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Forum: Off Topic
Thread (Discussion): Little Humor this am - None, but..............
Message 166991
Posted by Valerie
on Nov 09, 2005 04:22 PM | Also by Valerie
| Gender: Female,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
You know you live in Florida when:
You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.
You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti'Os.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood
covering your windows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer you say it has
3 bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to only pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom
of the pool.
You own more than three large coolers.
You wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel
the least bit guilty about it.
You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water
in your freezer.
When you moved to the coast, you couldn't hang a shower curtain
without reading directions; today you can assemble a portable
generator by candlelight.
You catch a 13-pound redfish in your driveway.
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's
insurance policy.
You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
You can rattle off the names of three or more
meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
Relocating to Cleveland, OH doesn't seem like such a crazy idea.
You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.
You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder
or a tree worker.
A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean its Christmas.
You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm
and the "dirty side."
You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air
conditioning
Arthur J. Lane, DDS
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Message 167047 (In Reply to Message 166991)
Very Good!
Posted by Renunciation
on Nov 10, 2005 03:54 AM | Also by Renunciation
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: 30 - 39,
State: N/A,
Country: Bahrain |
I have seen lots of "you know you live in..." from various regions, but never saw this one.
Thank you for sharing and bringing a smile to this ole deviant.
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Message 167077 (In Reply to Message 166991)
Posted by PVulcan
on Nov 10, 2005 04:29 PM | Also by PVulcan
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
I saw this and thought it was cute.
Who's the genius that decided to put an "S" in the word LISP?
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Message 167111 (In Reply to Message 166991)
Posted by rabbitreborn
on Nov 10, 2005 07:37 PM | Also by rabbitreborn
| Gender: Male,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: Florida,
Country: United States |
The truely SAD part is that SOOOO much of that is true...........
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Message 167130 (In Reply to Message 167047)
Posted by Navigatr1
on Nov 11, 2005 06:32 AM | Also by Navigatr1
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: United States |
So which one of these applies to you? All of the above? Sorry, it's late and my humor is a little warped this evening. Just smack me offline. lol.
--Navigatr1
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Message 167160 (In Reply to Message 167130)
None, but..............
Posted by Renunciation
on Nov 11, 2005 11:37 PM | Also by Renunciation
| Gender: N/A,
Age Bracket: N/A,
State: N/A,
Country: Bahrain |
Some of these apply:
You know you live in California when...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
This one applies 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
This one applies 6. Someone asks you how far away something is; you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You know you live in New York when...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty.
3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature."
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You know you live in Alaska when...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You know you live in the Deep South when...
1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. "Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After fifteen years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.
You know you live in Colorado when...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, and he stops at the Day Care Center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
You know you live in the Midwest when...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
You know you live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
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Thread
166991, Valerie, Nov 09, 2005 04:22 PM
167047, Renunciation, Nov 10, 2005 03:54 AM [Very Good!]
167130, Navigatr1, Nov 11, 2005 06:32 AM
167160, Renunciation, Nov 11, 2005 11:37 PM [None, but..............]
167077, PVulcan, Nov 10, 2005 04:29 PM
167111, rabbitreborn, Nov 10, 2005 07:37 PM
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