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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Family law - anthony1978
Message 128887
Posted by anthony1978
on Mar 19, 2004 01:11 AM | Also by anthony1978
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: California,
Country: United States |
I wanted to know after a conviction and good behavior, what is the likelyhood that the family courts will make my children visit their father? Would I expect he has rights after a conviction of molesting his daughter? My biggest fear is for him to have a influence on them years later through supervised contact. Right now they want absolutely no contact with him.
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Message 128902 (In Reply to Message 128887)
Posted by dp1
on Mar 19, 2004 04:13 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Is the father (sex offender) on probation or parole? I can't imagine contact being allowed by his PO. That would be outrageous. There is no way in the world I'd subject my child to contact with a SO unless they themselves requested it and were ready for it. Even then, I'm sure you realize supervision must be supervised.
Can you let us know his stipulations?
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Message 128905 (In Reply to Message 128887)
Posted by Silverthorne
on Mar 19, 2004 05:50 AM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
How long is his sentence (is he still in prison) and how long is his probation? Most PO's wouldn't allow contact like that anyway. Is there any treatment requirements put on him by the courts?
Also how is your daughter doing? Is she getting therapy to deal with what happend to her? I hope she is getting help.
Silverthorne
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Message 129045 (In Reply to Message 128905)
Posted by anthony1978
on Mar 23, 2004 05:19 PM | Also by anthony1978
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: California,
Country: United States |
He hasn't been convicted, he was arrested in early Oct. and the preliminary hearing was continued 7 times. Finally, there was a trial date set for April 29th.
My daughter is in thereapy, she started with the local children's hosptial, child abuse program, now she is seeing a private family therapist through Victims Compensation. I am worried about her, hear in CA she has to testify against her father. She is extremely anxious about this and I don't blame her. I wish she didn't have to, but the DA tells me that is the only way.
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Message 129096 (In Reply to Message 129045)
anthony1978
Posted by dp1
on Mar 24, 2004 06:19 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I am very sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope all goes as expected during the trial. You might want to ask the prosecuting attorney about sentencing if and when the Def is found guilty. Are they asking for prison? Probation? If probation is a possibility you may want to clarify the conditions of probation before sentencing. For example, no contact with victim and victim's family either directly or indirectly, no contact with minors, counseling, restitution, etc.
If the DA is interested in your input for probation stipulations I'd be glad to provide you with a list of the top 100 of my favorites. Just food for thought.
DP1
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Message 129248 (In Reply to Message 129096)
sorry
Posted by poetsdreamscape
on Mar 27, 2004 09:41 AM | Also by poetsdreamscape
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I am sorry for your child but I can clearly tell you he wont have any visits with his children . I would as you to talk to him into pleading guilty to spare the child anymore harm . you may also ask the judge to have the seating of your child in away that she does not have to look right at her father .I would also suggest that you demand a jail sentence and no plea bargin if he chooses to force his child to testify .There is a guy in my group who has done the same with his daughter but he took responsibilty for it and is not allowed to contact his child or see her at all but he got probation and therapy for 10 years . If he completes therapy and your daughter wants to see him it should be done with a therapist only and only when your daughter is ready to do so . If for some reason a judge grants him the right i would appeal the judges decision right away and that would put a temporary hold on it . The father looses for the most part any rights that he has as a parent to that child . I am glad your child is in therapy and I hope that she continues as long as possible and as a reminder you are also a victim and I hope you are in counseling as well.
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Message 129274 (In Reply to Message 128887)
Posted by MrTruth
on Mar 29, 2004 05:34 AM | Also by MrTruth
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
That may be how they feel right now. Or is it? Is some of how you feel transferring to them? Are they trying to please you by stating the party line? You may not appreciate these questions, but they are valid. I abused my daughter, but my son still wanted contact with me. His mother was all over him like white on rice about it. There was a supervised contact plan put in place in the divorce decree, and when my ex moved out of state, she immediately blew that off and threatened my son with counseling.
Last year, he contacted me and had to do it behind his mother's back (and yes, the court said he could have whatever level of contact he wanted). He told his sister about having seen me, and she immediately wanted to see me after seven years. She was afraid to say anything to her mother about it. My daughter came to visit me for two weeks this past Christmas. Last week I helped her move to my state and she is now living with me and my new wife.
Granted, not all stories turn out this way, and there will be children (primary victim or otherwise) who truly do not want to have contact with their father. Let your children make up their own minds without you influencing them in a negative manner. Believe me, my ex vented on me with every fiber in her soul about how rotten I was, but it was not true, and my children knew it.
For what it's worth, I am sorry you have to go through something like this.
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Message 130858 (In Reply to Message 128887)
anthony1978
Posted by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime
on Apr 20, 2004 02:03 AM | Also by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Get familiar with your state laws first. Know what the battle is before you go to war.
Have you are your child received any counseling? This could be key. You have to know what you are dealing with. If he is convcited of raping a 24 year old, this could be different than a convcition for fondling a four year old. get in touch with family/child protective services.
If you are not married, and no custody has been established, you may want to do that as well. If visitation is ordered, perhaps you can get it modified to being supervised visits. If your daughter is of a certain age, some states don't require visitation if the child does desire it.
Good luck.
DTCDTT
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Thread
128887, anthony1978, Mar 19, 2004 01:11 AM
128902, dp1, Mar 19, 2004 04:13 AM
128905, Silverthorne, Mar 19, 2004 05:50 AM
129045, anthony1978, Mar 23, 2004 05:19 PM
129096, dp1, Mar 24, 2004 06:19 PM [anthony1978]
129248, poetsdreamscape, Mar 27, 2004 09:41 AM [sorry]
129274, MrTruth, Mar 29, 2004 05:34 AM
130858, DoTheCrimeDoTheTime, Apr 20, 2004 02:03 AM [ anthony1978]
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