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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): No Sex Offenders Allowed - sorry then Orlan...
Message 161759
Victim's Only!
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 01:29 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Would you be interested in posting more often to this forum if NO sex offenders or pedophiles were allowed to post in YOUR thread?
Even if you've been lurking please take the time to sign on and reply. Some of us are interested in reaching out to the silent group of victims we never hear from. We want to know what it will take to help make you feel safe and secure enough to post.
Would it be better to have Victim's only?
We want to hear YOUR voice. YOUR voice is important.
Please, this thread is for you. NO bickering allowed. If you do not like someone's post IGNOR it. EVERYONE'S ideas are equally important. This is my thread and I've decided in this thread VICTIM'S RULE! Period. STAY OUT of this thread if you are not interested in reaching out to victims and supporting them. Thank you for your respect in advance and God bless.
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Message 161760 (In Reply to Message 161759)
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Sep 16, 2005 01:39 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
dp, sounds good, but what about the SO's that were victims first. that is where the problem lies.
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Message 161766 (In Reply to Message 161759)
Posted by artie
on Sep 16, 2005 02:02 PM | Also by artie
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
It is my humble opinion that RSO's and advocates should not be prohibited from posting. It appears to me that Steve et al does a good job at moderating posts.
I think, though, it would be highly acceptable to greatly raise the level of scrutiny of posts by adversarial members for respect to victims.
On the other hand, posts should have a lowered scrutiny for posts initiated just for lashing out by victims or victim advocates.
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Message 161774 (In Reply to Message 161766)
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 03:09 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
It is my humble opinion that RSO's and advocates should not be prohibited from posting.
I agree 100%. I personally enjoy interacting with all. BUT, I am not the voice of those silent victims who are afraid to post because of RSOs/Pedos posting.
Is there a problem with empowering the victim? Why can't the victim's rights have a higher priority than others in specific threads?
I am searching for amicable solutions for all concerned. There is nothing more important than a sex offender working on his victim issues as far as I'm concerned. BUT, if it's my thread and I decide the priorities are MY issues should others respect that in this one case?
Is it impossible for RSOs to stay away from one thread out of the 20,000,000 or so other posts steve has on this entire website? Is steve's website not large enough for all of us to find enough space to vent comfortably?
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Message 161775 (In Reply to Message 161760)
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 03:15 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
dp, sounds good, but what about the SO's that were victims first. that is where the problem lies.
Why would we have a problem respecting SOs with victim issues? Why can't they post in the victim's forum as well with their own thread with their own boundaries.
KMART has the right to sell cookies. That doesn't mean I have to buy cookies every time I go to KMART. I respect the fact that you may want to buy cookies from KMART so I will not complain to the management and try to eliminate every single cookie on the shelf. I will walk past the munchie section and press on.
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Message 161776 (In Reply to Message 161766)
dp1
Posted by myoung
on Sep 16, 2005 03:19 PM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
No, I don't think SO's and RSO's should be prohibited from posting here as many of them feel like victims and/or are victims in one way or another. I do think that they should continue to be moderated as everyone is. There have been times when posts from "the other side" members have offered up a completely different perspective on a topic I would not have considered before. In some cases, their posts allowed me to see some things from their vantage point and gain a better understanding as to why they feel and think the way they do (which isn't ALWAYS as twisted and sinister as some would like us to believe). I think opinions and information from them can be valuable.....not to mention that sometimes, they ask questions of victims we may not have considered.
HOWEVER.....any attacks on victims, no matter how subtle, should be rejected. I think Steve does a fantastic job of catching most of that. There have only been a few times I was a little surprised by what went through.
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Message 161777 (In Reply to Message 161776)
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 03:24 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I truly enjoy interacting with RSOs and pedos. Call me weird if you want, but different perspectives are a good thing.
But, is it possible that we have phantom victims afraid to post because of the RSO perspective? I believe that is possible, I have no idea how to measure the amount of people afraid to post. Is it unreasonable to make exceptions for certain victims that require specific boundaries to feel safe?
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Message 161778 (In Reply to Message 161777)
Clarification
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 03:31 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I am in no way suggesting that the entire forum be victims only. I am talking about specific threads only at the request of the original poster. If the original poster doesn't mind talking to RSOs then so be it. I'm looking for ways we can all post in this forum with enough elbow room for all.
Need input and ideas.
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Message 161779 (In Reply to Message 161776)
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Sep 16, 2005 03:31 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
I just want to make a point on this issue, and then i will drop it. What if some one comes into this forum, and sees that it says victims only, then finds out that they have been kind of misleaded. that there are SO's/RSO's also, that were victims. And their assault, was just recent. Wheather it be rape, touched. Misdemenor (spelling) or Felony. Do you think they are still going to be comfortable? Do you think they will still post? Just a thought? In my opinion, they will feel decieved, betrayed as i did, when i found out, and i couldn't let my daughter get on here, which is what i orginally was going to do. If I had, she would have felt like she was a victim all over, and even though she wasn't raped, she may have felt it, then and in the room. So like I said, this i think, is where my problem was with the forum, and the anger that i felt with my mother, which was more empowering than anyone could ever possibly know.
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Message 161781 (In Reply to Message 161774)
Posted by Renunciation
on Sep 16, 2005 03:57 PM | Also by Renunciation
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Bahrain |
I think if the originator of a thread requests certain people only to reply, that everyone should respect that request, whether in the victims' forum, other side, or off topic. Call these our DMZs
I think the General area should be the battleground if there must be one.
On days like today, where I might need this site for the Victims' Forum, it would be nice to know that I could post. On other days, when my mood is more attuned to the Other Side, same there. Either way.... the thread orginator should set the guidelines for the thread, as long as they fit into the Moderator's set guidelines.
Thank you DP1 and have a groovy non-VOP weekend.
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Message 161782 (In Reply to Message 161778)
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 03:58 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
My thoughts are that if victims who are afraid to post can have the authority or the power to decide who they want to talk to then they will feel more comforable posting initially. There is no doubt in my mind that if they see that we (including RSOs) are respectful of each others boundaries they may in the future enjoy opening up discussions with RSOs too.
I'm struggling with ways to break the ice so to speak. Have you ever been in a place that you felt uncomfortable at first and didn't utter a word? Been there done that myself. RSOs feel the same way about some of their issues......try walking into a sex offender therapy group and see how fast you get booted out on your butt. Even as the PO of my RSOs in group I walk out of group once the RSO discussions begin. If I am invited to speak with them in THEIR group I sometimes stay at THEIR request only. In their group they have the say so. I respect the fact that sometimes RSOs HATE POs and do not want them meddling into THEIR affairs. If RSOs decide not to have POs in their therapy group that doesn't mean I can never talk to them, it just means I can't talk in that group at that particular time. I see no problem with giving each other some space when needed. Funny thing about my sex offender groups. I'm the only PO they ask to speak in THEIR group. It's no accident. When a new guy comes into group that isn't mine I know I have to work on the trust issue all over again.
Just my 2 cents.
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Message 161784 (In Reply to Message 161778)
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Sep 16, 2005 03:59 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
dp, your forum says no sex offenders allowed. So that is what would be expected. So this specific room would be for just victims correct? Not victims that became SO's correct? That would be done in other forums is that correct?
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Message 161785 (In Reply to Message 161782)
Trust
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 04:10 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Trust is a big issue with RSOs and victims alike. If victims do not post because they can't trust that we will not attack them then they will not post. I am not suggesting that we will attack them and I am not saying RSOs will either. The perception of safety is the issue.
My experience is with RSO groups. The therapist's rules are that no POs are allowed in his groups. This makes RSOs feel safe. If I respect the rules they in turn respect me. They soon warm up to me and invite me in as a guest. So even though the rules are that POs are not allowed the therapist allows me to speak to the group at their request. I have never seen other POs get invited by RSOs to a RSO only group.
I am trying to relate the interaction on a forum to real life experiences regarding boundaries and trust issues. Does this make any sense at all?
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Message 161787 (In Reply to Message 161759)
Posted by orolan
on Sep 16, 2005 04:15 PM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Now that I've read to the bottom of the thread;-))
I think the RSOs here for the most part will respect the wishes of a victim. If a victim finds my post offensive or they just can't handle the interaction all they have to do is say so and I'm out of there. I think any other RSO would do the same, and I'm sure Steve would reject any subsequent posts after such a request was made.
I hate to bring it up again but the Kessa post is the most recent in which things got out of hand. The victim never once asked me not to post, even though I started out with giving her that opportunity to tell me to get lost. It was the other posters, so-called "advocates" who decided they needed to speak for Kessa. An action that had I been her I would have found quite demeaning.
How about if RSOs respect the wishes of victims regarding whether or not they post, and that all posts be directed TO the victim? A victim posts a question, say about statutes. I post what I know from my research. That's good. You post what you know from your own experiences. That's good. Another victim posts how their similar situation was handed. That's good. Then somebody posts and says "Orolan, you're scum and shouldn't even be here." That's bad. Or an RSO posts to you and claims that your knowledge is skewed by police oppression blah, blah. That's bad.
See what I'm getting at? Keep the conversation between the vicitm and the poster with no side-posts jabbing at each other.
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Message 161791 (In Reply to Message 161787)
Wrong Forum
Posted by dp1
on Sep 16, 2005 04:24 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I loved Orolan's post but he accidently posted it here and not in the General forum.
I think I just violated your request. But I didn't see this, I saw that thread first. Sorry:-((
No problem. The RSOs can give feedback as well in the general forum. Thanks.
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Message 161800 (In Reply to Message 161791)
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Sep 16, 2005 06:46 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
this room should only be for victims, not former victims that have since turned in to so's or Rso's. If they start to feel comfortable and want to talk to So's or RSO's then there is always the General Forum
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Message 161817 (In Reply to Message 161781)
Renunciation
Posted by dp1
on Sep 17, 2005 12:30 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Renunciation accidently posted here instead of in the general forum.
Dang it.
I am sorry, I read this after I posted over there. Well geez........ Can I play my victim card to keep me out of hot water for that post? Pretty Please?
No problem Ren. Thanks.
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Message 161818 (In Reply to Message 161779)
Posted by dp1
on Sep 17, 2005 01:12 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
A safe place for victims / survivors and their friends, relatives and advocates to ask questions, comment, share their stories, get support and advice. This is also the forum to post to if you need advice because you suspect or witnessed sexual abuse.
Deception is a major issue in my opinion. The above quote defines the victim's forum and says nothing about convicted sex offenders posting here nor does it address self admitted pedophiles or sex offender advocates and their supporters. Clearly this is not accurate as the rules are today for this forum.
What if the rules were:
A safe place for victims / survivors and their friends, relatives and advocates to ask questions, comment, share their stories, get support and advice. This is also the forum to post to if you need advice because you suspect or witnessed sexual abuse. Some victims are also sexual offenders and are welcomed guests. If you do not wish to communicate with sex offenders simply type “No sex offenders” in the Post Title Box when starting your new thread.
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Message 161820 (In Reply to Message 161759)
yes.
Posted by anti
on Sep 17, 2005 01:45 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
yes, I am not a victim, but a mother of victims, which 1 is deceased,
but I feel I would be able to post here more constructivly is rsp, pedos, etc all, were not allowed in here.
thank you, anti.
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Message 161822 (In Reply to Message 161760)
yes...
Posted by anti
on Sep 17, 2005 01:47 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
yes I do fully agree there, that is a problem as why I mentioned to steve, to have a seperate place for rso that were victims to go........
as see even when they post in victims as you have seen, sometimes the victim part of them unfortunatly does not appear, but the rsp part, and that is when it is not fair for the victims.
anti
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Message 161823 (In Reply to Message 161775)
no offense:
Posted by anti
on Sep 17, 2005 01:48 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
but dp dont you think k mart and their cookies are a bit different then this?
anti
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Message 161825 (In Reply to Message 161784)
Mom
Posted by dp1
on Sep 17, 2005 01:52 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
With all due respect to both sides I am attempting to negotiate a balance in this forum while empowering the victim to make HER own choice as to whether RSO comments are welcomed. For example, Mom I would ask that you take 2 big deep breaths then read this thread from the victim's forum. Newmind6 is a sex offender yet he has an awesome ability to relate to victims. Some of us that have been around for a while see value in allowing respectful RSOs to post for this reason. They have seen both sides. Feel free to scan more of newmind6's posts to the victim's forum. Unfortunately, if the rules were so strict as to not allow RSOs then people like Newmind6 would not be able to offer invaluable insight.
http://www.sexcriminals.com/forums/106/15730/148519.html
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Message 161827 (In Reply to Message 161800)
exactly..
Posted by anti
on Sep 17, 2005 01:53 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
ty, and I feel it was wrong of orlans post he said something re if victims dont like the rso posting in victims they can leave, well thats just what has been happening.
anti
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Message 161839 (In Reply to Message 161759)
Posted by sorrow
on Sep 17, 2005 05:01 AM | Also by sorrow
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: New Jersey,
Country: United States |
Hi. I'm a lurker, first time poster, and a victim. I haven't read the other replies because I don't want to be influenced in my response, but I will read them later. Yes, I would feel I could post if SOs weren't posting in here. I really need some support. I'm not in therapy right now, and I'm having a very hard time because of the Groene/McKenzie case. My attacker was a sexual psychopath, polymorphic, and very bizarre. The similarities are bringing up a lot of stuff for me. Especially because of little Shasta and what she endured, is going through now, and will have to go through. I identify with her, and it's just awfully hard for me right now. That's it in a nutshell. There's always more to it though, isn't there? :)
I could go to the SO forum if I had a question for them. But then they'd probably not want me posting there. So maybe 3 forums - victims only, SOs only, and another for both?
Thank you for asking, and for the opportunity to voice my thoughts.
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Message 161855 (In Reply to Message 161839)
Hello and Welcome
Posted by dp1
on Sep 17, 2005 03:02 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Dear Sorrow,
Thank you for replying. We have an awesome forum here that is extremely supportive. I and others here believe that we can improve the forum by reaching out to first time posters such as yourself. As a lurker your input is valuable.
I am a Probation Officer who deals with sex offenders. My experiences with victims have helped shaped many of my opinions regarding my work. There is nothing more important than supporting victims and preventing new crimes. It's because of you and other victims of sexual abuse we all want to do whatever it takes to make sure you are safe.
I work with a woman who was a victim of a horrific sexual crime as a teenager including abduction, rape, torture, violence, and murder of her girlfriend. Her perpetrator was caught and sentenced to death. Last year Texas put him in a pine box. The emotions this beautiful woman goes through on a daily basis is beyond the scope of a normal person's comprehension level. Her situation brings tears to my eyes just trying to type this to you. The bond between her and I is soley based on my ability to listen and support her situation. She also finds it helpful to get more support right now because not only of scumbag Duncan but all the sex offender news we get bombarded with in Florida.
Sorrow, many of us would love to support a place where you could feel safe and secure posting. I am all ears. Please tell me what it will take to reach out to people who survived horrific crimes. It's important to us that victims aren't forgotten.
I believe most of the people that participate in this forum have a strong passion about this subject and have a genuine desire to help. I also understand that any of our posts or words can be hurtful depending on a person's perspective. We all want to support you and others in similar situations. Post if you can or feel free to PM any one of us.
May God bless you and your family during this difficult time.
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Message 161856 (In Reply to Message 161839)
Sorrow
Posted by dp1
on Sep 17, 2005 03:43 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I could go to the SO forum if I had a question for them. But then they'd probably not want me posting there.
http://www.sexcriminals.com/forums/108/16452/155380.html
We certainly can not speak for the offenders and pedophiles who post in the other side; however, I wanted to point out that it's possible they are also experiencing triggered emotions. If you are interested you can 'lurk' at the above thread I copied from the other side. This thread by Silverthorne is in regards to the triggered emotions he's been dealing with since Duncan. Silverthorne is a victim of abuse such as yourself, but unfortunately his trauma festered and he developed pedophilia as a result. He claims he never sexually abused and takes a proactive approach to managing his pedophilia.
I'd be interested in your thoughts about his presence here in this forum. Do you think a person with pedophilia who suffers similar emotions can be helpful or hurtful to your situation? Do you believe that if you posted to his thread in the other side that your thoughts, comments or questions would be unwelcomed?
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Message 161865 (In Reply to Message 161825)
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Sep 17, 2005 04:55 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
dp, that would be what the general forum would be for. It clearly states No sex offenders allowed. and that is what it should be. you asked, and that is my opinion.
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Message 161870 (In Reply to Message 161818)
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Sep 17, 2005 05:01 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
I would still not feel good then about my daughter coming in here, if it was like this. I have read posts on the other side, and yes I do understand what the other side has to say. But for 2 days now, i have seen nothing in the paper but normal everyday people, not anyone being covered on national news but local for us, Indiana, Ky., and Ill. and there have been 3 to 5 sexual assualts on minors, one even had the minor and her mother selling drugs for him. This story, was a little different, the girl was 14 but lied and said she was 17. but when the mother found out, she told the guy her real age, and said that he couldn't see her. But it didn't stop. He even physically abused her. But thankfully he is in jail, and both mother and daughter turned state evidence and will also get the help they need. And dp, this has been in the last 2 days.
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Message 161875 (In Reply to Message 161839)
sorrow
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Sep 17, 2005 05:13 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
Sorrow, hello and welcome, you have made a very valid point, and this is a forum that dp just started up, and I hope that she now realizes what i have been saying all along. I am sorry for what has happened to you. You wouldn't have to go to the So's forum, you be able to go into the general forum. Dp is trying to see what peoples opinions on this is. Its not like we are being rude, but like you, i wouldn't feel that my daughter who was sexually touched by my stepfather who was charged with sex abuse in the 3rd degree would be comfortable if SO's or RSO's were also in this room. If she felt like she needed to ask them a question or myself for that matter, I would go to the General Forum. I have read posts from the other side, and yes my heart goes out to some of them because they were abused themselves. But the fact still remains the same, they are rso's or so's, etc. and she still wouldn't come in here because i wouldn't let her.
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Message 161897 (In Reply to Message 161870)
Posted by dp1
on Sep 18, 2005 01:30 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I would still not feel good then about my daughter coming in here.
I wouldn't want my daughters on this site either. Surely there must be victims forums appropriate for minors. Selecting a victims forum on the same site as offenders is obviously poor judgement in my opinion regardless if offenders are posting in the victims forum or not. There's a lot of us who oppose minors posting here on sexcrims. It's doubtful that many of us would stick around if minors posted regularly.
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Message 161985 (In Reply to Message 161827)
Anti
Posted by dp1
on Sep 19, 2005 12:18 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
ty, and I feel it was wrong of orlans post he said something re if victims dont like the rso posting in victims they can leave, well thats just what has been happening.
anti
Anti, I don't remember that. Where did Orolan say that?
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Message 161989 (In Reply to Message 161875)
Posted by dangvarmint
on Sep 19, 2005 12:55 AM | Also by dangvarmint
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Personally I'd have no problem with a Victims only part of the forum if it helped victims feel more comfortable. But, as a few have mentioned, some offenders are also victims themselves. I was victimized 3 times as a teenager, and I also committed an offence against a teenager when I was 21.
I have long since recovered from the type of lifestyle that led to both me being a victim and my offence. Most was drug/alcohol related. In the many years since that time I have actually been able to help kids by talking to them about what to avoid so they do not become victims or perpetrators. This is especially important for teenagers and college age students who party a lot. Sex offences can happen easily in such scenarios.
Let's put it this way: some victims will not feel comfortable with offenders also posting. And some will. It all depends on a persons spiritual and psychological makeup. Comprimise: Perhaps a place on the forum for victims where offenders can also post, and also a more private forum for those who would feel uncomfortable?
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Message 161994 (In Reply to Message 161989)
dangvamint
Posted by dp1
on Sep 19, 2005 02:23 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Comprimise: Perhaps a place on the forum for victims where offenders can also post, and also a more private forum for those who would feel uncomfortable?
Hello and welcome to the forums. I appreciate your input and I'm sure others do as well.
Initially I was thinking that maybe it would not be necessary to split the victims forum into two; one with RSOs and one without. I thought a designated thread in the victims corner would suffice. However, you are the third sex offender to post in a thread titled "No sex offenders allowed". No offense to you because I know you are new and this was just a test anyway. But, considering this thread was started with the intentions of having discussions with non-sex offenders this obviously proves that a no-sex offender thread is not enough of a buffer so to speak to give the victims the room they need to feel free to post. Lessons learned: not only is it important for the victims to have their own forum, but the guidelines/rules need to be clearly stated so new posters know where to post.
Once again, thank you for your insight. FYI - I have a similar thread in the general forum titled "Important announcement" open for general discussion. I also like the idea of sex offenders talking about thier victim issues and appreciate your honesty. Clearly, victims of sexual abuse who have not abused may not be quite as eager to discuss offender's victim issues. Having seen both sides yourself I'm sure you would agree that to understand the entire abuse cycle sex offenders also must feel equally as comfortable in a forum to discuss these very sensitive issues.
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Message 162212 (In Reply to Message 161985)
dpi/orlan..
Posted by anti
on Sep 21, 2005 01:40 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
sorry, but I dont recall now, if I locate it I will let you know, way too many posts here to search it.
anti, sorry.
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Message 162285 (In Reply to Message 161759)
Test - ignore
Posted by dummy20
on Sep 21, 2005 03:49 PM | Also by dummy20
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Test using a test user. Ignore.
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Message 164171 (In Reply to Message 161782)
Posted by oicu812
on Oct 11, 2005 06:06 PM | Also by oicu812
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Country: United States |
should be no problem. as long as it's very clear that it for victims only. the only complication i see is when so's lurk on the thread, then bring up something from that thread later in another thread. understanding that it is not a "private" thread like a victims or offenders group, but a thread that only victims/non-so's can participate in might help avoid some betrayal issues.
as for breaking the ice, do just that. BREAK the ice. "hello and welcome. my name is dp1 and in this thread you, as victim/survivors, have all the power and control. offenders are not allowed to participate because they have no power and control here. you get to choose everything here..." something like that. to me empowerment is very important to someone that has at some point had the control and choices over themselves forced from them. i think there are many who are looking for someone to say "hey, here is your power and control over your life back. now run with it!"
the only other danger i see is something that is difficult to catch and potentially very damaging. if an unidentified so pretends to be a victim and decides to amuse themselves, or worse, attempt to groom the victim or all the thread participnats, what are the consequences to the future of such threads? i sure don't mean to be pessimistic, but i am trying to consider any potential negative consequences and damage to the victims who place trust in the thread.
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Message 164278 (In Reply to Message 162212)
anti
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Oct 12, 2005 01:44 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
anti, i am not sure that it was orlon who made those comments, he may have not agreed with it, but there was someone who hasn't posted in awhile that didn't like the idea at all, and made it verbally clear that he/she didn't. This person said that as far as they knew it was Steve's forum and that it was not right for anyone to try and change it. But as much as orlon was against it, i don't believe it was orlon this time.
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Message 164411 (In Reply to Message 161759)
my response
Posted by momhelpingbyherself
on Oct 13, 2005 02:07 PM | Also by momhelpingbyherself
| Gender: Female,
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State: Kentucky,
Country: United States |
Yes i would feel more comfortable right now.
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Message 164417 (In Reply to Message 164278)
sorry then Orlan...
Posted by anti
on Oct 13, 2005 02:47 PM | Also by anti
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and thank you for pointing out that I was wrong.
sorry.
anti
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Thread
161759, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 01:29 PM [Victim's Only!]
161760, momhelpingbyherself, Sep 16, 2005 01:39 PM
161775, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 03:15 PM
161823, anti, Sep 17, 2005 01:48 AM [no offense:]
161822, anti, Sep 17, 2005 01:47 AM [yes...]
161766, artie, Sep 16, 2005 02:02 PM
161774, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 03:09 PM
161781, Renunciation, Sep 16, 2005 03:57 PM
161817, dp1, Sep 17, 2005 12:30 AM [Renunciation]
161776, myoung, Sep 16, 2005 03:19 PM [dp1]
161777, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 03:24 PM
161778, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 03:31 PM [Clarification]
161782, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 03:58 PM
161785, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 04:10 PM [Trust]
164171, oicu812, Oct 11, 2005 06:06 PM
161784, momhelpingbyherself, Sep 16, 2005 03:59 PM
161825, dp1, Sep 17, 2005 01:52 AM [Mom]
161865, momhelpingbyherself, Sep 17, 2005 04:55 PM
161779, momhelpingbyherself, Sep 16, 2005 03:31 PM
161818, dp1, Sep 17, 2005 01:12 AM
161870, momhelpingbyherself, Sep 17, 2005 05:01 PM
161897, dp1, Sep 18, 2005 01:30 AM
161787, orolan, Sep 16, 2005 04:15 PM
161791, dp1, Sep 16, 2005 04:24 PM [Wrong Forum]
161800, momhelpingbyherself, Sep 16, 2005 06:46 PM
161827, anti, Sep 17, 2005 01:53 AM [exactly..]
161985, dp1, Sep 19, 2005 12:18 AM [Anti]
162212, anti, Sep 21, 2005 01:40 AM [dpi/orlan..]
164278, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 12, 2005 01:44 PM [anti]
164417, anti, Oct 13, 2005 02:47 PM [sorry then Orlan...]
161820, anti, Sep 17, 2005 01:45 AM [yes.]
161839, sorrow, Sep 17, 2005 05:01 AM
161855, dp1, Sep 17, 2005 03:02 PM [Hello and Welcome]
161856, dp1, Sep 17, 2005 03:43 PM [Sorrow]
161875, momhelpingbyherself, Sep 17, 2005 05:13 PM [sorrow]
161989, dangvarmint, Sep 19, 2005 12:55 AM
161994, dp1, Sep 19, 2005 02:23 AM [dangvamint]
162285, dummy20, Sep 21, 2005 03:49 PM [Test - ignore]
164411, momhelpingbyherself, Oct 13, 2005 02:07 PM [my response]
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