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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): My daughter got cheated - (greatdad)
Message 133373
Is there no justice?
Posted by greatdad53
on May 13, 2004 01:09 AM | Also by greatdad53
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Oklahoma,
Country: United States |
My Daughter, who was molested by her uncle, has waited for 2 years to finally get to tell what happened to her. The day of the jury trial after numerous postponents, He copped a plea with the DA. On 11 counts of Lewd acts with a minor he got 30 years, all of it suspended, and not to serve a day in jail!! So where is her Justice?..We are all the victims, and have no closure......
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Message 133411 (In Reply to Message 133373)
Posted by Silverthorne
on May 13, 2004 07:48 AM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Welcome to the board GreatDad I feel for you deeply. Perhaps you can explain why he serves no jail time? What did the prosecutor tell you? Like it or not (for him) he does owe you an explanation.
How old was your daughter when this happend and how old is she now? Was this a case where she was viewed as not credible due to young age or anything?
What conditions have been placed on him?
Silverthorne
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Message 133416 (In Reply to Message 133373)
Greatdad
Posted by dp1
on May 13, 2004 08:03 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Hello and welcome to this forum. I am deeply sadened and sorry to hear about your daughter's sexual abuse. Yes, you all have been victimized and were hoping for closure, probably with a stiff prison sentence. I can't say that I blame your family.
But, let's look a little closer at the sentence the Judge did give him. Now I'm assuming the 30 years suspended means state prison time, correct? Can you tell us if he is serving probation or some other form of street level supervision? I have a friend who is a PO supervising sex cases in your state. She refers to a probation called Intense supervision, almost like a house arrest program? Does that sound familiar?
Anyway, as a probation officer for many years who supervises sex cases, the 30 year suspended sentence is the best thing ever. Let me explain why. He's on probation and you're giving him a chance to rehabilitate on his dime. The Court is telling him to walk a straight line or else he goes away for 30 years. No PO in the world is going to ignor his 30 year suspended. I can't think of one I missed in 15 years. When they violate everyone knows what the sentence is. The VOP process is a piece of cake. He goes away for 30. See how easy that was?
Just hang tight and call his PO. Keep close tabs on him. Let the PO know about violations. Read up on his rules of probation and let them know when he's in violation. With a little more patience you'd be surprised how the Judge did you all a favor. And the best part is that the family won't be able to blame your daughter for putting him in prison for the rest of his life. It will be his fault and his doing. I love how that works.
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Message 133440 (In Reply to Message 133373)
hello
Posted by TGoodman
on May 13, 2004 01:04 PM | Also by TGoodman
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kansas,
Country: United States |
welcome to the forum greatdad53. I am sorry to hear that your daughter didn't get closure. If you talk to the da in the case, he may have felt that it was best for him to pead out the case so that your daughter didn't have to relive everything in the courtroom. You didn't state how old your daughter is, but testifying in open court can many time re-traumatize the victims. What I don't understand is how they plead 11 counts of Lewd acts on a child to only a suspended sentence. Did he get any probation time or is it all just suspended? If he is doing his time on probation, he probably will be violated and will serve whatever time is left in prison.
I know as a parent how hard this is on you. My child was molested also...
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Message 133547 (In Reply to Message 133416)
Slightly off-topic
Posted by steve
on May 13, 2004 11:54 PM | Also by steve
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Virginia,
Country: United States |
Anyway, as a probation officer for many years who supervises sex cases, the 30 year suspended sentence is the best thing ever. Let me explain why. He's on probation and you're giving him a chance to rehabilitate on his dime. The Court is telling him to walk a straight line or else he goes away for 30 years. No PO in the world is going to ignor his 30 year suspended. I can't think of one I missed in 15 years. When they violate everyone knows what the sentence is. The VOP process is a piece of cake. He goes away for 30. See how easy that was?
http://www.sun-herald.com/NewsArchive2/051204/tp8ew13.htm?date=051204&story=tp8ew13.htm
Sun Herald
May 12, 2004
I just came across the article above. It sounds like this guy is looking at a scenario just like dp1 described.
Donald Edwin Blackie, of 4200 Hollis Ave., pleaded guilty to one first-degree felony charge of sexual activity with a child.
In exchange, Blackie will spend the next 15 years on sexual offender probation.
(text snipped)
Blackie could have spent up to 30 years in prison for the offense. But if Blackie violates his probation, Pellecchia promised him prison time.
"If you violate your probation, I'm telling you now, you will be incarcerated," Pellecchia said.
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Message 133614 (In Reply to Message 133373)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on May 14, 2004 10:12 AM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
I am sorry for your family's pain and understand how you feel. My daughter's molester/rapist (who was a close family friend) will probably never be brought to justice because my daughter is currently too ill to face court proceedings. Her life is destroyed while he walks around scot free. At least you have the satisfaction of having confronted him and him have a criminal record. Not much, but something. Don't waste any more time thinking about him - he's not worth it. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck for the future. I hope your daughter is able to put this behind her and move on to a happy fulfilled life - that is the important thing.
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Message 134312 (In Reply to Message 133373)
Posted by Navigatr1
on May 20, 2004 07:51 AM | Also by Navigatr1
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I am interested in the age of your daughter too at the time of the molestation. Was she less then 5? Was she a teenager? Knowing your daughters age helps us to understand. How long did the molestation go on? How old is the Uncle? I know some Uncles who are near the same age as their nieces and nephews.
30 years probation seems like a slap on the hand. Is the Uncle a cop perchance? However, 30 years probation may not be as easy as it might seem if it is supervised probation. He will have to report to a PO at least once a month depending on his parole conditions. He will be subjected to UA's and polygraphs. There will be any number of things for him to trip up on while on parole that could earn him a parole violation, and have his parole revoked. So 30 years probation is really a blessing in disquise. The Uncle may think he got off easy, but wait till he has to comply with his parole conditions.
Does he have to pay restitution to your daughter for counseling? If so, he needs a job in order to pay the court ordered restitution or he could be violated.
--Navigatr1
CopWatch.com News Moderator
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Message 134314 (In Reply to Message 133373)
Are You In Counseling?
Posted by Navigatr1
on May 20, 2004 08:12 AM | Also by Navigatr1
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
greatdad53, are you in counseling? I recommend that you do as you certainly have anger issues. I am not trying to attack you by this comment. You have a lot of issues to work through, and the best place is through counseling. I would suggest anger management as part of your counseling too.
--Navigatr1
CopWatch.com News Moderator
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Message 134316 (In Reply to Message 134314)
(greatdad)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on May 20, 2004 09:24 AM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
Counselling for yourself is a good idea. But the anger at this point is natural and healthy. You wouldn't be much of a dad if you didn't feel angry. But don't let it consume you and try not to get upset by stuff said on the other forum. They are used to having rotten tomatoes thrown at them so they react defensively - you aren't going to find much empathy there. Consider the source and let it go.
I was in a complete rage that wouldn't subside when I first discovered my daughter's abuse (and I am normally quite a low key person). My daughter's rapist is the only person I have ever hated. In fact it wasn't so much my desperation for my daughter that brought me to my knees in prayer - it was my rage and hatred. They were completely unfamiliar emotions to me and they were consuming me. I knew I couldn't very well ask God for anything with so much hatred inside me so I prayed first for that to be lifted.
It has helped for me to think of my daughter's rapist as someone without a soul or conscience (I mean how could he have?). Then what he did makes some kind of sense and the fact that we strayed into his path was just bad luck, like meeting a bear in the woods. When you are recovering from your bear attack there's not much point thinking about the bear. He did what bears do. Focus just on recovery. It might also help to think about how your daughter and you can use this experience to create something positive - in either preventing this from happening to someone else or in helping others heal. I plan on campaigning for more sex education in schools. I have been more outspoken when tackling sexist and sexually abusive attitudes as well. I don't just smile uncomfortably when someone makes a sexist or offensive joke. I tell them why I think the joke is in poor taste. My daughter always wanted to be a writer. At some point she might write a book or article about her experience which would have the benefit of allowing her to vent, educating others and punishing the perp. I hope she does.
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Thread
133373, greatdad53, May 13, 2004 01:09 AM [Is there no justice?]
133411, Silverthorne, May 13, 2004 07:48 AM
133416, dp1, May 13, 2004 08:03 AM [Greatdad]
133547, steve, May 13, 2004 11:54 PM [Slightly off-topic]
133440, TGoodman, May 13, 2004 01:04 PM [hello]
133614, deadmomwalking, May 14, 2004 10:12 AM
134312, Navigatr1, May 20, 2004 07:51 AM
134314, Navigatr1, May 20, 2004 08:12 AM [Are You In Counseling?]
134316, deadmomwalking, May 20, 2004 09:24 AM [(greatdad)]
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