disappeared]
167877, Valerie, Nov 22, 2005 11:11 PM
166921, Valerie, Nov 08, 2005 05:20 PM
166982, rebel51, Nov 09, 2005 09:36 AM
167015, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 09, 2005 08:11 PM [valerie]
166960, joy1234, Nov 08, 2005 10:22 PM
167078, PVulcan, Nov 10, 2005 04:36 PM
167264, jenclink, Nov 14, 2005 10:44 AM
167324, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 02:52 PM [jenclink]
167337, steve, Nov 15, 2005 03:43 PM
167386, Valerie, Nov 16, 2005 01:26 AM
167413, rebel51, Nov 16, 2005 10:14 AM
167420, deadmomwalking, Nov 16, 2005 02:26 PM
167421, Rejected
167131, Valerie, Nov 11, 2005 12:46 PM
167247, joy1234, Nov 13, 2005 01:03 PM
167289, deadmomwalking, Nov 15, 2005 03:23 AM
167326, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 02:57 PM [deadmomwalking]
167325, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 02:54 PM [joy]
167244, mawmaw, Nov 13, 2005 07:54 AM
167327, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 15, 2005 03:00 PM [mawmaw]
167510, mawmaw, Nov 17, 2005 09:11 PM
167529, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 18, 2005 02:19 AM [mawmaw]
167617, Valerie, Nov 19, 2005 03:26 PM
170302, FIREFLYBABE, Dec 30, 2005 11:59 PM [Yes, I'm married to him!]
170307, anti, Dec 31, 2005 01:43 AM [re you being the victim?]
170371, Quest, Jan 01, 2006 01:26 AM
170399, dp1, Jan 01, 2006 06:31 PM [Quest]
170420, Quest, Jan 02, 2006 03:22 AM
170427, dp1, Jan 02, 2006 09:01 AM
170460, Quest, Jan 02, 2006 08:24 PM
170713, momhelpingbyherself, Jan 06, 2006 03:09 PM
170442, anti, Jan 02, 2006 05:09 PM [exellent dp, really........]
170461, Quest, Jan 02, 2006 08:30 PM
170488, dp1, Jan 03, 2006 01:51 AM
170505, Quest, Jan 03, 2006 05:25 AM
170711, momhelpingbyherself, Jan 06, 2006 03:05 PM [dp1]
170336, dp1, Dec 31, 2005 01:55 PM
170362, anti, Dec 31, 2005 07:44 PM [dp]
170714, momhelpingbyherself, Jan 06, 2006 03:13 PM
170747, forgive, Jan 06, 2006 10:23 PM
170757, anti, Jan 07, 2006 04:35 AM [to forgive..]
170773, Valerie, Jan 07, 2006 01:52 PM
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