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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Sex Offenders in Victims Forum

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Message 165970 (In Reply to Message 165907)

Posted by MrTruth on Nov 01, 2005 04:09 AM | Also by MrTruth

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

The mother of a victim comes in and posts statements about how much she hates her ex and there is no way in Hell she is ever going to let her kids have contact with their father. One or more of the children, doesn't matter which one is which in terms of victim, wants to have contact and deeply resents his/her mother's attempts to keep his/her father away. In fact, it becomes such an issue that when the child is on her (includes his) own, she initiates contact with her father and winds up living with him and his new wife. She has forgiven him and is very happy having a relationship with her father again, even if it means her mother cuts her off.

Given that this scenario can take place (and I'm living it), don't you think I have something worthwhile to contribute to this forum when angrymotherof20 comes in and vents about this very situation? Or maybe I was abused and can see both sides of the situation?

I'm not going to bash or put down someone who is looking for some direction, advice, or perspective. I have tons of valuable experience, much of which I wish I didn't have, which can help.

I clearly remember a victim/offender group meeting, about ten offenders where sitting in a room on one side, and in marched seven or eight females, some young, some older, and a mother. The mother was apoplectic that I thought I had something to offer my children, and she grilled me left and right about that. And here I am today, several years later, exactly where I was hoping to be. Nobody stepped in to help my ex (especially not her family) and tell her to consider what the children wanted and to stop putting her needs (clouded by her anger) over theirs.

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Message 165907
why we need to have this to be a victims only forum

Posted by momhelpingbyherself on Oct 31, 2005 05:37 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Kentucky, Country: United States

i was pm and then emailed by a person who had some of her/his (will not state sex due to the sensitivity of the nature of the posts) that honestly needed help. but because i had a post taken from here and to the general forum will not post in victims anymore. Its a shame that this has happened because of one or 2 people. This person is not only a victim but so was their daughter. this person needed to talk ONLY to other VICTIMS. And its a shame that they didn't feel safe enough to do this because of certain people coming in here and taking out certain posts, such as mine, and ripping it apart in general forum. If some So's are truly wanting to help vicitms, as they claim, then please respect them enough to not torture them anymore than what they have been. I know that to some of you, you may think that everyone is against SO's and such. But i Do have a friend that is a RSO and i am only saying this to you so you know that i am not a so called hater. but this person needed someone who could help her. this person's story was very heartbreaking, not only was this person a victim, but this persons daughter was a victim. and because of where she was from, it was mentioned the one time that this person posted was that the state was known for incest. Well that could happen to any state. Not just the one that this person was from. Please, if you have nothing nice to say, stay out of victims, and don't take posts from victims and rip them apart, like orolan did mine. Its not needed. Its getting old, and turning people away. like deadmomwalking, and others. If everyone wants one thing to happen here and that is to help, then that should be respected. Please, stop thinking in terms that everyone hates RSO's, SO's and such, its just sometimes a victim/family of a victim, needs to talk to the same kind of person. Give them time to deal with what they are feeling before they can deal with talking to others who are SO's and such. Please give this concideration, out of respect to yourselves as well as to the whole forum itself.

Thread

164837, deadmomwalking, Oct 17, 2005 04:59 PM [mechanism for blocking offenders from respo...]
      164839, anti, Oct 17, 2005 06:10 PM [exactly...]
            164885, 1dadof5, Oct 18, 2005 05:29 AM
      165861, Silverthorne, Oct 31, 2005 08:17 AM
      165867, Navigatr1, Oct 31, 2005 01:46 PM
            165870, dp1, Oct 31, 2005 02:15 PM
                  165881, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 31, 2005 03:18 PM [victims forum]
                  165907, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 31, 2005 05:37 PM [why we need to have this to ...]
                        165970, MrTruth, Nov 01, 2005 04:09 AM
                              166085, momhelpingbyherself, Nov 01, 2005 05:58 PM [they took the wrong po...]

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Sex Offenders in Victims Forum

Message 165970 (In Reply to Message 165907)

Message 165907why we need to have this to be a victims only forum

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Sex Offenders in Victims Forum

Message 165907
why we need to have this to be a victims only forum