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Forum: Old Message Board
Thread (Discussion): QUESTIONS??????? Switch to Flat View
Message 118285 (In Reply to Message 118280) Tia - you need to strike now!
Posted by x_Silverthorne
on Oct 15, 2003 05:16 PM | Also by x_Silverthorne
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If he admitted ANYTHING to the CYS caseworker you MUST GET A COPY OF THOSE FILES!!!!!!
Even if he played it down by saying touched you and didnt do anything else (you mention taking your virginity) this alone is damning.
In for a penny in for a pound.
You MUST get those file copies and put them somewhere secure like a safe deposit box. It is you ONLY proof he did this. Also you need to try and talk to him and record the conversation. I know recording conversations on the phone is illegal in most states but maybe going to speak to him in person with a hidden recorder and getting him to acknowledge what he did would help.
Try this scenario:
1) Hire a PI to set you up with a hidden recorder. 2) Call your stepdad and tell him you need to talk to him. If he resists tell him its either talk to you or the police. He'll talk. 3) Go over and see him. Talk to him in private.
Tia: Dad, I know what you did and so do you. You violated me and I'm upset. Now your threatening to sue me. Why?
Dad: blah, blah, blah
All he needs to do is say "yeah but that was a long time ago" or "If you drop this I'll not sue you", anything like that to get him to confess directly or indirectly to abusing you.
Then when you have the tape LOCK IT UP in the safe deposit box. Its your insurance.
I'll tell you what. If down the road he does decide to sue you, first it will be very hard to do because he'll be dragging out all his dirty laundry into the public eye, second its very expensive. Unless he has money he wont be able to do this. Third you have an admission of improper touching. Any arguments he makes about "you leading him on" will be crucified in the courts. I mean honestly the thought of an 11 year old seducing her father is so abhorrant to our courts they'll never buy it.
You on the other hand have everything. To be honest since you have a tape (hopefully), CYS reports with his admission, and other stuff, maybe YOU SHOULD SUE HIM.
Go on the offensive. While he has no case and would have to hire a lawyer on retainer (like it or not) you on the other hand are a crime victim and probably could find a lawyer or legal aid to represent you for a percentage of any settlement.
You probably don't know my background but I was one of the first people in the US to successfully sue a school district for sexual abuse suffered at the hands of a teacher. The lawsuit took seven years to settle and endured countless appeals and some legislative law changes during the process.
But the road is now paved. You can now sue in an enviornment favorable to victims. I'd strongly recommend it.
If you like you can send me an email at derekaz2003@yahoo.com . I'd need your home state/city and I'll attempt to locate an attorney for you. I don't need your name or anything I'll just get a name for you to call yourself. Steve the webmaster here can attest to the fact I routinely act as a "finder" of information and referrals for people.
You really need to get those CYS records. ANYTHING where he acknowledges what he did to you even if he plays it down is completely damning. Keep in mind the burden of proof in civil cases is far less then criminal ones. There is no "reasonable doubt" just 51/49 majority of evidence. If you have investigations, reports, niece talking about abuse, social workers who suspect something happend, a recording of him or your mother (that would be good - get her to talk about it) admitting it happend, then YOU are in control.
You really need to take the bull by the horns here. Even if you don't get a big settlement if you can get ANY victory it will be that - a victory - and totally eliminate any chance he would have of trying something.
Don't wait until he does it to countersue. You need to strike first.
Silverthorne
DerekAZ2003@yahoo.com
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Message 118280 Re: Go on the offensive
Posted by x_tia
on Oct 15, 2003 11:37 AM | Also by x_tia
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Thread 118215, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 11:30 AM [QUESTIONS???????] 118218, x_Silverthorne, Oct 14, 2003 12:46 PM [Answers - and some questions for you] 118237, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 04:43 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you] 118238, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 04:58 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you] 118239, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 05:04 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you] 118240, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 05:06 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you] 118261, x_Silverthorne, Oct 15, 2003 03:10 AM [Go on the offensive] 118280, x_tia, Oct 15, 2003 11:37 AM [Re: Go on the offensive] 118285, x_Silverthorne, Oct 15, 2003 05:16 PM [Tia - you need to strike now!] 118311, x_tia, Oct 16, 2003 09:55 AM [Re: Tia - you need to strike now!] 118323, x_Sisco, Oct 17, 2003 11:05 AM [Re: Tia - you need to strik...] 118326, x_tia, Oct 17, 2003 11:42 AM [Re: Tia - you need to stri...] 118343, x_darlene, Oct 18, 2003 02:36 PM [establishing boundries] 118344, Rejected
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