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Message 165466 (In Reply to Message 165373)
kids1st

Posted by 1dadof5 on Oct 26, 2005 03:15 AM | Also by 1dadof5

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 40 - 49, State: Indiana, Country: United States

(backwoods, hillbilly family with four boys who are still attached to their mother's umbilical cord! - kinda get the picture?)

Oh my gosh, girl. I SOOOO know what you mean!!! I have an element of my extended family on my mom’s side (her brothers and sisters) that are JUST LIKE THAT. My mom married my dad to get away from them. She is the only one who even had a chance. The rest I have tried to just stay clear of as much as possible. They all get pregnant by 15 and I have one cousin that didn’t even know what an ATM machine was until my wife explained it to him!
Growing up, It was fear of not wanting to be like that which caused me to drive myself despite being sexually abused myself. They still don’t grasp the concept that my wife is a postal inspector, you know, her own career, friends and life and that we both can do our own things and still be married(im away from home a lot). You’re right, the woman is supposed to “serve the man” in their twisted thinking.
You gotta stay away from the temptations when it comes to smoking a joint or having a drink, because all it takes is one slide to get things going backwards. You have to be at the top of your game at all times. Be the one who is in control.

The message we need to get out is that, unfortunately, you even need to check up and keep an eye on family members as they are the single biggest risk to sexually abuse your child.
You can bet when I do have to go to events involving “that” side of the family, Im especially watchful of a certain uncle around my 2 daughters as he has always given me the creeps (he is WAAY to touchy- feely).
Anyway, keep your chin up

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Message 165373

Posted by kids1st on Oct 24, 2005 01:20 PM | Also by kids1st

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 40 - 49, State: Alabama, Country: United States

Yes, I pressed charges, but they were later dropped (just as my Mom had to do). I would like to explain this to everyone, but it will be a super long post and I will need to get my thoughts together. Before anyone can even begin to understand this story, they will need background information on my husband's family (backwoods, hillbilly family with four boys who are still attached to their mother's umbilical cord! - kinda get the picture?)

My husband has one brother who has had 4 failed marriages due to his mother's interference and she is working on his 5th!

He has one brother who has moved away from the family and will have nothing to do with anyone (except for myself and my husband). He won't even talk to his mom anymore because he has one failed marriage due to her interference, and he moved away to keep her out of his current marriage.

My husband has come a long way, and has cut the umbilical cord (finally), but he still has a long way to go. (I guess I am just stubborn and will not give up on him.) (Most people think I should have left long ago.)

Then there is the molester brother. He still lives with Mommy and since their dad's death, they act more like a married couple that mother and son.(????)

And then, there's me! No one in this family likes me (they only tolerate me because I am married to one of them) because I rock the boat. I refuse to be totally dominated by my husband and I refuse to let him abuse my children in the guise of discipline. I talk back (his mother's words because I don't feel I am talking back since he is not my parent and I am grown.) I don't jump when he barks. And the worst offense of mine - I don't take crap from their mother and I have been known to tell her exactly what I think of her!

They grew up in a very abusive atmosphere (with my husband taking the brunt of the abuse) and a mother who didn't have the balls to stand up and protect her children because she had been taught that the man is the head of the household and you don't talk back or disagree with anything he says. (I just can't imagine myself acting like this! Not in this lifetime!)

Anyway, she was told when to go to bed, when she could read (never, because according to him, she had more important things to do), who she could talk to, etc., etc. She allowed him to totally dominate her because she says that is what the Bible tells a woman to do.?. I've never gotten that meaning from the section about the man being head of the household.

Anyway, this is the weirdest family I have ever seen in my life, and I have nothing to do with most of them. I just wanted to give you an idea of what I am dealing with before I tell you the story of my daughter's abuse.

And also, I think that I am having to take baby steps with this for my sake, so please bear with me!

Thread

165021, kids1st, Oct 19, 2005 07:04 PM
      165057, dp1, Oct 20, 2005 02:49 AM
            165073, 1dadof5, Oct 20, 2005 04:30 AM
                  165092, kids1st, Oct 20, 2005 01:50 PM [1dadof5]
            165090, kids1st, Oct 20, 2005 01:44 PM
      165077, youtoo, Oct 20, 2005 05:50 AM
            165089, kids1st, Oct 20, 2005 01:43 PM
      165168, Valerie, Oct 21, 2005 12:20 PM
            165373, kids1st, Oct 24, 2005 01:20 PM
                  165466, 1dadof5, Oct 26, 2005 03:15 AM [kids1st]
                        165467, PVulcan, Oct 26, 2005 03:20 AM
                              165543, 1dadof5, Oct 26, 2005 11:42 PM
                                    165563, myoung, Oct 27, 2005 07:11 AM [dad]
                                          165699, kids1st, Oct 28, 2005 06:12 AM
                                          165715, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 28, 2005 02:27 PM [myyoung]
                                          165767, rebel51, Oct 29, 2005 02:38 PM
                                                165787, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 29, 2005 06:13 PM [rebel51]
                                    165714, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 28, 2005 02:26 PM [1dadof5]
                              165713, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 28, 2005 02:24 PM [PVulcan]
                        165697, kids1st, Oct 28, 2005 06:09 AM
      166410, Valerie, Nov 04, 2005 03:19 AM

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Introduction

Message 165466 (In Reply to Message 165373)kids1st

Message 165373

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Introduction

Message 165466 (In Reply to Message 165373)
kids1st