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Thread (Discussion): Married to a molester?

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Message 120483 (In Reply to Message 120480)
Leaving home may be temporary

Posted by steve on Oct 25, 2003 11:26 PM | Also by steve

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Virginia, Country: United States

> I am in Arkansas.

ladyjane, please click "Edit Profile" from the top of the page and update your state. Thanks.

> I didn't want to leave my home because it is going to be so difficult to do.

Leaving your home may only be a temporary situation. You need to leave because it'll be difficult for you to get your thoughts straight, discuss with the police and get support for yourself if you live in the same house with your husband. If you can get him to leave that's another option, but you leaving is probably easier and hopefully temporary.

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Message 120480
Not from CA - I must have goofed.

Posted by ladyjane on Oct 25, 2003 10:50 PM | Also by ladyjane

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: Arkansas, Country: United States

I have a scrolling wheel on my mouse and I may have hit it.  I am in Arkansas.  I live out in the country.

One thing:  I do NOT want him to get away with this.  I as firmly believe he should be arrested as if I were not married to him. I do not understand why they haven't picked him up yet.

Thanks for pointing out to me that it may look like I was hiding something, I'd never thought of that.

Also, maybe it makes me look bad, but having a 16-yo working for you is different from a 12-yo.  All these boys worked for him.  While going after a 16-yo is pretty repugnant to me, at least somebody that age probably has what it takes to speak up. I don't believe a 12yo would.

He has been calling and calling our house for a few months, asking DH to take him back in, saying they need the money.  His parents have also called.  To give DH at least some credit (where I'm not entirely sure it is due) he wouldn't have him here.  The boy only told after DH refused to hire him back.

I think that is why his parents haven't had DH arrested yet.  I think they believe this boy bears some of the blame for trying to get to come back here.

I told his mother that even if her son had called here and said "let me come back so we can have sex" it is still not his fault in any way, because at his age (14 now) that is still not consent, because he is a child.

I am just now realizing that I had an obligation to go to the authorities to begin with.  I didn't have proof and I so desperately wanted it to NOT be true.

Hiding it from the community was important to me because of our children, but I am beginning to see that this is not my problem and the important thing is to keep it from happening again.  If that means his picture goes on the wall at the store with the other child molesters in this area, so be it.

I didn't want to leave my home because it is going to be so difficult to do - I have horses and I work here from my home - and because I haven't done anything to make me have to leave, but it sure is going to be hard to live in this community after he's been sent away for this.

Thank you all for replying to my post.  It is such a relief to be able to express my fears to people who understand.

Thread

120417, ladyjane, Oct 24, 2003 06:48 PM [This is a long story, sorry.]
      120418, steve, Oct 24, 2003 07:08 PM [Get counseling for yourself, stay strong]
      120419, tessa, Oct 24, 2003 07:46 PM [Please listen.]
      120420, tessa, Oct 24, 2003 07:51 PM [Sorry]
            120426, orolan, Oct 24, 2003 10:39 PM
            120431, PVulcan, Oct 24, 2003 11:17 PM
                  120435, SurvivorForever, Oct 25, 2003 12:49 AM [Lady]
      120436, dp1, Oct 25, 2003 01:22 AM [Call 911]
            120455, Silverthorne, Oct 25, 2003 03:57 AM [Call the cops]
      120459, myoung, Oct 25, 2003 05:01 AM [just a question, not a criticism]
            120464, steve, Oct 25, 2003 01:17 PM
                  120479, myoung, Oct 25, 2003 09:12 PM [oops, didn't even notice]
                        120480, ladyjane, Oct 25, 2003 10:50 PM [Not from CA - I must have goofed.]
                              120483, steve, Oct 25, 2003 11:26 PM [Leaving home may be temporary]
                                    120510, ladyjane, Oct 26, 2003 03:08 PM [Leaving would be a matter of ...]
                                          120517, orolan, Oct 26, 2003 04:59 PM
                              120557, myoung, Oct 27, 2003 12:51 PM [mixed bag]

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Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Married to a molester?

Message 120483 (In Reply to Message 120480)Leaving home may be temporary

Message 120480Not from CA - I must have goofed.

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Married to a molester?

Message 120483 (In Reply to Message 120480)
Leaving home may be temporary

Message 120480
Not from CA - I must have goofed.