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Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner
Thread (Discussion): Frustrated with the system
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Message 122368 (In Reply to Message 122022)
similar but different situation/my story
Posted by firefly42
on Nov 27, 2003 04:12 AM | Also by firefly42
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 40 - 49,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I was molested by my older brother-in-law when I was 13. I didn' t know it at the time, but he had already molested several girls in the homes where he did 'pest control' for my Dad's business (Yes, my Dad knew this and left me alone with him all summer). My Dad somehow persuaded (we're beginning to wonder about my DAD) the 3 customers not to press charges, but to trust my Dad to make sure he got help. Obviously my Dad did Not make sure that he got help and my b-in-law went on to molest their baby sitter and Who Knows HOW many other girls, no, people over the years. At one point my sister said she was concerned by his degree of 'special interest' and affection with her 5 yr old daughter. In my 20's a pastor who was counseling me for depression told me that I needed to confront my b-in-law as an adult. I did, and he immediately flipped back into the seductive mode in which he molested me; he smacked his lips as kissing and told me that he had always loved me. Well, I told my sister about this and he ended up preventing her from participating in the family until I 'retracted' my story. After months of pressure from all the family members, and upon the advent of my baby sister's wedding (to which my older sister would not be allowed to go), I said, Maybe it's Possible I misunderstood. CURSES. At my sister's wedding reception he passed me a hateful note saying that I had made the whole thing up as an excuse for my own 'irresponsibility'. The pervert won. For the next near 20 yrs my Dad palled (sp?)around with my b-in-law (we all feel he was the son my Dad always wanted) at family gatherings and I kept my mouth shut. Now I get an email from my sister: Over the years she has learned that he abused his sister, sodomized his brother, was accused and 'investigated' for molesting an elderly patient at the nursing home at which he worked...and Now, Finally the revelation that he had abused her daughter. PROBLEM: Statutes of limitations for all of us except his daughter (now 21)who won't press charges (and ofcourse whatever strangers he flashes in the park). POINT: Besides the absurdity of minimizing 'family abuse'(likewise, heterosexual abuse of adolescents is grossly minimized), the Family abuse may only be the abuse they are AWARE of. (BTW, he has been fired from MANY jobs over the years (he's a nurse); people tend to not want to be Bothered with the messiness of pressing charges). POINT: abusers come in many stripes; my b-in-law abused girls, boys, and most likely elderly patients. (It just occurred to me how 'nice' and 'interested' he was to the old folks in our church) He is now residing in a trailer park for senior citizens. Since I have no legal recourse, I'm thinking of making a 'concerned citizen call' to get the cops to keep a look-out, since I expect him to 'attack' again soon. My sister who is in the process of divorcing him said he just informed her that she is withholding his marital rights from him (He demanded sex nightly throughout their marriage) and that she is putting him "in a dangerous position". Sounds like a threat to abuse to me. Once I find out the legal grounds for 'libel' I am thinking of informing his employer and trailer park owner of his history. Suggestions appreciated.
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Message 122022
Posted by Silverthorne
on Nov 20, 2003 05:24 PM | Also by Silverthorne
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Arizona,
Country: United States |
Thread
121273, h7482, Nov 08, 2003 04:02 AM
121275, dp1, Nov 08, 2003 04:21 AM [How About Help?]
121277, h7482, Nov 08, 2003 04:28 AM
121281, dp1, Nov 08, 2003 04:50 AM [Counselor]
121283, dp1, Nov 08, 2003 05:10 AM
121298, h7482, Nov 08, 2003 06:17 AM
121297, h7482, Nov 08, 2003 06:09 AM
121306, dp1, Nov 08, 2003 02:41 PM [Don't Get Frustrated]
121315, h7482, Nov 08, 2003 06:04 PM
121345, dp1, Nov 09, 2003 05:00 AM [Don't Blame You]
121348, h7482, Nov 09, 2003 06:54 AM
121316, myoung, Nov 08, 2003 06:11 PM [wow.....]
121349, h7482, Nov 09, 2003 07:21 AM
121353, tessa, Nov 09, 2003 10:57 AM
121382, h7482, Nov 10, 2003 06:24 AM
125004, anti, Jan 14, 2004 07:36 AM [h7482]
121383, h7482, Nov 10, 2003 06:33 AM
121399, tessa, Nov 11, 2003 01:20 AM [to h7482]
121519, h7482, Nov 13, 2003 06:35 AM
125006, anti, Jan 14, 2004 07:41 AM [new to you..]
125005, anti, Jan 14, 2004 07:40 AM [tessa, thank you...]
121411, PVulcan, Nov 11, 2003 09:05 AM
121423, dp1, Nov 11, 2003 05:01 PM [No Problem with Divorce]
121521, h7482, Nov 13, 2003 07:04 AM
121531, dp1, Nov 13, 2003 02:20 PM [True]
121858, h7482, Nov 19, 2003 04:45 AM
121520, h7482, Nov 13, 2003 06:51 AM
125003, anti, Jan 14, 2004 07:35 AM [to tessa]
121593, DoTheCrimeDoTheTime, Nov 15, 2003 01:30 AM [Take a Stand]
121644, Silverthorne, Nov 15, 2003 11:41 PM
121656, dp1, Nov 16, 2003 01:57 AM
121662, Silverthorne, Nov 16, 2003 03:32 AM
122200, katie, Nov 23, 2003 06:56 AM [both]
122209, Silverthorne, Nov 23, 2003 04:09 PM
121667, ladyjane, Nov 16, 2003 03:47 AM [I understand.]
121684, dp1, Nov 16, 2003 05:34 PM [True]
121860, h7482, Nov 19, 2003 05:08 AM
122058, ladyjane, Nov 21, 2003 03:57 AM [Well shoot.]
122059, TGoodman, Nov 21, 2003 04:42 AM [I know how you feel also]
121859, h7482, Nov 19, 2003 04:49 AM
121866, dp1, Nov 19, 2003 11:39 AM [Release Forms]
121912, Silverthorne, Nov 19, 2003 05:18 PM
122003, h7482, Nov 20, 2003 07:27 AM
122002, h7482, Nov 20, 2003 07:16 AM
122009, dp1, Nov 20, 2003 01:07 PM [I concur]
122022, Silverthorne, Nov 20, 2003 05:24 PM
122368, firefly42, Nov 27, 2003 04:12 AM [similar but different sit...]
122413, PVulcan, Nov 27, 2003 10:21 PM [Civil System]
122420, Silverthorne, Nov 27, 2003 11:02 PM
123409, h7482, Dec 20, 2003 10:55 PM
125024, steve, Jan 14, 2004 04:33 PM [You need support ...]
125452, poetsdreamscape, Jan 18, 2004 12:25 PM [maybe]
124986, ListenLearnAndLove, Jan 14, 2004 02:32 AM
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