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Forum: General

Thread (Discussion): Orolan's Story

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Message 120043 (In Reply to Message 120017)
Age of consent?

Posted by steve on Oct 18, 2003 02:51 AM | Also by steve

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 30 - 39, State: Virginia, Country: United States

> It would also require exposing my brother to prosecution, because I would
> have to name him on the stand.

You stated that your brother was 17 at the time and the girl he had sex with was 14. Were those their ages when the first act occurred? What was their age difference in months? And in the state the sex acts occurred in what did the relevant state laws state?

I ask because in some states sex acts between minors is legal so long as their age difference is less than a certain number of years, based on their actual birth dates, not their ages rounded down to a whole year number.

Based on the details you provided I assume that the sex acts between them were illegal, but since you didn't actually state that they were and what the laws said at the time so I think those details would be useful to those of us reading.

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Message 120017
The Beginning

Posted by orolan on Oct 17, 2003 12:41 PM | Also by orolan

Gender: Male, Age Bracket: 40 - 49, State: N/A, Country: United States

I had seen this board in the past but I never took the time to read any posts, thinking it was simply a board for the “fringe” people who advocate the death penalty for all sex offenders, etc. A friend of mine told me it was not like that, so I recently began frequenting it. I jumped right in, offering my thoughts, opinions and knowledge where it suited. I realized along the way that nobody had ever asked me “why” I was even here, and I had never offered that information. I talked with Steve via email about it and he felt that I should go ahead and tell my story, feeling that it may be informative and helpful to somebody that reads it. After some thought, I concurred.

Some of you will be angry, some will not. Some will lash out in self-righteous “I knew it” posts, and others will not. Regardless, here it is. Please at least have the courtesy to read the whole thing before you post a response, if any.

Seven years ago my oldest daughter, then 12, came to stay with me for the summer. She brought along her best friend, along with the 14 year-old daughter of one of my older brother’s friends. Living with me at the time was my youngest brother, then 17. All three girls came from a state different than the one I live in. This is important later on in the story.

My brother and the 14 year-old eventually became quite “friendly”, to the point of having sex. When I found out, I sat them both down and discussed the situation quite frankly with them. I explained the perils of unprotected sex, made sure that she was not being coerced or pressured in any way, and then told them I did not want it occurring in my house while my child and her friend were there. I learned during this conversation that my brother was not her first sexual experience, which eased my mind somewhat.

The 14 year-old returned home after six weeks, and my daughter and her friend went home two weeks after that. If any further sexual activity occurred, it was without my knowledge.

Shortly after returning home, the 14 year-old went to the doctor for her first pelvic examination. Since she did not go to her pediatrician, this was a doctor who had never seen her before. This doctor noted evidence of her sexual activity, and saw fit to discuss it with the girl’s parents. Naturally they knew nothing about it, thinking that she was the little princess she had always been.

Well, they confronted her about it. She told them that she had sex while at my house. They asked her “with who?”, but she would not say. Then they asked if I knew about it, and she told them I did. The parents then called the police.

Two weeks later, I was arrested. I was charged with rape, aggravated child molestation, enticing a minor for immoral purposes, and transporting a minor across a state line for immoral purposes. And the Sheriff was trying to get the US Attorney to charge me with a Mann Act violation. Bond was set at $50,000. I was told later that the rationale behind all of this had been that if I knew about it, I must have been the person who did it.

I got out on bond 1 week later, and the following month a Grand Jury handed down an indictment on a single charge. The indictment read “Enticing a minor to commit illicit sexual acts with another; to whit, discussing said sexual acts in a frank and open manner with a minor not the indictee’s own child.” Turns out that the initial charges were brought at the request of the parents in an effort to boost the bond so high that I would not be able to make it. When it came time to present the case to the Grand Jury, the Prosecutor quickly determined that the charges would never stick. So she only presented the enticement charge.

I hired an attorney, and we began discussing our options. The girl would say no more than that I had talked with her about her sexual activity, in depth. She refused to name my brother as her sexual partner, and at the same time she was adamant that I had never so much as touched her in an inappropriate manner. The prosecutor had no idea that my brother had been living in my house, so she did not even attempt to charge him with a crime.

My attorney and I decided that a trial was not going to be the best route to take. It would require my daughter and her friend taking the stand, something I could not accept. It would also require exposing my brother to prosecution, because I would have to name him on the stand. And the final straw was that I was actually guilty of the indicted crime. I had indeed had a frank discussion about sex with a child who wasn’t my own. If I took the stand, I would have to admit the discussion or else risk perjury. I don’t lie, so that was not an option.

We went to the prosecutor and sought a deal. She offered a ten year probation sentence, with no sex offender status and a condition that I return to my home state to serve out my sentence. That of course was contingent on the home state accepting me, but since I had lived and worked in that state for over 12 years and my offense was a non-violent and non-contact offense, it was almost a sure thing.

The judge accepted the plea, and I was on my way. I returned home, and was contacted 3 months later by a local Probation Supervisor. He told me to come in and see him the next day, and I have been going to see him every month for the last 7 years. One important note here. My home state saw fit to provide me with a list of sex offender conditions, and placed me on its’ own sex offender registry. When I objected, citing the lack of such conditions by my sentencing judge, I was told “If you don’t like it, we can always refuse to continue supervising you. Then you would have to leave your home and job to go live in “x” where your conviction is.” So I have put up with it.

I did my court-ordered “therapy”, in which my psychologist decided that I had no place in her “group therapy” weekly meetings that the rest of the sex offenders went to. So we did our sessions one-on-one, once a month. I was discharged from therapy after 10 months. I went to see her for a second round of sessions two years later, but that was due to an event that will be told in another post. I have stayed in contact with her over the years, and drop in for a “session” about 4 times a year now(sometimes, you just need somebody to talk to). We have collaborated on several surveys of sex offenders in our community, because I have naturally become quite interested in sex offenders and what “makes them tick”. She was also the driving force behind my decision to seek a graduate degree.

Since the sex offender conditions prohibited me from being alone with minors, I went back to court to get an order from the sentencing judge that specifically allowed me to have full and unsupervised contact with my children, to the extent that they could even live with me if I so chose. The judge, knowing the history of my case, saw no problem with this arrangement, and my therapist supported it fully. My Probation Supervisor, on the other hand, was adamantly outspoken against it. He actually attended the hearing, and was chastised repeatedly by the judge for his mutterings and occasional outbursts. It was actually quite funny from where I was sitting. Thus I am the ONLY sex offender in my district who has teenage girls living with him, with court consent, that is.

So, there you have it. There is more to the story, as other things have happened in the last 7 years. But I will save those, feeding them in as the time is right.

I am a convicted sex offender. I am not a pedophile, nor am I a child molester. I am a human being. Hopefully those of you who are mature adults will understand. If you don’t, I’ll say a prayer for you.

Orolan

Thread

120017, orolan, Oct 17, 2003 12:41 PM [The Beginning]
      120028, Silverthorne, Oct 17, 2003 06:56 PM [Orolan's Story - Whats wrong with the reg...]
            120045, dp1, Oct 18, 2003 03:17 AM [Do You Have A Chip on Your Shoulder?]
                  120047, myoung, Oct 18, 2003 03:56 AM [this is a very rare instance]
                        120121, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 08:19 PM
                              120146, myoung, Oct 20, 2003 02:19 AM [orolan]
                              120147, Rejected
                        120927, ccw5305, Nov 04, 2003 12:43 AM [I can see you know where I'm comeing ...]
                  120062, Silverthorne, Oct 18, 2003 09:40 AM [But it is personal]
      120030, orolan, Oct 17, 2003 10:04 PM [Part Two]
            120063, Silverthorne, Oct 18, 2003 09:45 AM [Sue them anyway]
                  120115, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 06:54 PM [False reporting]
      120031, orolan, Oct 17, 2003 10:14 PM [The Polygraph Test]
            120037, dp1, Oct 18, 2003 01:51 AM [Orolan's Lie]
                  120069, orolan, Oct 18, 2003 03:01 PM [Scam]
                        120076, dp1, Oct 18, 2003 06:19 PM [Polygraph]
                              120080, Silverthorne, Oct 18, 2003 09:52 PM [Its true]
                                    120099, dp1, Oct 19, 2003 12:27 PM [Silver's Reply]
                                          120118, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 07:59 PM [polygraphs]
                                                120150, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 03:26 AM [Orolan's Polygraph Reply]
                                                      120195, myoung, Oct 20, 2003 04:02 PM [Question for DP1]
                                                            120206, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 09:21 PM [MYoung]
                                                                  120240, myoung, Oct 21, 2003 03:45 AM [thanks dp1]
                                                                  121145, katie, Nov 06, 2003 05:55 PM [question]
                                                                        121188, dp1, Nov 07, 2003 01:58 AM [Standard Sex Of...]
                                                                              122092, katie, Nov 21, 2003 05:38 PM [NO!]
                                                                                    122098, orolan, Nov 21, 2003 09:01 PM [New th...]
                                                                                          122109, steve, Nov 21, 2003 11:34 PM [I agree]
                                                      120220, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 12:06 AM [Reply to DP1]
                                                            120232, dp1, Oct 21, 2003 01:05 AM [Poly]
                                                                  120265, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 04:50 PM [Dahmer]
                              120116, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 07:50 PM
                                    120160, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 04:47 AM [Reply to Orolan]
                                          120221, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 12:16 AM [Humor, and a question]
                                                120235, dp1, Oct 21, 2003 01:26 AM [Reply to Orolan]
                                                      120269, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 05:09 PM [Cases]
                                                            120313, dp1, Oct 22, 2003 10:24 AM [Early Term from Probation]
                                                                  120325, orolan, Oct 22, 2003 05:35 PM [Early term]
                              120117, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 07:50 PM
      120032, Rejected
      120036, dp1, Oct 18, 2003 01:39 AM [Courage to Reveal]
            120070, orolan, Oct 18, 2003 03:14 PM [Judgement]
                  120077, PVulcan, Oct 18, 2003 07:02 PM [Interesting Indeed]
                        120081, Silverthorne, Oct 18, 2003 09:58 PM [Reply to PVulcan]
                              120096, PVulcan, Oct 19, 2003 08:14 AM
                              120100, dp1, Oct 19, 2003 12:50 PM [Everyone's Innocent?]
                                    120110, Silverthorne, Oct 19, 2003 05:35 PM [Why Im whining]
                                          120129, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 11:38 PM
                                                120178, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 12:08 PM [Lack of Rehabilitation?]
                                                      120226, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 12:34 AM [Rehabilitation]
                                                            120229, dp1, Oct 21, 2003 12:55 AM [Supervision Fees]
                                                                  120266, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 04:53 PM [Fees]
                                                120329, DoTheCrimeDoTheTime, Oct 22, 2003 08:30 PM [ Safe, Secur...]
                                                      120333, orolan, Oct 22, 2003 09:06 PM [costs]
                                                            120343, Silverthorne, Oct 23, 2003 03:06 AM [What a rip-off]
                                                                  120361, orolan, Oct 23, 2003 09:42 PM [Therapist]
                                          120179, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 12:16 PM [Silver's Reply]
                                          120212, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 11:10 PM [Silver's Reply]
                                                120222, Silverthorne, Oct 21, 2003 12:23 AM [You answred them]
                                                      120236, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 01:36 AM
                                                120231, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 01:05 AM [My two cents]
                                          121153, katie, Nov 06, 2003 06:16 PM
                                    120120, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 08:15 PM [We haven't heard from]
                                    120126, simon, Oct 19, 2003 09:08 PM
                                          120153, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 04:22 AM [Does Simon Have A Sense of Humor?]
                                          120174, PVulcan, Oct 20, 2003 06:06 AM
                                                120207, dp1, Oct 20, 2003 09:43 PM [Great Point But the Real Poi...]
                        120084, myoung, Oct 19, 2003 03:31 AM [To Vulcan]
                              120097, PVulcan, Oct 19, 2003 08:17 AM
                        120119, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 08:03 PM [PVulcan]
                              120143, PVulcan, Oct 20, 2003 01:53 AM [interesting still]
                                    120217, orolan, Oct 20, 2003 11:50 PM
      120043, steve, Oct 18, 2003 02:51 AM [Age of consent?]
            120122, orolan, Oct 19, 2003 08:26 PM [AOC]
                  120258, steve, Oct 21, 2003 03:42 PM
                        120263, orolan, Oct 21, 2003 04:44 PM
                              120305, steve, Oct 22, 2003 03:49 AM
                                    120326, orolan, Oct 22, 2003 05:42 PM [Simple mistakes]
      120102, yaesu, Oct 19, 2003 03:10 PM [Thanks for the story [nt]]
      120135, marta, Oct 20, 2003 12:29 AM [My opinion]
      120176, lj, Oct 20, 2003 08:56 AM [Question on your therapy]
            120215, orolan, Oct 20, 2003 11:42 PM
                  120223, Silverthorne, Oct 21, 2003 12:25 AM [What happend here?]
                        120327, orolan, Oct 22, 2003 06:04 PM [Friend's problem]
      120253, HPierce, Oct 21, 2003 02:47 PM [Justice at it's worst]
            120328, orolan, Oct 22, 2003 06:23 PM [Right to speak frankly]
      120775, myoung, Oct 31, 2003 03:32 PM [I just don't get it]
            120795, orolan, Oct 31, 2003 07:38 PM
                  120826, lj, Nov 01, 2003 01:51 AM [Question?]
                        120842, orolan, Nov 01, 2003 03:11 PM
                              120897, dp1, Nov 03, 2003 05:21 AM [Get A Modification for Contact]
                                    120920, orolan, Nov 04, 2003 12:03 AM [Mind Reader]
                                          120928, dp1, Nov 04, 2003 12:49 AM [Contact With Orolan]
                                          123257, dp1, Dec 17, 2003 06:04 PM [Status Update]
                                                123270, orolan, Dec 17, 2003 09:42 PM [Looong update]
                                                      123272, dp1, Dec 17, 2003 11:02 PM [Out of State VOP]
                                                            123277, orolan, Dec 18, 2003 12:40 AM
                                                                  123279, dp1, Dec 18, 2003 01:08 AM [Orolan]
                                                                        123311, orolan, Dec 18, 2003 08:36 PM
                                                                              123341, dp1, Dec 19, 2003 05:29 AM [Orolan]
                              120902, lj, Nov 03, 2003 05:45 AM [Your paradigm of society]
                                    120921, orolan, Nov 04, 2003 12:11 AM
                                          120952, lj, Nov 04, 2003 09:37 AM [I can relate!]
                                                120956, dp1, Nov 04, 2003 02:02 PM [New Board Post of the Year A...]
                                                      120969, lj, Nov 04, 2003 07:05 PM [Clarifying....]
                                                120964, Silverthorne, Nov 04, 2003 05:26 PM
                                                      120970, orolan, Nov 04, 2003 09:09 PM
                                                            120972, steve, Nov 04, 2003 09:23 PM [Post of the year]
                                                            120974, lj, Nov 04, 2003 09:38 PM
      121202, poetsdreamscape, Nov 07, 2003 06:23 AM [what a story]
            121230, orolan, Nov 07, 2003 07:40 PM
                  121346, poetsdreamscape, Nov 09, 2003 05:20 AM
                        121354, orolan, Nov 09, 2003 02:57 PM
                              121427, Silverthorne, Nov 11, 2003 06:02 PM
                                    121435, orolan, Nov 11, 2003 07:02 PM

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Forum: GeneralThread (Discussion): Orolan's Story

Message 120043 (In Reply to Message 120017)Age of consent?

Message 120017The Beginning

Thread

Forum: General

Thread (Discussion): Orolan's Story

Message 120043 (In Reply to Message 120017)
Age of consent?

Message 120017
The Beginning