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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Stunned by Indifference
Message 164785
Posted by jcami
on Oct 17, 2005 04:02 AM | Also by jcami
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: New York,
Country: United States |
Hi - I've been gone working on trying to disclose my ex and his hidden pedophile past. To hurry matters along I sent a detailed letter to his work superiors so to speak - he works for a very small newspaper that is owned by 2 major newspapers, one in FL and one in Chicago. I wrote to several executives on each as well as employee/problem type of places they specified for both papers. In them I gave information about him and his pathology and how it was covered up by his family, how long it's been going on, etc.
I challenged my ex to a defamation of character suit as a result of this in the letters as well.
It's almost 2 months and I have not gotten a response.
Any thoughts on this please?
Last week I emailed one of the executives and asked what their
protocol was on addressing these matters. No reply either.
I am stunned.
How can they simply ignore this? .
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Message 164826 (In Reply to Message 164785)
Posted by orolan
on Oct 17, 2005 03:29 PM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
How can they simply ignore this?
Competent executives will typically ignore the vindictive ramblings of ex-wives. If I were your ex I would seek a cease and desist order against you. That way the next letter would land you in jail and perhaps the judge would order you into the counseling you so desperately need.
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Message 164832 (In Reply to Message 164785)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on Oct 17, 2005 04:07 PM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
jcami
You have to realize that people cannot just fire someone based on your say so. Without a police record they have no way of knowing whether or not what you are saying is true or just the ramblings of what Orolan tries to portray you as "a vindictive ex". If you have proof of your ex-husband's criminal behavior you should continue to pressure the police.
Regardless of what you ex may have done there is an important principle here. That is that people are assumed innocent in a court of law until proven guilty. No matter how convinced you are of your husband's guilt there is obviously not enough to convince police. When my daughter's case did not go forward in court, even though I was angry that the perp would not be punished I understood the principle. I myself would not have convicted the man based on the available evidence. Even though I believed my daughter from an objective standpoint there was still a lot of reasonable doubt.
You need to be very careful. If this man's victims, who are adults now, are not interested in pursuing this, there is only so much you can do. I understand your anger but if you have spoken to the victims and they are not interested in pursuing it, if you have spoken to police and they are not interested in pursuing it you have done all you can. There is a ton of injustice in the world and you can't win every battle. Let it go and find another way of helping people.
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Message 164843 (In Reply to Message 164832)
Posted by Pumpkin
on Oct 17, 2005 06:31 PM | Also by Pumpkin
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: North Carolina,
Country: United States |
What was the "available evidence"?
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Message 164851 (In Reply to Message 164843)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on Oct 17, 2005 07:58 PM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
My daughter's case was not closed for lack of evidence.The trial was postposed because my daughter tried to commit suicide and it was decided that the risk to her well-being in continuing the case was not worth it. However, I was doubtful of a successful outcome in any case, regardless of the enthusiasm of the police.
As to what the available evidence was I am not prepared to discuss that on a website as it is possible when my daughter is better she may want to pursue legal action. Also I am not privy to evidence the police had. Several other girls were interviewed.
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Message 164852 (In Reply to Message 164785)
Posted by saintjimmy
on Oct 17, 2005 08:14 PM | Also by saintjimmy
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Michigan,
Country: United States |
Maybe they don't see what in the world his alleged sexual problems have to do with his performance at work. Then again, neither do I.
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Message 164869 (In Reply to Message 164785)
jcami
Posted by dp1
on Oct 18, 2005 02:06 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Why did you write letters to his employers? Does he work around children? What's the connection between his sex offending behavior and his employers? Were you asking them for help to prosecute him or to help him stay away from children?
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Message 164873 (In Reply to Message 164843)
[What was the "available evidence"?]
Posted by jcami
on Oct 18, 2005 03:16 AM | Also by jcami
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: New York,
Country: United States |
The evidence - he and a family member of his whose daughter was raped, etc. admittence to a pedophile timeline for the ex being between 15 and 20 yrs in NY and FL. An arrest x 3 in '79 as well.
The police wrote me this information . The family never cared about any kids outside of their family. except one who they begged not to go to the police. Police didn't think it warrented any further investigation.
There were also websites this year by him soliciting pre-schoolers for poetry. Police didn't think these as a red flag. I told his employer to have him challenge me to a defamation of character suit. Yes he has told me he has gone into schools with his work on occasion.. A lawyer advised me to write truthfully to anyone who might listen in order to change the tide of his pedofile behavior. There are other factors affecting police with members of his family. He could shut me up in court in a second if I was lying with a monetary settelment as well.
As for vindictive ex wife you make me laugh. Children will get my best shot here. When I decide to let go it will be when I choose to, not because I am intimidated by laws and people out to protect a pedophile. Therapy thank God, gave me the tools to not back down from others ignorance. What a sad society can simply dismiss a letter like this as the ex wife gone mad. I suppose that's the best ignorant excuse to not have to get involved. You'd think they might give even a ex vindictive wife the benefit of the doubt under any conditions when there's potential written to harm children by facts listed above.
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Message 164896 (In Reply to Message 164873)
Posted by orolan
on Oct 18, 2005 01:43 PM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
he and a family member of his whose daughter was raped, etc. admittence to a pedophile timeline for the ex being between 15 and 20 yrs in NY and FL. An arrest x 3 in '79 as well.
The police wrote me this information .
Hmmm. Did they tell you how he managed to escape conviction with the deck so stacked against him? Three charges and a corroborated admission of molesting children for 20 years is pretty tough to beat.
...except one who they begged not to go to the police. Police didn't think it warranted any further investigation.
That's odd. Now we have a man who has confessed to police that he spent 20 years molesting kids and has been charged three times with molesting kids and here comes a fourth child and the police don't think it's worth their time to even talk to him? I don't hold most LEOs in very high regard but they aren't THAT stupid. And I'm curious. Where does your marriage to this man fall in this timeline of 20 years of abuse and the past 26 years?
There were also websites this year by him soliciting pre-schoolers for poetry.
You can't be serious. Come on now. Tell us just how many 4 year-olds you know who are proficient Net surfers and write poetry. Most 4 year-olds can't even put their shirt on right side out let alone do a Google search for sites looking for poetry.
I told his employer to have him challenge me to a defamation of character suit.
From the sounds of it you don't have anything he would want so why would he sue? He'd owe the attorney and you wouldn't have the money to pay the judgement. A C&D order would only cost him $150 and you would sit in jail if you violated it. Much more effective;-))
Yes he has told me he has gone into schools with his work on occasion.
You mean your ex still talks to you? Unbelievable!
A lawyer advised me to write truthfully to anyone who might listen in order to change the tide of his pedofile behavior.
Not a very bright one, is he? Be sure you hire him to defend you for violating that C&D order. He'll take GOOD care of you:-P
He could shut me up in court in a second if I was lying with a monetary settelment as well.
A rather disturbing statement. The fact that you are willing to even THINK about the outcome of a suit in which you were lying and the fact that you would quickly shut up for some cash is rather interesting. Makes one wonder if that actually IS what's going on here. Are you hoping he'll pay you to go away?
You'd think they might give even a ex vindictive wife the benefit of the doubt under any conditions when there's potential written to harm children by facts listed above.
Facts? I didn't see any. I saw a bunch of contradictory statements, none of which add up. Why is there no trail of incidents and accusations for the last 26 years? Are you saying he went in to remission for 25 years and now his pedophilia has suddenly reappeared?
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Message 164902 (In Reply to Message 164785)
jcami
Posted by orolan
on Oct 18, 2005 02:30 PM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
My apologies to you for my posts. I am angry because of other things and unfortunately your post struck a raw nerve and I reacted. Whatever my thoughts on the matter it was not my place to voice them in the manner I did and you didn't deserve it.
I'll not post in this thread again.
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Message 164915 (In Reply to Message 164826)
jacami
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Oct 18, 2005 03:33 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
i admire your guts. in my opinion they probably havent responded because of the fact they had a pediophile working for them, so someone actually didn't do any kind of real good security checking on this person. Plus, hey that would be bad publicity, for everyone involved. And they probably are dealing with this privately, so just hang in there. But please understand, I am just a mother of a victim, but sometimes that is more helpful, because they understand and can be a little more compassionate and more broadminded
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Message 164952 (In Reply to Message 164896)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on Oct 18, 2005 08:45 PM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
Orolan,
You have no business stalking victims in this corner and bullying them and attacking their credibility. None of us know who here is telling the truth and who is lying, except for when someone like Jake admits to lying. At least he was honest about that - unlike some.
There are plenty of people here who say some things that are pretty hard to believe, not the least of which are RSO's. I find it pretty hard to believe RSO's claims of incarceration and life-time registry all because a incomplete picture was downloaded onto their computer without their knowledge or they were just helping a kid across the street or they were just checking to make sure their brother's underage girlfriend was OK. The sex offenders that I've known to be convicted were convicted because the evidence was overwhelming. Of course they almost universally deny what they have done - even when there were eyewitnesses to the assault. There are lots of times I would just love to hear what their victims or families or the policemen that arrested them had to say. But I can't. I have no way of knowing whether what they are saying is BS or whether but some stroke of freakish bad luck what they actually happened as it did. So all I can do is take what they say at face value with a large dose of salt. I don't wander into the Other Side forum and mock them and accuse them of lying.
You claim to be on the side of victims - that your real mission is to prevent child sexual abuse. You are full of it. Whether what jcami says is completely real or not
you come into a Victims Forum, bully someone who claims to be a victim and wife of a pedophile and accuse them of lying and vindictiveness. Victims are often victims because they are vulnerable. They have a hard time standing up for themselves. Why would victims post here if they read this and see how people are treated when they come here for support? But I suppose that could be your point all along. Get rid of any safety in the victims forum and then this can be SEXCRIMINALSONLY.COM.
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Message 165016 (In Reply to Message 164952)
deadmomwalking
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Oct 19, 2005 04:54 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
i agreed with you and got angry, as you know how fast and easy i do, but then i read the last one orlon wrote.You know that orlon and i are always arguing and bumping heads, but he apologised, which i nearly fell to the floor and said he would never post in here again. so i was in shock, to say the least. so as much as i say it, i am going to only defend orlon because he did say he was sorry for what he said. He apparently had a bad day that day. And it was a long apology at that. I was in shock
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Message 165561 (In Reply to Message 164902)
Posted by mawmaw
on Oct 27, 2005 05:58 AM | Also by mawmaw
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
Jcami , His employer got the message ! This is a red light and something that unless he works around children that his job doesnt have any legal grounds to out and out fire him if he is doing his job. You can bet your booties that his employer aint foregetting and is probably looking for something to let him go as his job doesnt want trouble and doesnt want to get involved in family/divorce and especially child sex abuse .
Time tells all !!
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Message 165741 (In Reply to Message 164896)
4 yr olds
Posted by anti
on Oct 28, 2005 06:08 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Orlan, why do you do this?
when most of my children were 3-5 , and definitley 4 yrs old, they were reading, and begining to write.
anti
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Message 165743 (In Reply to Message 164852)
you dont?
Posted by anti
on Oct 28, 2005 06:15 PM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
then I take it you dont see why we need to have rso registrys?
well, ok, look, his boss and all the ppl at the job do need to know. for safety, if there was a party, or a bar b q, and there were kids there, can you even think as to what may happen? and this way, if the ppl knew, they can be more cautious.
anti
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Message 166799 (In Reply to Message 164785)
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 07, 2005 06:40 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
This is one of those cases that keep getting ignored and the guy keeps flying under the radar.....jcami....pm Anti on this..
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Thread
164785, jcami, Oct 17, 2005 04:02 AM
164826, orolan, Oct 17, 2005 03:29 PM
164915, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 18, 2005 03:33 PM [jacami]
164832, deadmomwalking, Oct 17, 2005 04:07 PM
164843, Pumpkin, Oct 17, 2005 06:31 PM
164851, deadmomwalking, Oct 17, 2005 07:58 PM
164873, jcami, Oct 18, 2005 03:16 AM [[What was the "available evidence"?]]
164896, orolan, Oct 18, 2005 01:43 PM
164952, deadmomwalking, Oct 18, 2005 08:45 PM
165016, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 19, 2005 04:54 PM [deadmomwalking]
165742, Rejected
165741, anti, Oct 28, 2005 06:08 PM [4 yr olds]
164852, saintjimmy, Oct 17, 2005 08:14 PM
165743, anti, Oct 28, 2005 06:15 PM [you dont?]
164869, dp1, Oct 18, 2005 02:06 AM [jcami]
164902, orolan, Oct 18, 2005 02:30 PM [jcami]
165561, mawmaw, Oct 27, 2005 05:58 AM
166799, Valerie, Nov 07, 2005 06:40 PM
166826, Rejected
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