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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Can it Be Sexual Abuse?

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Message 123963 (In Reply to Message 123943)
Silver

Posted by dp1 on Dec 28, 2003 09:38 PM | Also by dp1

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Florida, Country: United States

When I read the story this morning I couldn't help thinking about your story and how it affected your life up to this point. You could have been him very easily. I guess if one isn't experienced with sexual abuse they don't see it as clearly as others. I don't blame his parents for not knowing, but it's so clear to me and to you I'm sure. We might be wrong but the resemblences are stunning. I needed a tissue with this one too.

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Message 123943

Posted by Silverthorne on Dec 28, 2003 08:15 PM | Also by Silverthorne

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Arizona, Country: United States

<blockquote><span class="mb-quote">"Daniel was a good student until fourth grade, when his grades began to plunge. By fifth grade, our hopes that he might become a doctor were dashed when he flunked health and got some C's and D's in other subjects. By the time he was in sixth grade, a psychologist diagnosed him as having ADHD, and a neurologist prescribed a stimulant, Adderall."</span></blockquote>

That line sounds just like me.  Great smart kid until "something happend" and I started failing in school.

That was BEFORE the suicide though (probably was 8-9?).  But it seemed like a catalyst for the slow spiral downhill this kid seemed to be caught in.

From reading the story I'd have to guess he was sexually abused.  Just because I see alot of myself in that history.   The comments about "making people laugh with little regard to his own needs" (not exact) and "guilty smile" kind of remind me of the forced smiles I used to give people.

I wish there was a way to let everyone see my school pictures (maybe I can send the lower half to Steve and he could post them - showing below the eyes).  One thing very noticable is up until I was raped I had this big smile and twinkle in my eyes.  I looked like the "all american happy boy".  But the fifth grade picture is shockingly different.  The eyes really do look "lifeless" and my mouth is closed, not even a forced smile, ever again.  From then until I graduated I would at best force a slight grin in my school pictures.  Never again that big teeth showing happy smile.

This article had some pictures of this kid.  I noticed the top one and the family portrait.  No smile.  Closed mouth.  Not even a grin.  Only the bottom one seemed "normal" somehow.  It really makes me wonder.

<blockquote><span class="mb-quote">"It was not until August 2000, however, that we saw clear evidence that Daniel's unacknowledged problems were taking a toll. At a rental vacation home at Smith Mountain Lake in southern Virginia, he chose to spend all his time in a windowless basement bedroom, watching television. He got angry whenever we tried to coax him to go boating or swimming."</span></blockquote>

This sounds just like me too. I would lock myself in my room, shades drawn, lights low and read or watch TV.  My privacy was and still is paramount.  Even today I snap at people when interupted.  I just "want to be alone".  Molested children find solace and security in being alone.  Its like a cocoon.

I recently designed a small cabin for myself (800sq feet) and hope to build it in the next few years and move into it.  One thing to note its basically one big room and its laid out very "privately".  Not alot of big windows and I can see everything from anywhere in the main room.  Critical factors to someone who to this day checks door locks 3-4 times before going to bed.  Critical to someone who is very insecure about his safety.

Who knows. I would guess something happend to change him.  If all these changes started at 12-13 and puberty I'd say maybe it was just hormones.  But he started changing in fourth grade.  Thats way to young for that.  Something probably did happen to him.

Your right I needed a tissue.

Silverthorne

Thread

123933, dp1, Dec 28, 2003 04:31 PM [12 Year Old Commits Suicide]
      123938, orolan, Dec 28, 2003 07:41 PM
            123968, Silverthorne, Dec 28, 2003 10:09 PM
                  124038, orolan, Dec 30, 2003 02:50 AM
                        124051, Silverthorne, Dec 30, 2003 07:18 AM [Reply for Orolan]
                              124118, Rejected
                              124119, orolan, Dec 31, 2003 06:22 PM
                                    124134, Silverthorne, Jan 01, 2004 05:36 AM
                  124039, Rejected
      123943, Silverthorne, Dec 28, 2003 08:15 PM
            123963, dp1, Dec 28, 2003 09:38 PM [Silver]
                  123970, Silverthorne, Dec 28, 2003 10:13 PM
                        124270, PVulcan, Jan 05, 2004 01:10 AM [Silver]
                              124275, Silverthorne, Jan 05, 2004 03:00 AM
      123962, KK, Dec 28, 2003 09:18 PM [Maybe]
      123969, Silverthorne, Dec 28, 2003 10:11 PM [Sexual arousal?]
            123973, dp1, Dec 28, 2003 10:31 PM [Erotica Asphyxiation?]
                  123980, Silverthorne, Dec 29, 2003 12:10 AM
      124002, lj, Dec 29, 2003 09:54 AM [Demons not recognized]

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Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Can it Be Sexual Abuse?

Message 123963 (In Reply to Message 123943)Silver

Message 123943

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Can it Be Sexual Abuse?

Message 123963 (In Reply to Message 123943)
Silver