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Thread (Discussion): My stepdaughter is "in love" with a predator

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Message 162712
My stepdaughter is "in love" with a predator


Posted by gpstepmom on Sep 26, 2005 12:13 PM | Also by gpstepmom
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Ohio, Country: United States
Yesterday my husband and I found out that his 17 year old daughter has been involved with a 32 year old registered sex offender for about 4 months. This guy also has several other non sex crime offenses, such as DUI, drug trafficking, guns/weapons, etc. We are taking all the necessary legal action to have him violated on his parole and arrested, as well as getting restraining orders. We have also changed all of our locks and are getting a security system, since my husband had a verbal confrontation with him on Friday night (when we found him in our house, at which time we though the was 24yo and knew nothing about his criminal background).

My stepdaughter says she is in love with him. She says she knew about all the charges, sex crimes and others, from the beginning. I asked her what he could have possibly said to explain away THREE sex crime convictions that would have made her feel safe with him. He had lame stories for all three, which she bought completely.

How can I possibly get her to see this guy for what he is? Also, she has had problems with school truancy, so she now faces the choice of staying in school and being shunned and tormented by everyone or skipping school and failing out due to the suspension she will get. Her group of friends is friends with this guy, so they will be mad at her for the actions we have taken to get him arrested. The remainder of the school will torment her for being involved with such a known scum bag.

Please help!

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Message 162722 (In Reply to Message 162712)


Posted by dp1 on Sep 26, 2005 02:45 PM | Also by dp1
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States
How can I possibly get her to see this guy for what he is?


By putting your foot down like you did and reporting him. I'm assuming he's not allowed to hang around teeages while on parole as a sex predator, right? Just throw his butt in jail. Period. There's nothing else to discuss. Your actions will speak volumes.

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Message 162723 (In Reply to Message 162712)
Police will do nothing


Posted by gpstepmom on Sep 26, 2005 03:01 PM | Also by gpstepmom
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Ohio, Country: United States
The police may be able to get his parole violated for not living where he is registered, but other than that, they cannot prosecute him for his relationship with her unless she testifies against him.

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Message 162728 (In Reply to Message 162712)


Posted by artie on Sep 26, 2005 03:18 PM | Also by artie
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States
3 convictions and he is realeased to offend again......why?

btw what were his sex crimes?

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Message 162752 (In Reply to Message 162728)


Posted by orolan on Sep 26, 2005 07:57 PM | Also by orolan
Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States
3 convictions and he is realeased to offend again......why?

Not to mention a few more for drugs, guns and something else. Imagine that. A six-time violent felon wandering the streets. Is this Ohio.......or Florida?

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Message 162753 (In Reply to Message 162752)


Posted by gpstepmom on Sep 26, 2005 08:03 PM | Also by gpstepmom
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Ohio, Country: United States
This is Ohio.

Sexual related offenses were rape (pled down to attempted), felonious penetration and one other (I don't have the sheet in front of me.)

He also has 2 counts of "Prohibition, minor under 21" - is that buying alcohol for a minor, or is that another sex-related one?

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Message 162786 (In Reply to Message 162712)


Posted by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime on Sep 27, 2005 03:28 AM | Also by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime
Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States
How can I possibly get her to see this guy for what he is? Also, she has had problems with school truancy, so she now faces the choice of staying in school and being shunned and tormented by everyone or skipping school and failing out due to the suspension she will get.


Sounds like she has other issues. Get her into counseling and address the real issue.

DTCDTT

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Message 162787 (In Reply to Message 162723)


Posted by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime on Sep 27, 2005 03:30 AM | Also by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime
Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States
Find out who his probation officer is and call them yourself. Being in the presence of a minor may or may not be a violation and your stepdaughter's statement may not be necessary.


Good luck.

DTCDTT

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Message 162807 (In Reply to Message 162753)


Posted by dp1 on Sep 27, 2005 01:57 PM | Also by dp1
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States
Have you contacted the parole officer yet? What did he say? You also mentioned in another post that the police may be able to violate him because he isn't living where he says he's living? Huh? Does the parole officer know about his so-called living arraingements? Does he have a prohibition against contact with minors? Also, I'd ask the parole officer for a copy of his parole stipulations. There may be other issues? Does he have a curfew? Alcohol prohibition? Don't rely on the police to do the parole officer's job. The parole officer can't read your mind. Make sure you tell them everything. Do it in writing if you have to.

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Message 162819 (In Reply to Message 162712)


Posted by dp1 on Sep 27, 2005 03:07 PM | Also by dp1
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States
Her group of friends is friends with this guy,


Have you contacted their parents as well?

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Message 162874 (In Reply to Message 162819)


Posted by gpstepmom on Sep 28, 2005 01:33 AM | Also by gpstepmom
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Ohio, Country: United States
Thank you so much for the suggestion of contacting his parole officer. I never would have thought of that.

To answer a question above: yes, the parents of the other kids who have been hanging around with him have been notified. My stepdaughter's mother printed several information packets (about him) and took them to the kids' parents.

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Message 162964 (In Reply to Message 162712)


Posted by rebel51 on Sep 29, 2005 09:21 AM | Also by rebel51
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: California, Country: United States
(when we found him in our house, at which time we though the was 24yo and knew nothing about his criminal background).


Just a quick question...did you approve of him when he was a 24 year old man instead of 32? Also how did you find out the age differences and about the sex offences?

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Message 163069 (In Reply to Message 162964)
to rebel51


Posted by gpstepmom on Sep 30, 2005 02:28 AM | Also by gpstepmom
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Ohio, Country: United States
H*ll no, we did not approve of him as a 24 year old. We "met" him that night when we found all of them at our house. That was Friday night. My husband discovered the truth about him on Sunday morning by doing some Internet searching, which was spurned by her suspicious behavior surrounding us discovering him.

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Message 163085 (In Reply to Message 163069)


Posted by rebel51 on Sep 30, 2005 11:05 AM | Also by rebel51
Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: California, Country: United States
oh, I see...the way it was worded I got the impression that you "knew" your daughter was dateing him and had been told that he was 24 and then somehow found out differently. Sorry.

At 17, it is a hard thing to know what to do with your child and who they are dating. While they are still a kid, they will be an adult within the next 12 months, considered old enough to make thier own decisions and date who they please. I do NOT envy your place as the adults in this situation at all!! Thank goodness I only had boys so I never had to worry about this type of stuff.
I wish you all the luck in the world!

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Message 164178 (In Reply to Message 162786)


Posted by oicu812 on Oct 11, 2005 06:28 PM | Also by oicu812
Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States
i agree with the counseling. but more than that i think that if she was taken to a teenage victims group that would allow her to sit in a few times, she might listen to their perspective. they can probably tell her how the guy's story is bogus and how it 'wack" to be with this guy. she might get to hear some very enlightening stories. at the very least she will get some good info and something to think about.

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Thread


162712, gpstepmom, Sep 26, 2005 12:13 PM [My stepdaughter is "in love" with a predator]
      162722, dp1, Sep 26, 2005 02:45 PM
      162723, gpstepmom, Sep 26, 2005 03:01 PM [Police will do nothing]
            162787, DoTheCrimeDoTheTime, Sep 27, 2005 03:30 AM
      162728, artie, Sep 26, 2005 03:18 PM
            162752, orolan, Sep 26, 2005 07:57 PM
                  162753, gpstepmom, Sep 26, 2005 08:03 PM
                        162807, dp1, Sep 27, 2005 01:57 PM
      162786, DoTheCrimeDoTheTime, Sep 27, 2005 03:28 AM
            164178, oicu812, Oct 11, 2005 06:28 PM
      162819, dp1, Sep 27, 2005 03:07 PM
            162874, gpstepmom, Sep 28, 2005 01:33 AM
      162964, rebel51, Sep 29, 2005 09:21 AM
            163069, gpstepmom, Sep 30, 2005 02:28 AM [to rebel51]
                  163085, rebel51, Sep 30, 2005 11:05 AM
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