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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Victims - what happens when they dont come to terms

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Message 125180 (In Reply to Message 125033)
Rachel

Posted by PVulcan on Jan 16, 2004 06:59 AM | Also by PVulcan

Gender: N/A, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

I'm not sure if they have programs available in Aus or not, but here in the usa, well, washington for sure, there are several types of 'empowering' type seminars such as Warrior Spirit and Landmark Education. Actually I just checked and they do have classes in Australia. These type seminars not only challenge and build emotional empowerment, but physical empowerment also. I have experienced both these programs and they do have 'teen' and 'adult' seperate programs. It might be an option not only for your daughter, but for yourself also in your efforts to get back that control and self esteem. All the best.

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Message 125033
To Rachel

Posted by Silverthorne on Jan 14, 2004 06:18 PM | Also by Silverthorne

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Arizona, Country: United States

Rachel, I certainly understand, if you read "Silverthornes Story" you'll see how I changed from a "normal happy kid" to a recluse literally overnight.  Im certain I've not developed into the person I couldve been had this not happend.

Im finally now (in my middle age) reaching my potential.  Its like everything was put on hold for 20 years.  I didnt get a fair start and that makes me angry as well.  If this hadnt happend who knows what I couldve been.  Im a driven, intense, passionate and inteligent person.  I belong to MENSA and love to read.  I could've been a doctor, a lawyer, a Senator, almost anything.  I'm "one of those types" of people who naturally excel.

Instead it was stolen away from me.  Looking back now its easy to see this event did affect me.  The point is though I've finally made the choice that it doesn't have to anymore.  Having had an experience like this will always define "who" I am.  It doesnt have to define "what" I am.  In some ways this has made me a much stronger person.  I've overcome adversity that would cripple most people.  Sure I'm angry as hell but I also know that anger isnt constructive.  People who are angry are blind to reality.  I have no plans to die alone and angry.

Your daughter is kind of going thru what I went thru.  The benefit is you know NOW what happend.  Has she had any victims therapy?  Have YOU had any therapy to deal with the issues of being a parent of an abused child?

Her behaviors including wanting to be close to you (security issues) and "being with the fairies" (distraction) are very common among abuse victims.  I've been told sometimes I get a far away look in my eyes and "phase out".  Im sure its the same with your daughter.  Having something like this happen to her has thrust her into the world of the victim.  A world where priorities are thrown asunder and victims long for stability and security.

I'd like to recommend a couple books to you including:

BEGINNING TO HEAL
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/006096927X/ref=pd_sim_books_2/002-
5339776-2304019?v=glance&s=books

THE COURAGE TO HEAL 
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898458331/qid=1074100342/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2
_1/002-5339776-2304019

COURAGE TO HEAL WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060964375/ref=pd_sim_books_2/002-
5339776-2304019?v=glance&s=books

HOW LONG DOES IT HURT - GUIDE FOR TEENAGE INCEST VICTIMS
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1555426743/qid=1074100442/sr=1-3/r
ef=sr_1_3/002-5339776-2304019?v=glance&s=books

These links lead directly amazon.com .  If you go there from here and purchase there in that visit Steve gets a small (very small) reward for referring people and it will help pay for this sites upkeep.

Silverthorne

Thread

124677, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 12:02 AM
      124693, dp1, Jan 11, 2004 02:49 AM [Victim Issues]
            124702, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 05:44 AM [Victims]
                  124718, dp1, Jan 11, 2004 03:02 PM [What About?]
                        124755, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 07:48 PM
                        124762, steve, Jan 11, 2004 07:55 PM
                  124729, orolan, Jan 11, 2004 05:26 PM
                        124739, dp1, Jan 11, 2004 06:45 PM [Yes]
      124761, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 07:54 PM [The other "big thing" Im angry about]
      124896, dp1, Jan 13, 2004 05:00 AM [Questions for Silver]
            124903, Silverthorne, Jan 13, 2004 06:25 AM [Victim Questions - answers from Silver...]
                  124928, dp1, Jan 13, 2004 02:49 PM [Silver]
                        124947, Silverthorne, Jan 13, 2004 04:37 PM
      125011, dp1, Jan 14, 2004 09:03 AM [Victim Therapists]
            125032, Silverthorne, Jan 14, 2004 06:02 PM
      125016, Rachel, Jan 14, 2004 03:07 PM [My thoughts]
            125033, Silverthorne, Jan 14, 2004 06:18 PM [To Rachel]
                  125180, PVulcan, Jan 16, 2004 06:59 AM [Rachel]
                        125281, Rachel, Jan 17, 2004 08:50 AM [Wish I lived in th USA]
                              125603, PVulcan, Jan 20, 2004 10:07 AM [Rachel]

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Victims - what happens when they dont come to terms

Message 125180 (In Reply to Message 125033)Rachel

Message 125033To Rachel

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Victims - what happens when they dont come to terms

Message 125180 (In Reply to Message 125033)
Rachel

Message 125033
To Rachel