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Forum: Off Topic
Thread (Discussion): An SO of a different type - Oops
Message 170522
Posted by brennus
on Jan 03, 2006 02:09 PM | Also by brennus
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 21 - 29,
State: Wisconsin,
Country: United States |
Hello.
I've recently found out that I have some attraction to men in addition to women, not instead of women. I've found this out only in the last 2 years. I'm considered either bi curious or bi with a strong preference for women. I believe this is a safer place to ackowledge this attraction to than other forums.
However, in a lot of circles, bisexual and gay men are considered just as deviant as rapists or pedophiles. Many will see me as just as much a danger to their kids as Chester the Molester if I told them I like men and women. Most people I've dated are in their mid 30's to mid 40's, with a few closer to my age so I don't mess with little kids, but no matter. I've messed with a 44 year old man, so I'm still considered deviant. My father has been angry at me for having gay friends, and I can imagine his reaction to finding out I may swing both ways.
I expect the harshest reaction to come from women who are straight, as straight women generally want straight men. They don't want men who have swung both ways. I expect support from queer women, queer men, and some straight men.
All of the things that SO's have been demonized as, bi and gay men have, but bi and gay men are USUALLY not on a SO registry. The way the SO registries have been going, I don't expect this to last for long.
I'm looking to get responses from male RSO's (not non RSO's) on how it feels to deal with society labeling you as a deviant, and tips to mitigate the impact of a "deviant" label.
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Message 170554 (In Reply to Message 170522)
Posted by Valerie
on Jan 04, 2006 12:58 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I would offer you this advise, get some help, the next thing I expect to read from you is you have an attraction to blow up dolls. Your post only tells me you have issues with sex whether it be to kids, males females or anything else that only expands your repoitoe(spelling) and range of sexual encounters. Sounds to me your looking for validation and acceptance for your sexual appetite. In the big picture gays have come along way in getting society to take the deviant label off their behavior. I just see it as society has thrown them a bone. So be it. Its not really a battle I want to engage in. I mostly see it as a natural selection process in the evolution of man. But hey you want to engage in homosexual behavior, go for it ..make sure its legal and I dont have to pay thru the nose on my medical premiums because you make a claim when your so-called attraction starts getting communicable. Its perfectly ok if you take yourself out of the gene pool...
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Message 170574 (In Reply to Message 170522)
Posted by LockEmUp
on Jan 04, 2006 04:30 PM | Also by LockEmUp
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: New Jersey,
Country: United States |
Don't be so hard on yourself, Brennus. Your sexual orientation doesn't make you "deviant". Sex Offenders, pedophiles, etc. can be straight, gay, or bi. Same goes for those who choose not to offend. Glad to hear you're in the latter.
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Message 170688 (In Reply to Message 170574)
Posted by Valerie
on Jan 06, 2006 03:25 AM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
I was out of line about the gene pool comment. I apoligise...
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Message 173471 (In Reply to Message 170522)
Posted by june5
on Feb 20, 2006 03:32 AM | Also by june5
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
Brennus, if you feel that you are bisexual or gay and want to act on your feelings with a consesual adult partner, I would hardly call that deviant! Don't feel guilty about your feelings.
Sure, there are alot of people who are going to judge you and maybe even be mean to you because of this, should you act on it. But isn't being true to yourself more important? Life is too short to go around worrying what everybody else is going to think.
I have met a few people in my life who did have a serious problem with gays. I have found that those types tend to be pretty closed-minded and uptight generally, and not alot of fun to be around anyway! I mean, what kind of person would believe it is their business who you sleep with or what you do in your own bedroom?
If you ever meet anybody who is really homophobic, just remember that they probably have some "issues" themselves that they haven't dealt with. Anybody who is comfortable with his/her own sexuality has no reason to be bothered by yours. There was a study a few years ago in which psychiatrists hooked up those "penile electrodes" to severely homophobic, straight men, and found that the homophobic men had higher rates of measurable arousal to pictures of naked men than the straight guys who were not homophobic! Now what does that tell you?!
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Message 173472 (In Reply to Message 170688)
Oops
Posted by june5
on Feb 20, 2006 03:35 AM | Also by june5
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I didn't notice that you were only looking for responses from RSO's about how it feels to be labeled a "deviant." Well, I'm not an RSO, but my husband is. Trust me, most people consider ME a deviant because I am married to a "deviant". By the way, this includes my father. It doesn't feel good to be judged or loathed by your own parent, but we are adults. At some point you have to do what you feel is the right thing and let your parents accept it or not.
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Thread
170522, brennus, Jan 03, 2006 02:09 PM
170554, Valerie, Jan 04, 2006 12:58 PM
170574, LockEmUp, Jan 04, 2006 04:30 PM
170688, Valerie, Jan 06, 2006 03:25 AM
173472, june5, Feb 20, 2006 03:35 AM [Oops]
173471, june5, Feb 20, 2006 03:32 AM
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