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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): My story
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Message 132357
Posted by ddmau
on May 02, 2004 02:50 AM | Also by ddmau
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 40 - 49,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I'm new here and I just thought I would mention something about my story. I was sexually abused, assaulted and stabbed by my father when I was 12-13. I mentioned it to my mother at the time, in separate incidents. My grandmother (her mother) threatened her if she ever reported it to the cops.When I was 13-14 I was molested and assaulted by friends of my grandmother. She even provided me to them to be sexually abused. She threatened my mother when I did say something. When I was about 15 I beat up this guy who was a friend of my grandmother and made advances towards me. My grandmother forced my mother to kick me out of the house, and so I was forced out on to the streets temporarily. I wound up becoming a heroin addict at age 18, and have had extreme problems with forming relationships. I used for the last time on December 31, 1999, and got off methadone in August 2003. I have been clean ever since and have been sober since January.
My grandmother and father both died in 1993. Their deaths caused a considerable amount of dischord between myself and my mother and grandfather (her father and the husband of my grandmother). Both of them still revere the memory of their mother and wife, respectively, and cannot understand my feelings towards her. In fact, my grandfather still does not believe that his wife was an associate of paedophiles nor that his son in law was a molestor.
My brother was convicted of possessing child pornography in 1998, although from the facts of the case he was making it. This really shocked me. I knew my brother was also a drug addict (methamphetamine, speed) and a member of a street gang as a teenager, but did not know of him being molested nor beaten by my father nor anyone else.(He, however, did repeatedly beat me during my childhood and teenage years) This irrevocably alienated me from him and the rest of my family, and contributed to my relapse into heroin use which lasted until the end of 1999,
Currently I am undergoing counseling, but find life to be very difficult. It is very difficult to be a male survivor of rape and incest and also a recovering addict. Coming from the family that I stem from, it is difficult to not have self esteem problems.
Thought I might get a sympathetic hearing in this board. I'd like to know your comments.
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Thread
132357, ddmau, May 02, 2004 02:50 AM
132379, bess, May 02, 2004 11:09 AM
132409, Silverthorne, May 02, 2004 06:06 PM
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