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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Hello I am A Victim ...And I would Like To Introduce Myself - TG
Message 124062
Alone
Posted by alone
on Dec 30, 2003 01:27 PM | Also by alone
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: N/A,
Country: Australia |
Hello , to everyone.
I am from Melbourne,Australia and I am a victim of child sexual abuse , Rape , incest and have been a victim for over thirty years of my life.
But now I take my stand. II have survived and currently goig through the healing stage , which is really hard. I cry and me usually being a placid person , suddenly feels the anger of what I have had to endure.
I am seeking help , which is fantastic...it's never too late to get help.
All those years I blamed it on myself , besides rape and incest , I had to go through mental cruelty and torture. It hurts and the feeling off exploitation is horriblie. Even now I have to sleep with the light on, I still have fears .
But introducing myself I would like to say to other survivors , I have found to be positive and kind to myself. It's hard at times . Being victim after victim made me feel as if I was to blame , i felt so guilty and I kept asking "why" and started to question my self image and identity. Now I know I have to be strong...it's hard to be. But anyway I just thought I'd say " Hello " (:
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Message 124070 (In Reply to Message 124062)
Posted by steve
on Dec 30, 2003 04:47 PM | Also by steve
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Virginia,
Country: United States |
am from Melbourne,Australia and I am a victim of child sexual abuse , Rape , incest and have been a victim for over thirty years of my life.
Welcome, alone. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry for what you went through. I hope that you'll stay around long enough to share more to help benefit other readers who have gone through similar experiences, share your thoughts and get support from others.
Incidentally, there are a handful of registered users from Australia, including Rachel (her child was molested by her then husband) and tryingtosurvive (charged with rape after consensual sex with female of same age range).
I am seeking help , which is fantastic...it's never too late to get help.
You're right - it's never too late.
Being victim after victim made me feel as if I was to blame , i felt so guilty and I kept asking "why" and started to question my self image and identity. Now I know I have to be strong...it's hard to be. But anyway I just thought I'd say " Hello " (:
It's common for victims to blame themselves. It wasn't your fault. Be strong. And welcome to the forums.
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Message 124073 (In Reply to Message 124062)
Not Alone
Posted by dp1
on Dec 30, 2003 05:06 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
No offense Alone but your username is untrue. You are not alone on this board. There are some super folks here that can offer support and helpful hints. Thanks for sharing.
DP1
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Message 124078 (In Reply to Message 124073)
Posted by orolan
on Dec 30, 2003 07:27 PM | Also by orolan
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Leave it to DP1 to echo my own thoughts. Welcome to the board, and consider yourself as no longer "alone", but among friends. It's never too late to start the healing process, and a realization that it isn't your fault is a good first step.
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Message 124083 (In Reply to Message 124062)
Posted by Silverthorne
on Dec 30, 2003 10:12 PM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Hello Alone. Welcome to the board. I'm a past victim also so I can relate to how you feel. I also now have a problem with unhealthy attractions but thankfully have been in therapy and have never acted on them.
I'm glad your hear and hope you can participate and contribute.
Silverthorne
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Message 124092 (In Reply to Message 124062)
Some questions for Alone
Posted by Silverthorne
on Dec 30, 2003 11:56 PM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Alone,
I have a couple questions for you if you don't mind.
I'd like to know what motivated you to seek treatment after all these years? Was something going on that you finally felt compelled to deal with?
What type of long term social skill difficulties do you attribute to your abuse?
Have you ever gone back and talked to your abuser about what he did? What did he say?
Just some questions to get a feeling for who and where you are in the healing process.
Thanks,
Silverthorne
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Message 124130 (In Reply to Message 124092)
Welcome
Posted by tryingtosurvive
on Jan 01, 2004 04:27 AM | Also by tryingtosurvive
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Australia |
Dear Alone,
I would like to welcome you to this BB and feel sure you will get some usefull suggestions from these people. Between them they cover a lot of bases and are kind and intelligent and come to this discussion from from some pretty diverse viewpoints.
The healing process is fraught with blind alleys and false starts so sharing with others who may have simialar experiences can only help you work out a path for yourself.
Kindest of Regards
TTS
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Message 124766 (In Reply to Message 124062)
Your not alone now....
Posted by vbgal
on Jan 11, 2004 08:18 PM | Also by vbgal
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Texas,
Country: United States |
Hello...
I can relate to what your going through some, I was abused and molested when I was very young. LIke you, I blamed myself and I didn't think I was worth anything after that. But with therapy and time I've come a long ways from that nightmare. You are not alone, myself and others on here are available if you need to talk.
VBgal
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Message 124807 (In Reply to Message 124062)
ok, now I see...
Posted by anti
on Jan 12, 2004 06:06 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
sorry, I did not seem to know exactly how this board worked, after I read your post, I realized it was your last one , not first, now I do see why you are feeling bad, please know that you did nothing at all, nothing to ever cause your abuse.
nothing.
The perp was, and is sick, and you did not cause it, let yourself heal.
make sure you have a good therapist, and also dont hold back your tears or your anger, let it help you, to in time help others, I was not abused, but my children were.
peace to you, anti
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Message 124837 (In Reply to Message 124062)
I wish you well.
Posted by tessa
on Jan 12, 2004 05:25 PM | Also by tessa
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United Kingdom |
Alone, my family are just going to go through a court case. One of the abused in our family came out in the open two years ago. She could not look at her children without thinking of what happened to her! thirty years ago. Now because she told all, there are other family members who came forward to say they have been abused too. Our family are all so heartbroken about it all. The alleged abuser was a close relative. Have you been to the police about it? Please do not let the abuser away with what he has done. He will have passed on to other children. My heartfelt wishes go out to you and I hope one day you can live a life without the abuser ruining it for you. My family have became closer and stronger through all the anguish. One of the abused said by going to the police she feels as if a burden has been lifted from her shoulders after all these years. Keep your chin up love. You have done nothing wrong.
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Message 128000 (In Reply to Message 124062)
hello alone
Posted by glasschicken50
on Mar 03, 2004 02:23 PM | Also by glasschicken50
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: West Virginia,
Country: United States |
i was reading your profile and you will survive this thing in your life
i am also very anti- and i have no ideal what the law could do to these animal's once they are caught, my rapist was killed by some drug people and it couldnot have happen to a better person he was useless on this earth but he had raped several women and finally he met his fate, i was fifteen years old and knew nothing about sex but that animal caused me heart ache and he made me very aware of the danger's out here and god help the man that would try this again i in fact got into a car with a neighbor to get a ride home and he decided that he would take me to the wood's and i told him politely too turn the car around and if he didnot that i was going to kill him i had my hand on a ice- pick that was in my sleeve, i meant business and he turned that car around and took me where he was suppose to and i never had anymore trouble out of him i survived and you will to don't let your past keep you from being happy in your future o.o take care of you first .
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Message 130537 (In Reply to Message 124062)
Im new too!
Posted by thumper
on Apr 16, 2004 07:39 PM | Also by thumper
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Missouri,
Country: United States |
Hello alone! Im new to this too and just wanted to say you have a lot of back bone, i dont even know what i would say if i wanted to post something.. Im happy your getting help, how did you decide what kind of help to get??
thumper
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Message 130569 (In Reply to Message 130537)
Hello Thumper
Posted by TGoodman
on Apr 17, 2004 03:29 PM | Also by TGoodman
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kansas,
Country: United States |
Hello and welcome to the board. My name is Tracy...I am a survivor of childhood incest and adult rape. When I was a child, both of my older brothers would have sex with me whenever they wanted to and to top it off would allow any of their friends to have sex with me also. As an adult, I was raped while in the military.
I also hated my mother, b/c when I told her of the abuse at the hands of my brorthers, she did not believe me and locked me in a closet for 3 days. On her deathbed, many years later, she told me that she knew I had not lied to her about it. It took many years for me to get over the suicidal thoughts that I have had the most part of my life.
Let me say that my heart goes out to you. Ii was an adult and out of my parent's house before I ever got into therapy for the depression and suicide attempts. I hope that you will find the help that you need.
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Message 130577 (In Reply to Message 130569)
TG
Posted by dp1
on Apr 17, 2004 05:20 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I didn't realize you were in the military. What branch if I might ask? I was so amazed while in the military to hear about all the rapes, especially on our own female GI's. I took many self defense classes and bought a fire arm. I had a few close calls and only had to pull out and threaten to shoot someone once. Let me tell you. It's amazing how bullets ruin the mood.:-)
Self esteem and protecting yourself is the key. You did a great job protecting your daughter by dialing 911. Unfortunately, most victims and family members are so worn down by these abusive men that they just can't muster up the emotional strength to do the right thing.
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Message 130614 (In Reply to Message 130577)
dp1
Posted by TGoodman
on Apr 18, 2004 03:52 AM | Also by TGoodman
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kansas,
Country: United States |
I spent 3 years in the Army...I enjoyed most of the time. While I was stationed in D.C. I worked for the AG's office and recruited the first women into the Old Guard that guards the Tomb of the Unknown. Then when I went to Stuttgart I worked for General George Patton's grandson.
The rape that happened was when I was in the DC area and was working with CID Command (Criminal Investigation Division).
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Message 130640 (In Reply to Message 130614)
TG
Posted by dp1
on Apr 18, 2004 01:56 PM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Why doesn't that surprise me at all? CID of all places. And I'm sure it's your fault you were raped. You must have been having rough sex? Oh no? Then you had to be teasing him. (sarcasm)
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Message 130669 (In Reply to Message 130640)
TGoodman
Posted by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime
on Apr 18, 2004 05:11 PM | Also by DoTheCrimeDoTheTime
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
You know how sexy those BDU's make you look! And what about the slime green summer dress uniforms. Not to mention the lovely black rimmed glasses they issued (we called them MBCD-Military Birth Control Devices) they were so ugly (the glasses) no one would want to have sex with you.
All this in good humor. I just replied to MrTruths statement to DP1 about the rapes/domestic violence that occurs in the military. I know what The Truth is as well as you and DP1.
DTCDTT
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Message 130699 (In Reply to Message 130669)
Posted by Silverthorne
on Apr 18, 2004 11:05 PM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Birth Control Glasses - God do I remember those from Navy bootcamp!
Silverthorne
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Message 130722 (In Reply to Message 130699)
Silver
Posted by dp1
on Apr 19, 2004 01:25 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
We called them BCG's in the Air Force.
Silver, what was your impression of how the women were treated while in the Navy?
DP1
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Message 130728 (In Reply to Message 130722)
Women Sailors
Posted by Silverthorne
on Apr 19, 2004 01:49 AM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Honestly I didnt know any but remember I was early 80's era Navy. Also women didnt serve on warships or submarines so I never ran into them there.
I can't recall ever meeting a woman in uniform in official capacity until I was hospitialized prior to my discharge. My navy shrink was a woman.
Silverthorne
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Message 130756 (In Reply to Message 130614)
TG
Posted by dp1
on Apr 19, 2004 03:34 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
Just curious. Did you report the crime? If so, what was the outcome? If not, why?
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Message 130778 (In Reply to Message 130756)
Nope
Posted by TGoodman
on Apr 19, 2004 01:05 PM | Also by TGoodman
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Kansas,
Country: United States |
The man that raped me made a point of telling me that since he was a Master Sergeant...they would belive him before they believed a PFC....I believed him. Not long after that I tried suicide for the first time.
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Message 130862 (In Reply to Message 130778)
TG
Posted by dp1
on Apr 20, 2004 02:55 AM | Also by dp1
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I had a similar situation where the person didn't comprehend the word "No". I pulled a gun on him and told him I was going to blow his head off. The good news is that I really did mean it, and he believed me and left. But, after that it scared me to death because I came so close to murdering someone. He disappeared for 2 weeks and went AWOL just to get away from me so I wouldn't kill him. They ended up catching him on the west coast and through him in jail. He's lucky I never got a second chance at him (and so am I).
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Thread
124062, alone, Dec 30, 2003 01:27 PM [Alone]
124070, steve, Dec 30, 2003 04:47 PM
124073, dp1, Dec 30, 2003 05:06 PM [Not Alone]
124078, orolan, Dec 30, 2003 07:27 PM
124079, Rejected
124083, Silverthorne, Dec 30, 2003 10:12 PM
124092, Silverthorne, Dec 30, 2003 11:56 PM [Some questions for Alone]
124130, tryingtosurvive, Jan 01, 2004 04:27 AM [Welcome]
124766, vbgal, Jan 11, 2004 08:18 PM [Your not alone now....]
124807, anti, Jan 12, 2004 06:06 AM [ok, now I see...]
124837, tessa, Jan 12, 2004 05:25 PM [I wish you well.]
128000, glasschicken50, Mar 03, 2004 02:23 PM [hello alone]
130537, thumper, Apr 16, 2004 07:39 PM [Im new too!]
130569, TGoodman, Apr 17, 2004 03:29 PM [Hello Thumper]
130577, dp1, Apr 17, 2004 05:20 PM [TG]
130614, TGoodman, Apr 18, 2004 03:52 AM [dp1]
130640, dp1, Apr 18, 2004 01:56 PM [TG]
130669, DoTheCrimeDoTheTime, Apr 18, 2004 05:11 PM [TGoodman]
130699, Silverthorne, Apr 18, 2004 11:05 PM
130722, dp1, Apr 19, 2004 01:25 AM [Silver]
130728, Silverthorne, Apr 19, 2004 01:49 AM [Women Sailors]
130756, dp1, Apr 19, 2004 03:34 AM [TG]
130778, TGoodman, Apr 19, 2004 01:05 PM [Nope]
130862, dp1, Apr 20, 2004 02:55 AM [TG]
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