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Forum: Old Message Board

Thread (Discussion): QUESTIONS???????

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Message 118237 (In Reply to Message 118218)
Re: Answers - and some questions for you

Posted by x_tia on Oct 14, 2003 04:43 PM | Also by x_tia

Gender: , Age Bracket: , State: , Country:

oh my, i did tell family members, i was 11, this is not my grandfather, although my stepgrandfather touched my sister and i inapp. as well (just gets better), lol
anyhow, this was my stepfather, he DID admit to the worker that he touched my inapp, state police were to contact me but never did,
his grandaughter, whom he touched and licked allegedly, tells things sporadically, they are sending her to counceling and if she restates this, they will reopen the case, it is very hard to get a child to be consistent with their testimony and that is the biggest determent to a cys investigation,
stupidly, we only know for sure that he has sexually abused 2 female stepdaughters, being myself and one from a former marriage, so stupidly, we thought he would never harm or touch his own bio, grandchild, this is partly why i stood behind my sister, and came out with the truth to my mom, but over 30 years ago i told my oldest bro whom now refuses to believe it and is taking sides with my mother. it is a long sad story, i was just looking for additional info and have located some on victimbar@ncvc.org, i know past age 23 nothing can be done, i am just trying to gain knowledge from a legal standpoint if this should come to fruition, their threat of a lawsuit, from the cys perspective, i understand all too well, so hope i answered your questions, and thanks for your response,
tia

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Message 118218
Answers - and some questions for you

Posted by x_Silverthorne on Oct 14, 2003 12:46 PM | Also by x_Silverthorne

Gender: , Age Bracket: , State: , Country:

Tia,

If you worked for CYS for four years you probably have a better understanding then most of us as to why they do what they do.  I know here in Arizona our CFS department is in the middle of a firestorm because several children have died or been harmed in high profile CFS cases.

If your father is threatening to sue you for libel there isn't alot you can do. Anyone can sue anyone in America.  The real issue is will he collect anything?

You said he told the case worker he admitted touching you and that you "led him on".  At what age were you when did this touching?  (How old did he tell the CYS worker you were when this happend?).

How did this all come out with the granddaughter?  What led he mother to suspect he was touching her?  If she knew in advance he had molested you (how long ago did you tell her) yet left her own daugther with this man I'd wonder "why"?

If he admitted this to the caseworker he has no case against you.  All you've done is make an accusation and he's admitted to it.  Did he actually "admit" to it is the big question.

As for touching the granddaughter who is four those cases are honestly next to impossible to prove.  You said the granddaughter was inconsistent in her testimony with the CYS worker.  What exactly did she say and not say that made the worker believe there was "inconsistency".

I'll ask if your sister filed a police report.  CYS is fine for some things but a criminal investigation is another matter.  The police have to investigate themselves.  You might also consider filing a complaint regarding your own abuse.  Even though your an adult now and he can't be prosecuted it might be good to get it out into the open.  Then you'd have some "ammunition" in any libel action he takes.

Have you had any therapy or psychological help for this abuse?   Have you ever mentioned it to anyone.  When did you FIRST tell someone about it?  When did you tell your sister about it?  If you told someone years ago your case is alot stronger then if it just "came up now".

Lastly keep in mind your grandfather does NOT have the right to see his granddaugther.  Your sister needs to not allow him to see her.  Several high profile court cases have occured in which grandparents were told they do NOT have a right to see a grandchild if its against the wishes of the parent.

Silverthorne

Thread

118215, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 11:30 AM [QUESTIONS???????]
      118218, x_Silverthorne, Oct 14, 2003 12:46 PM [Answers - and some questions for you]
            118237, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 04:43 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you]
            118238, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 04:58 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you]
            118239, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 05:04 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you]
            118240, x_tia, Oct 14, 2003 05:06 PM [Re: Answers - and some questions for you]
                  118261, x_Silverthorne, Oct 15, 2003 03:10 AM [Go on the offensive]
                        118280, x_tia, Oct 15, 2003 11:37 AM [Re: Go on the offensive]
                              118285, x_Silverthorne, Oct 15, 2003 05:16 PM [Tia - you need to strike now!]
                                    118311, x_tia, Oct 16, 2003 09:55 AM [Re: Tia - you need to strike now!]
                                          118323, x_Sisco, Oct 17, 2003 11:05 AM [Re: Tia - you need to strik...]
                                                118326, x_tia, Oct 17, 2003 11:42 AM [Re: Tia - you need to stri...]
                        118343, x_darlene, Oct 18, 2003 02:36 PM [establishing boundries]
                        118344, Rejected

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Forum: Old Message BoardThread (Discussion): QUESTIONS???????

Message 118237 (In Reply to Message 118218)Re: Answers - and some questions for you

Message 118218Answers - and some questions for you

Thread

Forum: Old Message Board

Thread (Discussion): QUESTIONS???????

Message 118237 (In Reply to Message 118218)
Re: Answers - and some questions for you

Message 118218
Answers - and some questions for you