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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

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Message 165089 (In Reply to Message 165077)

Posted by kids1st on Oct 20, 2005 01:43 PM | Also by kids1st

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 40 - 49, State: Alabama, Country: United States

Therapy is such an important part of the healing process. My mom felt so guilty because she did not know that therapy was necessary for me. Although, when my parents discovered how I had really been affected by what happened, they were so supportive and are to this day.

And yes, I vowed that I would never let anything like that happen to one of my beautiful girls. And when it did, I was absolutely stunned! I thought I was watching them close enough - never left them alone with anyone I didn't know. Getting to know their friends parents and who would be present when they played with friends. All of the things we do to protect our babies!

And then to find out that someone in my husband's family was really the one I had to worry about! I have had to "fight" his whole family in order to keep my children away from him. It has been pure H*ll!!

I appreciate the comments and the concern. I know that somehow, with God's help, and the help of people like you guys, I will survive this and so will my daughter!

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Message 165077

Posted by youtoo on Oct 20, 2005 05:50 AM | Also by youtoo

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 50 - 59, State: Missouri, Country: United States

Hello kids 1st,

Do not beat yourself up for what you may preceive as your failure to protect your child. I hope you can talk to a good therapist  for those like yourself who lived in and through the era of the child does not need therapy if they seem ok, it is better to let them forget. They are now learning that for many the ability to see the signs of abuse in their own children, or close loved ones was stolen, that is the simple way to put it. Many although not all who lived through being abused during that time and even later, then for whatever reason not getting therapy for the abuse, can not see the signs of abuse in others that are close because it means tearing the scab off unhealed wounds. The mind in order to protect gives one blinders so to speak. It is just another of the many long term effects of abuse that are just now being learned. You would be shocked to know of how many mother's with a history of abuse, without therapy as a child, in their pasts have a child who is abused. I will try to find the excacte figures for you however it is very close to 25%.

I am sure like most survivors you vowed that this will never happen to my children,  and when you found out it had you felt like a complete failure as a mother. Just know that the lack of therapy when you where a child more than likely had a direct bearing on why you did not know or see, and that is not your fault, as a child you could not have possibly known how to demand therapy at that time.

Thread

165021, kids1st, Oct 19, 2005 07:04 PM
      165057, dp1, Oct 20, 2005 02:49 AM
            165073, 1dadof5, Oct 20, 2005 04:30 AM
                  165092, kids1st, Oct 20, 2005 01:50 PM [1dadof5]
            165090, kids1st, Oct 20, 2005 01:44 PM
      165077, youtoo, Oct 20, 2005 05:50 AM
            165089, kids1st, Oct 20, 2005 01:43 PM
      165168, Valerie, Oct 21, 2005 12:20 PM
            165373, kids1st, Oct 24, 2005 01:20 PM
                  165466, 1dadof5, Oct 26, 2005 03:15 AM [kids1st]
                        165467, PVulcan, Oct 26, 2005 03:20 AM
                              165543, 1dadof5, Oct 26, 2005 11:42 PM
                                    165563, myoung, Oct 27, 2005 07:11 AM [dad]
                                          165699, kids1st, Oct 28, 2005 06:12 AM
                                          165715, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 28, 2005 02:27 PM [myyoung]
                                          165767, rebel51, Oct 29, 2005 02:38 PM
                                                165787, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 29, 2005 06:13 PM [rebel51]
                                    165714, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 28, 2005 02:26 PM [1dadof5]
                              165713, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 28, 2005 02:24 PM [PVulcan]
                        165697, kids1st, Oct 28, 2005 06:09 AM
      166410, Valerie, Nov 04, 2005 03:19 AM

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Introduction

Message 165089 (In Reply to Message 165077)

Message 165077

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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Introduction