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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Safety in the Victim's Forum

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Message 164957 (In Reply to Message 164955)

Posted by babs on Oct 18, 2005 11:59 PM | Also by babs

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: New Jersey, Country: United States

I agree. I'm new here and I'm still unsure if I'm comfortable posting. I've written a few things and erased them because of the fear of being torn apart like I've read. I've written my story so some of you can get to know me and where I stand, but I've erased that too. I have 4 children and a very busy life, I don't have time for therapy or anything of the sort. The only time I have is after everyone is in bed. I've been looking for somewhere to talk. I don't feel comfy with this being the place to do so. I'm hoping that somehow there can be a private place for victims and survivors. Just my thoughts.

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Message 164955
Replies from RSO's not welcome

Posted by deadmomwalking on Oct 18, 2005 10:15 PM | Also by deadmomwalking

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 50 - 59, State: N/A, Country: Canada

I think if posts like the one Orolan just posted to jcami  (Message 164896 (In Reply to Message 164873), in spite of the the current discussion going on about victims finding RSO's comments offensive, are permitted in this  forum there is no point in having a Victim Forum at all.  The issue is not whether what jcami says in the truth, not the truth or only her perception of the truth.  The issue is that an SO can come into the Victim's Forum, attack, deride, insult, twist the words of a poster and basically accuse them of lying.

My hope was that this Forum could continue without restrictions on the type of users who post, and that we could simply ask people to respectful.  But one post like Orolan's in the Victim's Forum and you might as well forget it.  If I had seen something like that in the Victim's Forum when I had come here, I would have quickly gone elsewhere.  I had enough misery in my life.  Why would I post about the most terrible and harrowing thing that had happened to my family; why would I expose my rawest grief and doubts and guilt if I thought my post could be picked up by some sex criminals, torn apart, mocked and be accused of lying.  I guess, Steve, you have to decide.  I do think it is useful to have a forum where all parties who have an interest in this issue can talk, debate, even fight.  But if you truly want there to be a part of this site where victims and survivors can talk without fear about the things that have torn their lives apart , in safety, then I don't think merely even sticking disclaimers on posts or asking people to be respectful is going to work.  In a way I am glad Orolan posted as he did because it proves my point.  I think this forum should be for Victims, their loved ones and their supporters only.  If an RSO wants to actually help or support a Victim and not just try and make themselves look good or show off their amazing ability to make a poster look like an idiot then they can PM the victim.  When I came here the people who helped me most were people who PM'd me - you know who you are, and I thank you.  Some were other victims - but not all.  If Victims want comments from everybody they can post to the General Forum.

Thread

164955, deadmomwalking, Oct 18, 2005 10:15 PM [Replies from RSO's not welcome]
      164957, babs, Oct 18, 2005 11:59 PM
            164976, dp1, Oct 19, 2005 02:19 AM
            164977, deadmomwalking, Oct 19, 2005 02:30 AM [Babs, let's talk]
                  165010, dp1, Oct 19, 2005 03:40 PM
                  165018, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 19, 2005 05:02 PM [babs and deadmomwalking]
            165017, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 19, 2005 04:58 PM [about orlons comments]
      164961, Valerie, Oct 19, 2005 01:23 AM
            165056, dp1, Oct 20, 2005 02:46 AM
                  165071, 1dadof5, Oct 20, 2005 04:21 AM
                        165081, dp1, Oct 20, 2005 07:51 AM
            165085, steve, Oct 20, 2005 12:13 PM
                  165109, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 20, 2005 03:55 PM [to all]

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Safety in the Victim's Forum

Message 164957 (In Reply to Message 164955)

Message 164955Replies from RSO's not welcome

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Safety in the Victim's Forum

Message 164955
Replies from RSO's not welcome