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Forum: General

Thread (Discussion): Taking Sides

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Message 174281 (In Reply to Message 174228)

Posted by Valerie on Mar 04, 2006 02:15 PM | Also by Valerie

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: 50 - 59, State: Florida, Country: United States

Power has nothing to do with it, blowing your candle out so mine shines brighter is not a goal...but long before you or I got here, the victim bashing was prevalent and Steve made peace by separating the forums...so now the victims have a place to derive strength and get encouragement to go beyond their pain....its a place for people to break cycles that could infect another generation if left to its own devises. Its a place for women usually to break the bonds of family or acquaintances who have deceived them or their loved ones and break the chain that compromises their futures. Our lives and circumstances and stories can never fit into a regimen of forums and like yourself, your story bleeds over to other situations. After reading many of your post, I dont think you can have it both ways.My personal opinion is that your husband is your number 1 priority, and there is nothing wrong with that, SO's need support systems and we all agree on that. In your own words you admitted, to him deceiving you about a prior charge, that you found out about, by this latest conviction. But you are steadfast in your loyalty to him and GodBless you for it....hey I don't pay your bills so you do what you need to do. But a few of us have read this scenario before...we also have read aftermaths of your situation. There is an old southern saying, "burn me once, your fault, burn me twice, mine" Some victims have been burned twice here and we need to break those cycles...its hard to do with someone who in my opinion has been burned twice that we know of and is adamant about defending a position of enduring a third. Just so we have an understanding I never questioned your sincerity of your rape, in fact I tend to believe it strongly...but think about it, if a person was dropped from another planet and read your bio and your post, do you really expect them to walk away with "wow she is a strong, unbiased, understanding woman"? . Maybe if we dig deeper the lack of justice you received from trying to prosecute the rape case, spilled over to your perceptions of what you think you deserve as an adult. I am no shrink, what do I know?

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Message 174228

Posted by june5 on Mar 03, 2006 10:45 PM | Also by june5

Gender: Female, Age Bracket: N/A, State: N/A, Country: United States

Some folks think this site is being overrun by the SO's and there are a lot of flames going up.

Here are the groups that we are supposed to choose from:  Child Molesters, Pedos, Pedo-Pushers, Victims, RSO's, and RSO Supporters.

How are we supposed to have any intelligent discourse going on when we are all labeling each other that way?

In my opinion, narrow-minded people like to label others that way.  It keeps things simple.   We all aren't in an easily-labeled group.

I actually found myself defending to a perfect stranger that I am a rape victim.  I am not the first one to have faced this challenge.  I'm supposed to be on a side, right?  Well, I'm sorry, I don't have one.  I have empathy for the victims and the SO's, and I know I am not the only one.  But I can't say anything without somebody pointing out for me that I am clearly deranged because my husband is an RSO (who is probably reoffending at this moment, according to some on this board).  The same things happen to the "child molesters" who obviously have nothing intelligent to add, based on their "status."  If you are a victim and have something to say in "defense" of an RSO, well, then, you probably aren't really a victim.

Speaking of victims, people are wondering why there aren't more victims in the victims forum or elsewhere.  Take a look at the threads there for yourself.  One getting alot of action lately is about a woman who married an RSO.  Yeah, I bet someone who was attacked recently really cares about this.   Most of the posts over there go something like this:  HOW COULD ANYBODY CARE ABOUT A CHILD MOLESTER!!!!   Again, very helpful and informative for victims.  This site has become one big RSO-bashing fest.

It is unfortunate, but this site is starting to remind me of Junior-High School.  It is really too bad, because this is such a serious issue.
Call me a dreamer, but it would be really nice if we could all just respect each other without all the childish name-calling.  I don't think that is too much to ask from adults.

Otherwise, go right ahead and respond that I'm just some pedo-pushing lunatic.  For some people, the only way that they can feel powerful is to put down others.  I wouldn't want to take that away from anyone.

Thread

174228, june5, Mar 03, 2006 10:45 PM
      174258, Navigatr1, Mar 04, 2006 05:08 AM
      174279, orolan, Mar 04, 2006 01:58 PM
      174281, Valerie, Mar 04, 2006 02:15 PM
            174307, june5, Mar 04, 2006 08:41 PM [Valerie]
                  174376, Pending Further Review
                  174507, emergency56, Mar 16, 2006 05:54 PM [Former Police officer]
            174322, june5, Mar 05, 2006 12:06 AM [Valerie]
                  174348, Pending Further Review
                  174350, Pending Further Review
                  174353, Pending Further Review
                  174375, Pending Further Review
                  174420, Pending Further Review
                  174472, Rejected
                  174475, Valerie, Mar 11, 2006 05:37 AM
                        174609, Pending Further Review
                        174619, Pending Further Review
      174419, Pending Further Review
      174517, fireflybabe, Mar 17, 2006 05:48 PM [VICTIMS DO COME HERE]

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Forum: GeneralThread (Discussion): Taking Sides

Message 174281 (In Reply to Message 174228)

Message 174228

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Forum: General

Thread (Discussion): Taking Sides