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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): My daughter got cheated
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Message 134316 (In Reply to Message 134314)
(greatdad)
Posted by deadmomwalking
on May 20, 2004 09:24 AM | Also by deadmomwalking
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 50 - 59,
State: N/A,
Country: Canada |
Counselling for yourself is a good idea. But the anger at this point is natural and healthy. You wouldn't be much of a dad if you didn't feel angry. But don't let it consume you and try not to get upset by stuff said on the other forum. They are used to having rotten tomatoes thrown at them so they react defensively - you aren't going to find much empathy there. Consider the source and let it go.
I was in a complete rage that wouldn't subside when I first discovered my daughter's abuse (and I am normally quite a low key person). My daughter's rapist is the only person I have ever hated. In fact it wasn't so much my desperation for my daughter that brought me to my knees in prayer - it was my rage and hatred. They were completely unfamiliar emotions to me and they were consuming me. I knew I couldn't very well ask God for anything with so much hatred inside me so I prayed first for that to be lifted.
It has helped for me to think of my daughter's rapist as someone without a soul or conscience (I mean how could he have?). Then what he did makes some kind of sense and the fact that we strayed into his path was just bad luck, like meeting a bear in the woods. When you are recovering from your bear attack there's not much point thinking about the bear. He did what bears do. Focus just on recovery. It might also help to think about how your daughter and you can use this experience to create something positive - in either preventing this from happening to someone else or in helping others heal. I plan on campaigning for more sex education in schools. I have been more outspoken when tackling sexist and sexually abusive attitudes as well. I don't just smile uncomfortably when someone makes a sexist or offensive joke. I tell them why I think the joke is in poor taste. My daughter always wanted to be a writer. At some point she might write a book or article about her experience which would have the benefit of allowing her to vent, educating others and punishing the perp. I hope she does.
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Message 134314
Are You In Counseling?
Posted by Navigatr1
on May 20, 2004 08:12 AM | Also by Navigatr1
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Thread
133373, greatdad53, May 13, 2004 01:09 AM [Is there no justice?]
133411, Silverthorne, May 13, 2004 07:48 AM
133416, dp1, May 13, 2004 08:03 AM [Greatdad]
133547, steve, May 13, 2004 11:54 PM [Slightly off-topic]
133440, TGoodman, May 13, 2004 01:04 PM [hello]
133614, deadmomwalking, May 14, 2004 10:12 AM
134312, Navigatr1, May 20, 2004 07:51 AM
134314, Navigatr1, May 20, 2004 08:12 AM [Are You In Counseling?]
134316, deadmomwalking, May 20, 2004 09:24 AM [(greatdad)]
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