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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Victims - what happens when they dont come to terms
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Message 125033 (In Reply to Message 125016)
To Rachel
Posted by Silverthorne
on Jan 14, 2004 06:18 PM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Rachel, I certainly understand, if you read "Silverthornes Story" you'll see how I changed from a "normal happy kid" to a recluse literally overnight. Im certain I've not developed into the person I couldve been had this not happend.
Im finally now (in my middle age) reaching my potential. Its like everything was put on hold for 20 years. I didnt get a fair start and that makes me angry as well. If this hadnt happend who knows what I couldve been. Im a driven, intense, passionate and inteligent person. I belong to MENSA and love to read. I could've been a doctor, a lawyer, a Senator, almost anything. I'm "one of those types" of people who naturally excel.
Instead it was stolen away from me. Looking back now its easy to see this event did affect me. The point is though I've finally made the choice that it doesn't have to anymore. Having had an experience like this will always define "who" I am. It doesnt have to define "what" I am. In some ways this has made me a much stronger person. I've overcome adversity that would cripple most people. Sure I'm angry as hell but I also know that anger isnt constructive. People who are angry are blind to reality. I have no plans to die alone and angry.
Your daughter is kind of going thru what I went thru. The benefit is you know NOW what happend. Has she had any victims therapy? Have YOU had any therapy to deal with the issues of being a parent of an abused child?
Her behaviors including wanting to be close to you (security issues) and "being with the fairies" (distraction) are very common among abuse victims. I've been told sometimes I get a far away look in my eyes and "phase out". Im sure its the same with your daughter. Having something like this happen to her has thrust her into the world of the victim. A world where priorities are thrown asunder and victims long for stability and security.
I'd like to recommend a couple books to you including:
BEGINNING TO HEAL
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/006096927X/ref=pd_sim_books_2/002-
5339776-2304019?v=glance&s=books
THE COURAGE TO HEAL
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898458331/qid=1074100342/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2
_1/002-5339776-2304019
COURAGE TO HEAL WORKBOOK FOR WOMEN
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060964375/ref=pd_sim_books_2/002-
5339776-2304019?v=glance&s=books
HOW LONG DOES IT HURT - GUIDE FOR TEENAGE INCEST VICTIMS
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1555426743/qid=1074100442/sr=1-3/r
ef=sr_1_3/002-5339776-2304019?v=glance&s=books
These links lead directly amazon.com . If you go there from here and purchase there in that visit Steve gets a small (very small) reward for referring people and it will help pay for this sites upkeep.
Silverthorne
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Message 125016
My thoughts
Posted by Rachel
on Jan 14, 2004 03:07 PM | Also by Rachel
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Australia |
Thread
124677, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 12:02 AM
124693, dp1, Jan 11, 2004 02:49 AM [Victim Issues]
124702, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 05:44 AM [Victims]
124718, dp1, Jan 11, 2004 03:02 PM [What About?]
124755, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 07:48 PM
124762, steve, Jan 11, 2004 07:55 PM
124729, orolan, Jan 11, 2004 05:26 PM
124739, dp1, Jan 11, 2004 06:45 PM [Yes]
124761, Silverthorne, Jan 11, 2004 07:54 PM [The other "big thing" Im angry about]
124896, dp1, Jan 13, 2004 05:00 AM [Questions for Silver]
124903, Silverthorne, Jan 13, 2004 06:25 AM [Victim Questions - answers from Silver...]
124928, dp1, Jan 13, 2004 02:49 PM [Silver]
124947, Silverthorne, Jan 13, 2004 04:37 PM
125011, dp1, Jan 14, 2004 09:03 AM [Victim Therapists]
125032, Silverthorne, Jan 14, 2004 06:02 PM
125016, Rachel, Jan 14, 2004 03:07 PM [My thoughts]
125033, Silverthorne, Jan 14, 2004 06:18 PM [To Rachel]
125180, PVulcan, Jan 16, 2004 06:59 AM [Rachel]
125281, Rachel, Jan 17, 2004 08:50 AM [Wish I lived in th USA]
125603, PVulcan, Jan 20, 2004 10:07 AM [Rachel]
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