Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Net Nanny 5
The world's leading parental control software, controls access to websites and other online content such as Internet-based games, blocks file sharing of music, images and videos, and monitors a user's Internet activity. Know what your child is up to! Click here for more information.

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Survivor's Story (Forever)

Switch to Flat View

In order to post a message to a new thread or reply to existing messages you must be logged in. If you'd like to post messages please login or register as a new user.

Message 120504 (In Reply to Message 120058)
Another "survivor" of a different situation

Posted by lj on Oct 26, 2003 08:49 AM | Also by lj

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 50 - 59, State: California, Country: United States

Survivor:

I couldn't find the post to where you explained why you were a "survivor" rather than a "victim," but I thought you might appreciate this excerpt from an interview with Dr. Tana Dineen, a Canadian psychologist:

"Get on with life

Ms. Dineen remembers a young woman who came to see her with a specific request. A Christian Iranian, the woman had grown up in Tehran where she had married and had a child. One day, the police arrested her and her husband. She was imprisoned for eight months and repeatedly interrogated about her husband's activities. She discovered her husband had been tortured and executed. Eventually, she was released and, with help from her parents, fled to Canada with her daughter.

When she came to Ms. Dineen, she described her experiences of brutality and torture. She told of her fear, her nightmares, her loneliness and sense of loss. What most impressed Ms. Dineen, though, was the woman's refusal to cast herself as a victim. Despite her ordeal she was getting on with her life. She had learned to speak English and had been admitted to university. What she wanted from a psychologist was some help to develop ways to control her occasional feelings of panic that interfered with her concentration.

``She made it clear that she wanted to create a new life. She was a `survivor' already; so why call her a `victim'?

Sounds like both you and this person have a lot of internal strength.

See an abbreviation or acronym, but don't know what it stands for? Consult the Glossary.

Switch to Flat View

Message 120058
Red Flags - Go With The Gut Feeling ALL THE TIME!

Posted by SurvivorForever on Oct 18, 2003 08:43 AM | Also by SurvivorForever

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: California, Country: United States

To give everyone a little insight, I am a former registered PI. My firm was hired by “A State” to run the DHS Program. ((DHS) Designated Habitual Sex Offender). I managed to get in the heads of some of these guy’s and seen more then my share. I was the operations manager for the firm. They tell me I was great at what I did. One day, maybe I just might go back to it. I do miss it.

I guess I had to give a little background to let everyone know that what happened to me CAN happen to anyone.

I left my position as a PI due to family issues. Mainly due to the fact I was NEVER home. I was in a 14 year relationship that ended anyway. I took a very low paying job at a local home improvement store. 
On July 13, 2001, (Friday the 13th) a fairly good looking man came into the store and we chatted for a while. The first conversation lasted approximately 20 to 25 minuets. I thought he was good looking – he said he was doing repairs at a friends close by. He asked me what I liked to do when I was not working. I said “I love to fish”. And I did.
The conversation turned into 50 questions. They all came from him and all were directed to who I was and what I liked to do. Of course, his answers matched mine to a tee. It was a perfect match of interests.

To make a long story short – This man asked me out on a fishing date (he was VERY persistent) and I said yes. After all, he asked me if I would go fishing with him.
We agreed to meet at a restaurant close to the lake where the fishing was going to take place. I had never been there before nor have I ever heard of the lake. It was a small rock quarry that had been filled and stocked with fish. He gave me his cell number and directions to the restaurant (bar), I stuffed it into my back pocket of my jeans and he left the store. I lost his number.
He came back into the store 30 minutes before the end of my shift to tell me he gave me the wrong directions. He gave me the directions again and his number again and we agreed on 4:30 as a time to meet. The directions he was giving me were very vague, I told him I was unsure about where the place was and did not know how to get there. We agreed to meet at a department store close to the site and he would drive us there. I then agreed to give him my cell number in case I lost his again.
I was running late due to having to pick up the fishing poles at my house and drop my daughter off at my sister’s house. He proceeded to call me 5 times to ask me “Where the hell I was”. I thought he was kidding and took it as a joke. 
We met at a department store parking lot at 5:15. I ran into the store to use the lady’s room. (Little Insight –so sorry – but - that time of the month (this all will mean something later)).
I got back into his truck and he again, started on me with the running late attitude. “What the hell took so long – damn I hate slow women”. I could not tell if he was kidding or serious. I thought we were going to head to the lake to do a little fishing and he said “I want to take you somewhere”. I said ok. He drove down a little side street just adjacent to the parking lot where my car was.  He proceeded to drive off the road under a viaduct and across a small stream. I asked him “are we going to get in trouble for being here” and he said “No” he had ties. I knew better but let him go. I got an eerie sot of feeling that something was going to happen. I thought the police would come and we would get in trouble for being there.

We got to an area that was sum what deserted, he stopped the truck and said ‘Finally – no people” and looked at me. He leaned over to kiss me and I drew back a bit. With that, a man walking a dog came across us. The guy I was with was VERY upset and said “all I want to do is be alone with you for a couple of minutes - God Damn it”.
I knew at this time the man I was with had some "Strange" problem and I would never see this guy again. I would stay for the rest of the date and thought of nothing but just going fishing. In the past, I would always go fishing by myself because I had no one to go with.  My daughter was not into it and hated the fact of me even asking.  I figured I would take advantage of someone, anyone fishing along with me.

We drove out from under the viaduct and were on out way to the restaurant. We talked about various things throughout the drive. The conversation on his part always drifted to sex. He point blank asked me if he was going to “get lucky” that night and I said NO. I told him it was that time of the month also, I was not into “one hit wonders.”  To change the conversation, I told him about my previous position as a PI. He told me he used to be one too and that he would carry a gun everywhere he went. He the said he had one in the truck we were in, and it was loaded. I told him about my ties to law enforcement, mainly that my sister and brother in law were both police officers. I went on to tell him that my brother-in-law was a very well known police detective and I had learned everything I know from him. I would travel to visit them just to do ride longs and pick up pointers from him.

My date was not impressed. It seemed that anything I would say about myself or what I had accomplished only seemed to provoke an aggravated “I did better than that” comment back at me.

We got to the restaurant at 6:30 pm. In the time we were there -  1 hour, - I had 3 vodka & tonic’s (short ones with a ton of ice and mostly tonic). He went to the bar all three times for the drinks. I was fine. We left and stopped at a small store for beer. I ran in and paid for a 12 pack. He came in shortly after I started to pay and showed the “Temper” again. He asked me what was taking so long. 
Mind you, I was in the store for less then 3 minutes. I got back into the truck and we were on out way to go fishing. He grabbed two beers from the package and opened them as we drove.  He handed me one after playing with the cap and the top of the bottle for a couple of seconds. He then opened his and began to drink and drive. I held mine between my legs in fear of getting in trouble with the police. He asked me if I was going to hold it there forever or drink it. I began to lift the bottle to my lips when he shouted at me ‘What the HELL, you trying to get me a DUI?” He meant it this time and I knew it. He continued to drink his beer. I managed to take two sips out of that beer, for the rest of the ride to the lake. I became very quite and just listed to him talk.

We drove down a VERY remote single lane dirt road that was covered on both sides with trees and heavy brush. We came to a small opening from the trees and the very small lake was revealed. This time, my date threw a “Serious” fit. There were people there fishing. We drove along the dirt path that ran aside the small lake until he parked by the people that had been there fishing.

We pulled up to the other people fishing; there was no other place to go. I got out of the truck and went for the poles and gear in the back. As I started to grab the poles from the back of the truck, I felt a little dizzy. By the time I had the poles in my hand and walked 50 to 60 yard’s to the shore, I had to sit down. I could feel uneasiness in my feet and hands. It was like I had been sitting on them for hours, but the feeling began to travel slowly up my arms. I took the container of worms and set them down next to me. At that time, my date came from behind and wrapped one arm around my neck and with the other shoved his beer bottle into my mouth and forced me to drink some. I tried to shove the bottle away. It had smashed into my teeth and hurt.  He sat the beer next to me, laughed and walked back to the car. There was a man fishing with his 2 daughters about 15 yards from me who seen what just had happened. He approached me and asked me if we had een dating long. I said no – we just met today and I never want to see the guy again. He set his pole down and walked to where my date was standing. 
I sat on the shore and felt intensely dizzy at that point. My eyes began to cross. My head was bobbing and I tried to stand. I sat back down. I thought I was drunk and I got VERY embarrassed. The man walked back to me and said my date was just on the phone telling someone that “he was definitely going to get some tonight”.
As the man walked back to where he was fishing, I tried to stand again, this time I made it to my feet. I managed to walk to my dates truck (he was there - just ending a call using my cell phone).
He grabbed my arms and told me he wanted to talk and draged me futher into the brush. I had fallen several times in the process of trying to walk. My mind what there - I just didn't have ANY motor skills left.
I was violently raped repeatedly throughout the night. When I was able to get my motor skills back – (at 1 am) I managed to escape.

Yes - He drugged me. It was GHB.
He was convicted this past January. Now serving (plea bargen) 6 years and must register as a Violent Sex Offender. He was not on the list before and does have a past.

I would love to get more into detail - but I don't think Steve would like such a massave post. The details of my  escape and his capture is VERY interesting.

Survivor Forever!

Thread

120058, SurvivorForever, Oct 18, 2003 08:43 AM [Red Flags - Go With The Gut Feeling ALL TH...]
      120082, dp1, Oct 19, 2003 01:03 AM [Awesome Real Life Story!]
            120106, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 04:17 PM [Oh!]
                  120154, SurvivorForever, Oct 20, 2003 04:23 AM [orolan - it's ok]
                  120158, myoung, Oct 20, 2003 04:33 AM [Reply to Oh]
            120159, SurvivorForever, Oct 20, 2003 04:34 AM [CREDIT]
      120132, Silverthorne, Oct 19, 2003 11:45 PM [Wow]
            120152, SurvivorForever, Oct 20, 2003 04:17 AM [The Escape]
      120162, myoung, Oct 20, 2003 05:16 AM [Marta]
            120196, myoung, Oct 20, 2003 04:10 PM [survivor forever]
            120211, SurvivorForever, Oct 20, 2003 11:09 PM [Myoung]
                  120225, SurvivorForever, Oct 21, 2003 12:33 AM [The Capture - End of story]
                        120230, Silverthorne, Oct 21, 2003 01:00 AM [Equalizer]
                        120237, Rachel, Oct 21, 2003 02:05 AM [A true survivor]
                              120243, SurvivorForever, Oct 21, 2003 05:08 AM [RE; Rachel]
                        120241, dp1, Oct 21, 2003 04:11 AM [DP1's Version of A Good Ending]
                              120519, orolan, Oct 26, 2003 05:21 PM
                                    120546, dp1, Oct 27, 2003 04:15 AM [Failure To Eat Fetuccini Alfredo]
                                          120566, orolan, Oct 27, 2003 02:16 PM [Pot Roast]
                                                120619, dp1, Oct 28, 2003 02:47 PM [Substantial and Technical Vi...]
                                                      120632, Silverthorne, Oct 28, 2003 09:42 PM [Question for DP1]
                                                            120641, dp1, Oct 29, 2003 02:33 AM [False Reporting]
                                                                  120644, Silverthorne, Oct 29, 2003 04:11 AM [What if?]
                                                                        120655, dp1, Oct 29, 2003 04:50 AM [Lying to a Prob...]
                                                                              120677, Silverthorne, Oct 29, 2003 05:13 PM
                                                                                    120691, dp1, Oct 29, 2003 10:32 PM [What Kind...]
                                                                                          120692, Silverthorne, Oct 29, 2003 10:53 PM
                                                                                                120700, dp1, Oct 29, 2003 11:54 PM [Vic...]
            120234, SurvivorForever, Oct 21, 2003 01:23 AM [myoung (my heart goes out)]
                  120239, myoung, Oct 21, 2003 03:35 AM [thanks for that]
      120504, lj, Oct 26, 2003 08:49 AM [Another "survivor" of a different situation]
            120528, PVulcan, Oct 26, 2003 06:49 PM
                  120552, lj, Oct 27, 2003 08:05 AM [survivor vs victim label]
                        120562, SurvivorForever, Oct 27, 2003 01:54 PM [All Is Back To Normal]

Forum Home | Top of Thread

Tell a Friend about this page.

Sex Offender Registries, Sex Offenders Search, News, Info and Discussion

Forum: Victims and Survivors CornerThread (Discussion): Survivor's Story (Forever)

Message 120504 (In Reply to Message 120058)Another "survivor" of a different situation

Message 120058Red Flags - Go With The Gut Feeling ALL THE TIME!

Thread

Forum: Victims and Survivors Corner

Thread (Discussion): Survivor's Story (Forever)

Message 120504 (In Reply to Message 120058)
Another "survivor" of a different situation

Message 120058
Red Flags - Go With The Gut Feeling ALL THE TIME!