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Forum: Old Message Board
Thread (Discussion): My son was convicted - Re: More questions for A Mom
Message 118091
My son was convicted
Posted by x_Amom
on Oct 12, 2003 01:04 PM | Also by x_Amom
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My son who was 14 at the time was charged with a CSC. He plead quilty to a lower charge and was put on probation and attend a therapy session weekly. I am really looking for some information/support groups that me and my husband can view. Although the therapist is informative the information she gave us dates 1982. Surely in 20 years something else has been published or other studies have taking place. I want this to be my sons last encounter with this issue and I want to help him and see that he helps himself deal with these issues. He is not and was never abused and I want to understand some of why this happened and my husband and my role in helping our son make better decision in the future so this never happens again.
Thank you
A mom
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Message 118100 (In Reply to Message 118091)
Re: My son was convicted
Posted by x_anti
on Oct 13, 2003 02:24 AM | Also by x_anti
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what exactly did he do?
peace to you, anti
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Message 118106 (In Reply to Message 118091)
Re: My son was convicted
Posted by x_Rob
on Oct 13, 2003 04:49 AM | Also by x_Rob
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Hi,
I know of one organization that you could contact for further information:
Stop-It Now! National HELPLINE 1-888-PREVENT [773-8368]
9 A.M. to 5 P.M. EST http://www.stopitnow.com/
Steve if this cannot be posted would you pass the information along to the lady.
Thanks
Rob
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Message 118108 (In Reply to Message 118091)
Questions for A Mom
Posted by x_Silverthorne
on Oct 13, 2003 04:56 AM | Also by x_Silverthorne
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A Mom,
Can you tell us what exactly he did and if there are other requirements on him (registry or lifetime probation).
To be honest there isn't alot of material out there for this problem. You might visit this website:
www.healingwives.com
Its from a woman who had a husband commit CSC but there are some good things on there for support.
As far as making sure it doesnt happen again is he responding to therapy? What does the therapist think about what happend? We're there repressed sexual issues?
Thank you,
Silverthorne
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Message 118191 (In Reply to Message 118091)
Re: My son was convicted
Posted by x_Persevere
on Oct 13, 2003 09:55 PM | Also by x_Persevere
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AMom, I certainly know what you're going through - Been there myself. This is the best link I've found for up to date research: http://www.focusas.com/AdolescentSexOffenders.html
I also participate in a message board for parents of juvenile offenders. I don't think I can post the link here but if you e-mail me, I'll give it to you
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Message 118242 (In Reply to Message 118108)
Re: Questions for A Mom
Posted by x_Amom
on Oct 14, 2003 06:24 PM | Also by x_Amom
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My son was 14 at the time and he spend a lot of time with my 5 yr old niece. On one or more occasions he exposed himself to her and ask for her to touch him. She did but only with her finger and the encounter ended. According to my niece nothing else occured. My son also says nothing else occured. He was charged with a CSC as an adult. We were able to get the charge reduced to assualt as a minor. He has been attending one on one therapy for about 6 months. He is on probation until he completes the therapy. His therapist seems nice enough and she has indicated that my son has almost completed his therapy. She has some concerns that he may still be fantasing about young kids. He is now 15. The imformation she gave us is really for a partner of an offender and not the parents. My thing is other than my husband I know of no one else that has gone though this and I just need some more information. thank you for your suggestions.
Mom
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Message 118248 (In Reply to Message 118242)
Re: Questions for A Mom
Posted by x_orolan
on Oct 14, 2003 07:36 PM | Also by x_orolan
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A tough situation. Seems that what your son really needs is a girlfriend who is his age to get his mind back on track where it belongs. But I bet his probation prohibits him from being alone with minors, regardless of age. This makes it pretty hard for him, don't you think? What does his therapist say about this? Does she advocate that he date another 15 year-old?
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Message 118262 (In Reply to Message 118242)
Resources for A Mom - please read
Posted by x_Silverthorne
on Oct 15, 2003 03:21 AM | Also by x_Silverthorne
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A Mom,
I'm going to recommend a couple books to you that may help. Coincidently I'm returning to school next January to earn my masters in psychology. I plan on treating adolescent sexual offenders as part of my practice.
The Relapse Prevention Workbook for Youth in Treatment (Guided Workbooks for Juvenile Sex Offenders)
by Charlene Steen and Euan Bear
ISBN: 1884444024
URL: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1884444024/ref=pd_sim_books_2/104-8960160-2264753?v=glance&s=books
Treating Youth Who Sexually Abuse: An Integrated Multi-Component Approach
by Paul Stephen Lundrigan
ISBN: 0789009374
URL: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0789009374/qid=1066198437/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/104-8960160-2264753?v=glance&s=books
Juvenile Sexual Offending : Causes, Consequences, and Correction
by Gail Ryan and Sandy Lane
ISBN: 0787908436
URL: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0787908436/ref=pd_sim_books_5/104-8960160-2264753?v=glance&s=books
These books are very "high tech" and specific. The last one is good (I own it) but it isn't a book you can blow thru. Still they all do a good job of describing some of the issues your son may be going thru and probably what he's going thru in treatment.
As with anything ongoing maintenance is important. I'll ask some questions in another thread here to gauge where he is developmentally.
Silverthorne
PS - ALL these books are available at www.amazon.com and I've included the url links to each books page there. If you buy them please can there from this sites book page (Steve the web server gets a small commission - doesnt cost you anything) as it will help support this website. Thanks.
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Message 118263 (In Reply to Message 118242)
More questions for A Mom
Posted by x_Silverthorne
on Oct 15, 2003 03:24 AM | Also by x_Silverthorne
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A Mom,
From the sounds of it your son is being treated fairly by the system I wanted to touch base on a couple issues.
1) You said the therapist was concerned he was still attracted to minors. Did she indicate this was the cause of his original offense (attraction) and that it wasn't a "crime of the moment"? Why does she feel this way?
2) Does your son have any age-appropriate friends either male or female?
3) Does your son participate in any sporting events or anything like that (social network)?
4) Has your son had a boy or girlfriend at this point?
A healthy social network is critical to recovery. I myself while suffering from pedophilia for years have never acted out. I've had the benefit of the best therapy money can buy and I'm in pretty decent shape. One thing my therapist worked with me on was developing healthy friendships and social contacts. People need someone (and parents don't count) they can just engage with. If your son is a 'loner' without many friends he could have real problems developing healthy relationships in the future.
Silverthorne
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Message 118294 (In Reply to Message 118263)
Re: More questions for A Mom
Posted by x_Amom
on Oct 15, 2003 08:48 PM | Also by x_Amom
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My son has some confident issues that are slowing being resolved. He does have a girlfriend (only in the last few weeks). He has many friends his age and has done a lot of things with them. He is involved in JV football and plans to wieght lift once football is over. My son is not what I would consider shy or a loner but he does hold back from crowds. This is something we are working on.
I have encourage him to ask his girlfriend to the movies and me and his dad would tag along (in the way back of course). To answer another person questions, his therapist is all for this and glad that we are encouraging it. The therapist wants to see my son socialize more.
Thank you so much for the resources I cannot tell you how much better I feel just having some information to go on.
>
> A Mom,
>
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Message 118305 (In Reply to Message 118294)
Re: More questions for A Mom
Posted by x_Silverthorne
on Oct 16, 2003 04:54 AM | Also by x_Silverthorne
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This is good news then and I hope those book links I provided help. You can order them right off Amazon.
Like I said please go to them from this site so Steve gets something to help maintain this fantastic website here.
Steve could you explain again how it works (amazon)?
Thanks,
Silverthorne
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Message 118310 (In Reply to Message 118305)
Re: More questions for A Mom
Posted by x_Steve
on Oct 16, 2003 09:27 AM | Also by x_Steve
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Silverthorne wrote:
>
> This is good news then and I hope those book links I provided
> help. You can order them right off Amazon.
>
> Like I said please go to them from this site so Steve gets
> something to help maintain this fantastic website here.
>
> Steve could you explain again how it works (amazon)?
When you click a link from our book section it takes you to that book's page on the Amazon website. If you buy that book or any other book or product from Amazon during that visit SexCriminals.com receives a commission. Most of the commissions are 2.5%, some are 5.0% and a very small fraction are higher. Last quarter (3 month period) the site averaged a 5.2% commission on the 2 1/2 dozen total items sold, earning just under $0.70 per item. Every little bit helps cut down on how much I spend out of pocket running the site, but Amazon commissions are making a pretty tiny dent right now.
http://www.sexcriminals.com/messageboard/read.html?f=1&i=12902&t=12534
http://www.sexcriminals.com/messageboard/read.html?f=1&i=12590&t=12534
http://www.sexcriminals.com/messageboard/read.html?f=1&i=14970&t=14953
-Steve, SexCriminals.com
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Thread
118091, x_Amom, Oct 12, 2003 01:04 PM [My son was convicted]
118100, x_anti, Oct 13, 2003 02:24 AM [Re: My son was convicted]
118106, x_Rob, Oct 13, 2003 04:49 AM [Re: My son was convicted]
118108, x_Silverthorne, Oct 13, 2003 04:56 AM [Questions for A Mom]
118242, x_Amom, Oct 14, 2003 06:24 PM [Re: Questions for A Mom]
118248, x_orolan, Oct 14, 2003 07:36 PM [Re: Questions for A Mom]
118262, x_Silverthorne, Oct 15, 2003 03:21 AM [Resources for A Mom - please read]
118263, x_Silverthorne, Oct 15, 2003 03:24 AM [More questions for A Mom]
118294, x_Amom, Oct 15, 2003 08:48 PM [Re: More questions for A Mom]
118305, x_Silverthorne, Oct 16, 2003 04:54 AM [Re: More questions for A Mom]
118310, x_Steve, Oct 16, 2003 09:27 AM [Re: More questions for A Mom]
118191, x_Persevere, Oct 13, 2003 09:55 PM [Re: My son was convicted]
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