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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Fed up and disgusted - as you should be
Message 122933
Just don't get it anymore
Posted by myoung
on Dec 11, 2003 06:18 PM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
I know I haven't been around in some time but I have been dealing with some issues that have come up. I am posting a link to an article about the prosecutor here in PA that was the DA in my case with my 2 year old and the neighbor teen. Here is the linkhttp://www.poconorecord.com/topstory/
Mark Pazuhanich was supposed to be on my daughter's side. He had the indecent assault charges dropped against the boy who molested my daughter without asking my husband and I how we felt about it. As a matter of fact, I never even met the man. He never called us about the charges or discussed the plan of action . What can I do now?? How can we say this isn't an epidemic when everywhere you can and may turn there are those taking advantage of children in all ranks of life. I'm quite finished with all this crap. I think it is time to simply take action and if that means breaking out the mommyism behavior....then so be it!!
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Message 122963 (In Reply to Message 122933)
Posted by Silverthorne
on Dec 11, 2003 11:43 PM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
myoung,
Can you tell us quick what happend again. I dont remember the details (or post a link to your original post about it).
Why didn't the DA talk to you? Normally they consult the victim in these cases. Or wasn't there enough evidence to try him?
Silverthorne
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Message 122978 (In Reply to Message 122963)
silver
Posted by myoung
on Dec 12, 2003 05:45 AM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
he admitted guilt to all that he was accused of. My daughter told us that he pulled her pants down and she gestured as if he were putting his hand in. She also told us that he said she was bad and that was why he had to do this. He also exposed himself and had her touch him. There were several other small details that we later found out that made sense with both of their stories so we did have an accurate picture. We were never fully sure if he actually digitally penetrated and it was suggested not to put her through the exam because it would be far more traumatizing....so we took that advice. I need anyone reading this to keep in mind that she is a 2 year old and he was two weeks shy of his 14th birthday! No one contacted us from the DA's office. Pretty much, the entir thing went on without us despite all my phonecalls and questions. They apologized afterward for not keeping us more informed. Gee, thanks, ya know! I am just so disgusted with how it all went down and now this. It was like being punched square in the gut.
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Message 123000 (In Reply to Message 122978)
Posted by Silverthorne
on Dec 12, 2003 03:48 PM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
I can't imagine why they wouldn't prosecute if they had a confession. Did he just confess to pulling her pants down or what? Is his family politically connected? This doesn't sound right at all.
Silverthorne
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Message 123002 (In Reply to Message 123000)
I haven't a clue
Posted by myoung
on Dec 12, 2003 04:31 PM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
I have no idea. When I called the DA's office, they told me that they had two charges....indecent exposure and indecent assault. They also told me, at that point, that he would be pleading guilty. I assumed, at that time, to both counts. I found out when the disposition was and they told me but said it wasn't necessary for me to be there. I expressed my concern with not meeting with or talking to the DA but they told me it was cut and dry since they had a confession...blah blah blah. It wasn't until I called their office after the disposition that I found out he was convicted on only the count of indecent exposure. I was furious. They then went on to tell me that it wasn't about the actual charge. It was more about rehab. Although I agree in a juvenile case that this is true, I was concerned about him not having that on his record if he should get caught again. Not to mention the message it sends to the boy. He got a smack on the patties. A light one at that:(
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Message 123006 (In Reply to Message 122933)
Posted by mouseinawheel
on Dec 12, 2003 07:34 PM | Also by mouseinawheel
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Contact the DA and request that you be allowed to submit a written victim impact statement to be entered into the record regarding the child who offended your child. This will give voice to your concerns and allow agencies responsible for his care to appreciate your concerns over the handling of the matter.
It seems there was a lack of physical truama to your daughter. If this is the case, it's quite likely that she will suffer no long term emotional consequences as the reslut of this asault. In reality, you will quite possibly be more impacted by it than she. I'd urge you not to make this the focal point of her childhood and not to let the damage done to you re-traumatize your daughter at a later date. At two years she is barely capable of understanding any sort of moral judgement and with no physical truama or pain asosiated with the event, she is likely to view it as inconsequential unless you condition her otherwise. I'd urge you not to do this. Let her childhood be a normal happy on and allow her to move on freely from this experience.
Mouse.
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Message 123017 (In Reply to Message 123006)
yep
Posted by myoung
on Dec 12, 2003 08:23 PM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
I did fill out a victim impact statement. That came from the victim/witness advocates shortly after the complaint was filed. My issue really isn't my daughter (she is slowly bringing her recollections of it and talking about it to a halt.....thank God. It was hard to hear over and over again from her little mouth) so much as it is the boy and his lack of understanding of what he's done. My other two children are suffering far more than I. The older brother of this boy asks my son if he wants rides home from the bus stop and school on a regular basis. He usually does this while the offender is right there in the car with him. I have always been concerned about the older boy because he was always very aggressive with my older daughter. I had a talk with him about it but he just never realized when he was being inappropriate and continued the behavior despite my request. My daughter is afraid of him. She is now 15 and he is 18 and she just tries to never be where he is. They seem to disregard our feelings completely especially with regard to this situation. I was approached at my mailbox by the (offender) boy and he tried to make light conversation. My son runs into him all day long at school when classes are changing (he's tried taking different routes but he ends up being late for class....he has talked with his counselor about it. I think it stinks! We have spent a lot of years gutting our house and making it our home with our own hands and now I just feel like moving. The family lives directly next door. I see them all the time. It is very uncomfortable. My son has also witnessed this boy on the bus sitting with elementary (catholic school) girls that share the public schoolbus home. He was touching their hands (trying to hold them), giving them high fives (there were seats available with children his age but he specifically chose their seat). The family act as if nothing has happened. I worry that my daughter was not the first and won't be the last. When we (my husband and myself) confronted him about the event in front of his parents, I specifically asked him if he had access to other children of her age group and he said yes. I asked him boys or girs and he said both. His mother just gasped. He knew what I meant when I said access and so did she. He admitted it and nothing else was done. He is to have a year of therapy and probabtion and then a review at the end of that year. I don't discuss it in front of or with my now 3 year old. This happened two months shy of her 3rd bday. Once in a while she'll make a comment but they are becoming more rare. I know she won't be scarred by this. I am worried about this boy and whether he is being molested by someon. I am also just plain disgusted that this is the fourth time in my life I have encountered this including my tenant and now the DA. When does the madness end? I think the DA was improper and should not have been trying cases while he was still an active alcoholic and apparently an active child molester by the sound of it. I am a recovered alcoholic myself and I know I was never in a position to make good decisions/judgements until I was alcohol free for a long time. It just impairs your everyday thinking even when you aren't drinking (reality is always a little distorted). He was just elected judge. He shouldn't be sitting in judgement of anyone right now or maybe never.
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Message 123036 (In Reply to Message 123017)
Posted by Silverthorne
on Dec 13, 2003 04:19 AM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Well this boy certainly has some unhealthy sexuality going on. I'm frankly very surprised they didnt run him thru the system THEN recommend treatment. Even if they gave him probation I think its important he has the record. Do you know if they called it a stay of imposition or something? Where if he completes the treatment and has no other offenses there is no record? Or did they really not charge him with anything?
I ask because they really couldn't force him to treatment WITHOUT charging him. Double check I think you'll find some kind of plea agreement did take place. One that would guarantee he has no record if he completes his therapy and probation.
Silverthorne
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Message 123041 (In Reply to Message 123036)
silver
Posted by myoung
on Dec 13, 2003 06:45 AM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
I do know that he was charged with the indecent exposure but that is all I know and that is all that will be on his record. So, if he ever does this again....God forbid.....they will look at his record and think he is just an exhibitionist!! Then, I would imagine they would still find some way to lighten the sentence since his first offense wasn't "so bad". I agree 100% and it seems clear to me that there is something very wrong in Monroe County. He needs to have some paper trail if he should offend again during his teen years....well....and beyond too I guess. Here in PA there was a law passed recently that if a juvenile SO is age 14 and up they are placed on the registry and their record is not extinguished when they turn 18. Normally it would have been like they started with a clean slate at 18 but they changed that. This kid was just shy (a couple of weeks) of his 14th birthday so it seems that there are a lot of things they do differently for 13 and under SO's. Seems he squeaked by on a technicality but my fear is that it isn't teaching him anything. If it were, he would show remorse, shame or something but he doesn't. I am going to haunt the DA's office like the plague to see if I can get them to change their evil ways with regard to the victims and the amount of information we get or in this case, don't get. They treated us as if we weren't even a part of this whole thing. It really sucks....what else can I say.... sorry this doesn't read very well but it's late and my eyes are getting blurry. I was trying to watch lord of the rings...the two towers straight through. Wow is it long....but very good all the same:)
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Message 123048 (In Reply to Message 123041)
Wow, myoung. I seem to have heard of retrials in cases like this - see message
Posted by ladyjane
on Dec 13, 2003 04:25 PM | Also by ladyjane
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arkansas,
Country: United States |
Something about making convictions null and void because of misbehavior of judges, lawyers, or DAs. Do you think it would work if you pointed out that the DA has been charged with exactly what he let your neighbor get away with?
Sorry, I may not come off as a very deep thinker, but I would want to see the blood of the person who touched my baby.
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Message 123080 (In Reply to Message 123048)
ladyjane
Posted by myoung
on Dec 14, 2003 03:16 PM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
I cannot express enough my deep sorrow for how helpless i feel. I have felt helpless since that horrilble day in 1991when my (first born)3.5 year old daughter told my very new boyfriend (who would eventually become my husband) that what comes out of daddy's pee pee is white, sticky and tastes yucky!! That happened after one of her weekend visits with her father (whom I was separated from at the time). Then to have a tenant come to live in my building who lied on his application about his felony record of aggravated assault (leaving out the indecent assault part.....raping a two year old should have been aggravated rape.....gee, but it was the first time he'd been caught so I guess they let him off a bit easy with 4 lousy years in jail) but anyway, then my 2 3/4 year old telling us of the neighbors misdeeds and now the prosecutor. Not to mention the fact that I have to live 50 yards away from my daughter's offender and see him frequently........there is a lot of blood I'd like to see just for the pure satisfaction of justice being served righteously. It's so sad when I read about people who are charged with crimes that definitely could have been "true" misunderstandings or misinterpretations of behavior or whatever (like orolan). Then you have cases like what I have experienced where there is a lot of evidence or the guilty party actually pleads guilty and they get smacked on their patties and told not to do it again where the other misunderstood person gets 20 years in prison (placed on a registry) for something they didn't actually do but got caught up in the consequences of hysteria and/or paranoia. I am at a loss for feelings right now. I just feel numb. In PA, quite readily puts the constitutional rights of a criminal before the importance of those of a child. I spoke to the auditor general's official spokesman on Wednesday this week and to my surprise, he actually made that statement as well. He had a meeting with Laura Ahearn the next day (she is the president of parents for megans law)That's pretty awful knowing that he recognizes this too and agrees. Get this, the motto of PA is "PA puts children 1st". Haaaa....what a joke. My husband is a teacher and he knows that isn't true. His budget is slashed every year and he gets more and more students in a classroom that only safely houses 18 kids. He cannot give quality education to the 25-27 they try to smoosh into his classroom. He is a technology teacher and has a lot of dangerous tools and equipment. He rated his classroom at 18 students for safety and the district wholeheartedly agreed due to the nature of his teaching and the tools involved. They really don't give two craps about the kids....they like to appear as if they do......and of course it sounds great to have others believe that's the intention....but that's about all it is (image, perception). It really comes down to the almighty dollar. My school district has the lowest math scores of all the high schools in the nation...yet, I live in a very high taxed area with 1/2 to 3/4 million dollar homes and up. I am trying to get passed my anger and this venting really does help so I thank everyone on the forum for "listening". i see my therapist on Tuesday's and we do acupuncture, biofeedback and all that good stuff but now it has turned from emotional stress to physical stress. The muscles in my neck and shoulders won't even let go anymore (they are rock solid knots). I need to find an outlet for this but I am not sure what to do.....any suggestions?
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Message 123119 (In Reply to Message 123080)
I hear your pain
Posted by tryingtosurvive
on Dec 15, 2003 05:20 PM | Also by tryingtosurvive
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Australia |
Dear myoung,
I too have found support and understanding from this forum which seems the unlikeliest of places. Before the spectre of sex crimes found itself a part of my life I never thought I would confer with peadophiles and victims and those unwittingly involved in the spinning knives of this whole aspect of the human condition.
Though you dont know me I hope that my "Listening" brings you some solace. My thoughts are with you and I will not comment on the specifics of your case because I am in no position to begin to imagine what you might be going through.
On the specifics of the stress you are experiencing and it's physical manifestations may I suggest Martial Arts training ? A reputable and spiritually oriented Karate Do Jo might provde a way of channelling your Chi and healing your body. The initail meditation session calms and clears the mind and the ensuing workout focuses and cleans your muscles and burns off the "bad blood" it can sublimate anger and engender feelings of kinship with your fellow Karateka. Maybe Tai Chi would be more appropraite - just be carefull you dont find yourself amoung a destructive or agressive " block head " school.
Just a thought - it works for me.
Whatever happens I wish you and your loved ones Peace and Healing.
Regards
TTS
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Message 124372 (In Reply to Message 122933)
isn't this nice.....
Posted by myoung
on Jan 06, 2004 11:53 PM | Also by myoung
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Pennsylvania,
Country: United States |
Here is the link to our wonderful new judges swearing in! http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-pazuhanichjan06,0,626749.story?coll=all-newslocal-hed
I feel more safe and secure all the time around here....
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Message 124808 (In Reply to Message 124372)
to myoung...
Posted by anti
on Jan 12, 2004 06:12 AM | Also by anti
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
please fight all you can to get justice dont let this person go unpunished, he will repeat it more than likely anyhow, save another child, please.
I know first hand how hard it is for you and how you hurt, but you must do all in your power to prosecute him.
anti
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Message 124967 (In Reply to Message 124808)
as you should be
Posted by FindingPeace
on Jan 13, 2004 10:04 PM | Also by FindingPeace
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Oregon,
Country: United States |
Fight for your daughter, fight tooth and nail. Someday she will be all to aware of what happened to her and she will have a rare opportunity to find the comfort and full support of her parents. My mother didn't believe me, even after I became suicidal. She just thought I was a normal pre-teen and allowed her husband the opportunity to continue the abuse. We have a very strained relationship because of this. To me, her not helping me or believing me was and is extremely painful. Your daughter is lucky. If all else fails, go to your local news stations. Nothing like rocking the political/social boat to help your precious daughter. I applaud you for your devotion. FindingPeace
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Thread
122933, myoung, Dec 11, 2003 06:18 PM [Just don't get it anymore]
122963, Silverthorne, Dec 11, 2003 11:43 PM
122978, myoung, Dec 12, 2003 05:45 AM [silver]
123000, Silverthorne, Dec 12, 2003 03:48 PM
123002, myoung, Dec 12, 2003 04:31 PM [I haven't a clue]
123006, mouseinawheel, Dec 12, 2003 07:34 PM
123017, myoung, Dec 12, 2003 08:23 PM [yep]
123036, Silverthorne, Dec 13, 2003 04:19 AM
123041, myoung, Dec 13, 2003 06:45 AM [silver]
123048, ladyjane, Dec 13, 2003 04:25 PM [Wow, myoung. I seem to have hear...]
123080, myoung, Dec 14, 2003 03:16 PM [ladyjane]
123119, tryingtosurvive, Dec 15, 2003 05:20 PM [I hear your pain]
123081, Rejected
124372, myoung, Jan 06, 2004 11:53 PM [isn't this nice.....]
124808, anti, Jan 12, 2004 06:12 AM [to myoung...]
124967, FindingPeace, Jan 13, 2004 10:04 PM [as you should be]
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