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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): My story

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Message 132409 (In Reply to Message 132357)

Posted by Silverthorne on May 02, 2004 06:06 PM | Also by Silverthorne

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Arizona, Country: United States

Welcome ddmau,

First I'd like to invite you to post what you did here in your profile. You can click the EDIT PROFILE link above and past it into the biography. To read the biography of other people just click their name when you read a post (the red underlined name) and you'll be taken to their profile page.

I'm also a male victim of rape (age 10) but mine was a teacher not family members. Still I can understand how someone in a position of trust can really "screw you up". If you read my profile you'll see I've had my share of problems.

I assume your brother was probably molested as well. I wouldn't be too surprised at the child porn he was convicted of possessing. I'm sure in his own way he was warped as well but his upbringing. I do relate to the problems your having today finding joy in life. This is normal but it does pass. While sexual abuse and its trauma will sadly always be a part of you it doesn't have to control your life.

I am disturbed by your mother and grandfathers silence in the issue. What does your mother say about this? She MUST know it was happening. Is there a possibility that your father was abused when he was a child (by your grandmother or her friends) and was just carrying it on another generation with his abuse of you?

I'd like to recommend a book for you called ABUSED BOYS by MIC HUNTER. I bought it about 10 years ago. It was a good "get in touch with yourself" book. Because boys are the silent victims of sexual abuse there wasn't alot out there for us even back then.

You can order the book through Amazon at

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0449906299/qid=1083516471/sr=1-1/r
ef=sr_1_1/002-4433346-6681603?v=glance&s=books

If you order the book please go directly there from this website. You can copy/paste that link to the browser above from here and go striaght there. Steve the webmaster here gets a small referral fee (its very small) for book referrals and it helps defray the costs of hosting this site (which I imagine are high).

I have some questions for you if you don't mind. I can PM you or post here whichever you prefer. Some are kind of personal so I'll give you the choice.

Silverthorne

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Message 132357

Posted by ddmau on May 02, 2004 02:50 AM | Also by ddmau

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

I'm new here and I just thought I would mention something about my story. I was sexually abused, assaulted and stabbed by my father when I was 12-13. I mentioned it to my mother at the time, in separate incidents.  My grandmother (her mother) threatened her if she ever reported it to the cops.When I was 13-14 I was molested and assaulted by friends of my grandmother. She even provided me to them to be sexually abused. She threatened my mother when I did say something. When I was about 15 I beat up this guy who was a friend of my grandmother and made advances towards me. My grandmother forced my mother to kick me out of the house, and so I was forced out on to the streets temporarily. I wound up becoming a heroin addict at age 18, and have had extreme problems with forming relationships. I used for the last time on December 31, 1999, and got off methadone in August 2003. I have been clean ever since and have been sober since January.

My grandmother and father both died in 1993. Their deaths caused a considerable amount of dischord between myself and my mother and grandfather (her father and the husband of my grandmother). Both of them still revere the memory of their mother and wife, respectively, and cannot understand my feelings towards her. In fact, my grandfather still does not believe that his wife was an associate of paedophiles nor that his son in law was a molestor.

My brother was convicted of possessing child pornography in 1998, although from the facts of the case he was making it. This really shocked me. I knew my brother was also a drug addict (methamphetamine, speed) and a member of a street gang as a teenager, but did not know of him being molested nor beaten by my father nor anyone else.(He, however, did repeatedly beat me during my childhood and teenage years)  This irrevocably alienated me from him and the rest of my family, and contributed to my relapse into heroin use which lasted until the end of 1999,

Currently I am undergoing counseling, but find life to be very difficult. It is very difficult to be a male survivor of rape and incest and also a recovering addict. Coming from the family that I stem from, it is difficult to not have self esteem problems.

Thought I might get a sympathetic hearing in this board. I'd like to know your comments.

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132357, ddmau, May 02, 2004 02:50 AM
132379, bess, May 02, 2004 11:09 AM
132409, Silverthorne, May 02, 2004 06:06 PM

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): My story

Message 132409 (In Reply to Message 132357)

Message 132357

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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): My story